Post # 16
I don’t think of it as karma, but along the same vein: the best revenge is a good life.
I was an overweight, book smart, pushover teenage girl. I didn’t like who I was back then. High School was rough. I put too much worth into what others thought of me. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t find someone. My views on relationship were very character driven from books and movies. I had very few female friends. I was one of the guys, for the most part.
10 + years later, I grew up. I learned how to manage my weight. I learned how to socialize. I learned how to successfully manage relationships. I have a career and a wonderful fiance.
If people compared their lives to mine, they could feel jealous. I’m very fortunate. Revenge is a well lived life.
Post # 17
sbl99 : Your example just seems like the natural consequence of him being a shitty partner. Why does it have to involve cosmic justice? Where does karma factor in with abused children or nice people getting MLS or bad people who live happily ever after? I am not familiar enough with the true religious idea of karma to comment on it, but can say I disagree strongly with the more common idea, where whatever happens to someone is seen as “pay back” — good or bad — for their previous actions. Sometimes the “karma” is just a natural consequence of someone’s actions, decisions, etc. Ex: Mean boss gets fired. Sometimes it’s unrelated and just coincidence that it turns out how we think it “should”. Ex: Mean boss gets hit by a truck. But what if it was a Walmart truck and he’s not really hurt that bad but gets a huge cash settlement and now you get to hear about all his sweet vacations? It happens. Or what about when a nice boss gets hit by a truck? Or a toddler? How do you reconcile those?
Post # 18
I don’t believe in karma but I don’t enjoy when people get what is coming to them.
5 years ago I had a really rough break up. Thought he was the one and then it turned out he had been lying about a lot of things, gaslighting, had a secret twitter account where he complained about my family (and freaked out on me for “checking up on him” when I found it). It took me a long time to see all of this though so when I initially ended it (after he did a complete 180 about wanting kids) I was devasted and still hoped he would change his mind.
A good friend of mine helped me through it. She encouraged me to go no contact, talked me into signing up for tinder and then was my safety contact on my first tinder date. He did change his mind 4 months later and came begging for me back. When I said no he lost his shit and said he was going to start dating my friend then. Turned out they had been sleeping together ever since we split. She reached out to him on fb within days of me ending it and was already sleeping with him while walking me through the break up. She sent me an “apology” email but it was mostly about how she never thought of us as close enough friends for her to have to approach me about this. He actually told me that she was “providing him with a service” because I wouldn’t take him back. I found out a year or so later that she also went on a smear campaign at a local group we volunteer with to try and get me kicked out. Thankfully nobody bought it.
They dated for almost 2 years and were constantly showing up at parties of mutual friends, volunteering events and all over my facebook newsfeed even though I had them blocked. It was one of the most upsetting things I went through in life up until that point.
I don’t know why they broke up but they stayed friends after and I overheard her telling someone at a party that she would take him back in a second if he would have her.
Now she and I are both on a team for a fundraising group. I’m not as angry anymore and mostly feel nothing toward her. We don’t speak unless it relates to the group and when we do it is fine.
However, I now get to hear her talk about her dating life when chit chatting with other group members. She is 35 and single. She has stretched her age restrictions on tinder to the absolute max and has even gone on dates with 18 year olds. My SO is also very involved in the fundraising project so she has to see us together at least once a week. We plan on getting engaged in the next few weeks (just waiting for the ring to come in) and have started looking for a home to buy.
Life is not a competition but I can’t help but feel like a winner every time I am around her.
Post # 19
No I don’t, aside from a generality that if you consistently do shitty things you’re not likely to have good relationships with people, which makes it hard to be truly happy. Otherwise, I think the belief that “the universe” or some higher power is ensuring that bad people suffer is pretty self aborbed. Are poor starving children suffering for some karmic reason? Plus there are plenty of truly bad people (murderers, molesterers, people in power taking advantage of others, etc) who never suffer because they’re never found out or they escape punishment bc of a failing justice sytem, etc.
Post # 20
OP, I do not understand the concept of karma at all.
If A mistreats B, then eventually A will get his comeuppance handed to him/her down the road?
But then why was B mistreated? Was that mistreatment karma for something B did in the past in this life of another? Seems like it could really turn into a blame the victim mentality.
Plenty of good people have had things happen to them that they don’t deserve at all, so I don’t think it’s true that being a good person necessarily that good things will happen to you.
I had a doctor once, who was treating me for a chronic medical condition, suggest that I must be “paying” for something I did in a previous life. I thought he was kidding at first. He wasn’t.
Also, in describing your ex, you mention, as evidence of karma, that he is SINGLE. Why is being single such a terrible thing? Why do we attach a stigma to it?
Post # 21
I don’t believe in karma and even though I am a very conservative Christian, I don’t believe that God is the source of the good and bad in people’s lives either as the Bible says “it rains on the just and the unjust”-I only mention that because it has been brought up a few times in this thread. I won’t ever believe God had a hand in me losing baby or that I had some kind of injustice in my past that lead to my first husband’s affair. And really struggled to maintain any sense of decorum when dealing with people who told me, “well, that must have just been God’s plan for you.” No, please, go read a Bible before throwing my faith and my loss in my face that way. Sorry. Rant over.
I believe a lot of what I’m reading in the above comes from the concept of reaping/sowing. People who cheat, usually end up having sucky relationships because that is what they set themselves up to have. People who do shady stuff on the job, cheat, harrass, abuse, etc… I think many times it catches up with them as people wise up to who/what they are and that is when we see them lose jobs, opportunities, etc.
Just my $.02. I could be totally wrong and I’ve really enjoyed reading/learning other people’s interpretation of it.
Post # 22
- Wedding: June 2019 - Cortland, NY
I do not believe in karma. However, I do believe that if you get away with doing terrible things, you will CONTINUE to do those terrible things, and it will catch up with you and you will suffer.
Be kind humans, people.
Post # 23
sbl99 : I don’t believe in karma per se, but I do believe that in large part you get back from the universe what you put into it.
The universe is chaos so sometimes bad shit just happens that no one deserves and sometimes shitty people get a lot better than they deserve, but in general when it comes to your day to day life a lot of it really is getting back what you give.