This is imho, one of those situations that are difficult to call an opinion on until you’ve lived thru it, and sadly I lived thru it.
I am a professional woman, working in medicine, but took a break for a few years and entered the sales arena and went to work with my now, ex husband, running a division of his company (ran it well. Very well). I also helped him build and grow his company for quite a few years, but when I got pregnant, I developed severe preeclampsia, delivered our son (emergency) at 7 mos., and spent the next year working with my son, who was premature, helping him catch up with the other kids.
I continued to work a little, but we made a decision that I should be a stay at home mom until he was three, so I could be there for our son, as we were worried there’d be developmental issues (thankfully, there were none).
So, for the first time in my life I was not working, and for a period of 3 years. We had a successful company, and I also wrote all of the press-releases and conferred with my then husband about big decisions throughout my time as a stay at home mom. However, our company grew too fast, and the money went to his head.
I found out by accident (he never would have told me) he was having an affair when my son was 3. We had just built our dream home when I found out it had been going on for over six months. I was devastated but asked him to attend counseling with me and wanted to see if he would work on things. Our relationship wasn’t bad at all, it was that he felt ENTITLED to simply more than 1 woman. He refused to work on anything, did not go to counseling, and continued to see her so I did what I had to do.
I sadly filed for divorce, knowing he would not change and seriously he didn’t (he is going thru yet another divorce right now in fact). He found out I filed, but tried to beat me to the punch with a ridiculous offer of child support and custody. Instead of feeling guilty or having any remorse, or just simply try to do the right thing and be fair in our division of assets, he played hardball telling me what I’d get and when.
Knowing I’d have to start my life over again, this time however, far away from family in a different state, and re-entering my medical profession again (I would never work with my x husband ever again) would take time. Because of this and his inability to be fair with any division, I asked for child support and spousal support, to aid me in starting my life over.
And yes, I did need it. He his money and assets all over the globe. Deliberately transferred them to his parents, and tried to literally have me penniless, living on the streets. Most people divorcing are fair to their partners, but when my then husband, found out I would not be sticking around to take the pain of his unrepentant adultery, he decided to instead “stick” it to me financially and I had a child to raise.
I do not at all regret asking for spousal support, and got far less than what the courts would have given me, but I was so tired and sad over his negative choices that I refused to fight him legally any more.
There is nothing wrong with a situation where one spouse is far more wealthy than the other, or in a situation like mine where I helped BUILD our company, and then left the work arena when we as a team, thought it best I be home with our child in the first few years of his life (as it was important, he was a preemie, and we could easily afford that).
Today, my nasty x is going thru a divorce now (he remarried the day after our D was final) and the poor woman is getting nothing, because he squandered his $ and got fired from his job (he merged his company with another shortly after our divorce and his partner fired him).
What my advice is to anybody is to be wise. Don’t make assumptions when it comes to a divorce. Hopefully no one here will endure what I did, or go thru that pain, but if you do simply be wise.
If there aren’t kids, both are working then equally divide things. I’d know I would personally be decent to anybody I might have loved enough to marry and tried to be fair in dividing assets with my x, but he wasn’t fair or nice.
Each situation is unique, and should be considered as such imho. I seriously would laugh at anybody who called me a golddigger. Nah, those would have been the women he spent his $ on, on the side. Not me.