(Closed) Do You Believe in Opposite Sex Friendship?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do You Think Friendship Between Opposite Sex Is Possible?
    It's Totally Possible! : (89 votes)
    64 %
    It's Possible until one makes a move - but it never happens! : (3 votes)
    2 %
    It's Possible until one makes a move - and it ALWAYS happens! : (6 votes)
    4 %
    The Guy always has ulterior motives : (4 votes)
    3 %
    The Girl always has anterior motives : (0 votes)
    It's possible as part of a group : (27 votes)
    20 %
    It is NOT possible! Ever! : (4 votes)
    3 %
    I am starting to think it isn't possible... : (3 votes)
    2 %
    Other! : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Yes for sure. Most of my friends are male and it’s completely platonic. That goes both ways, I know for sure they’re not secretly crushing on me or something lol.

    However, I do feel like there has to be more boundaries when it’s a friend of the opposite sex. For instance, I would never hang out with any of my male friends alone, always with a group.

    Also, if there is history between the friends and you (as in, you dated before) than that goes double. I would never let my Darling Husband hang out with his ex alone, even though I know nothing would happen. I just think that isn’t appropriate. I am friends with some of my exes though, so I know even that is possible.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    i do, i have guy friends that have been friends since high school.. and others for many years, theres been nothing intimate and i can tell them anything and me them. my Fiance has the same with a girl friend of his. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    9640 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Pssst . . . on your poll . . . the word I think you’re meaning to use is “ulterior.” (Not “anterior”).

    Post # 6
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Absolutely. While my BFFs are a few girls I’ve known for decades, I’ve always found it really easy to make friends with guys. There’s no same-sex competition/cattiness there. As long as respectful boundaries are in place it’s not a difficult thing at all.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Funny, just read articles and wrote a paper about this. There are different forms of attraction, and if one person in the cross-sex friendship is expecting more and is attracted sexually…it will never work. Also, research shows that after marriage a lot of people drop their opposite sex friendships…which makes me wonder about the nature of all cross-sex friendships if they usually don’t survive when someone enters a serious relationship. Personally, I think they can work in groups. I have four close male friends that are married and are part of our “group.”

    Post # 8
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @Sunfire:  Bahaha…didn’t notice that at first. That is hilarious!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2708 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You can absolutely have friends of the opposite sex.  I’m an engineer so most of my friends are male and it’s not a big deal at all.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Absolutely- my SO has the same amount of girls that are friends as he does guys and many of them are super attractive but i know they are just friends! I would never imagine in my wildest dreams either one of us telling eachother we cant be friends with the opposite sex, basically saying “okay I’m cutting you off from getting to know and becoming friends with 50% of the world now” I think that is a sign of a couple who has ALOT of growing up to do…

    Post # 11
    Member
    9640 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I believe it’s completely possible to have friends of either sex.  I agree with PP’s that there should be clear-cut and healthy boundaries when one is in a committed relationship. 

    I have a male “friend” that I’ve had to distance myself from because he started to forget that I am:  Engaged.  In love.  Not a cheater.  He pushed a little too far with the flirting one time, so now he’s relegated back to the “distant” friend range.  But obviously not all guys will do that.  As long as they keep their motives clean, and hands off, I’m fine with having male friends.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9640 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Minutiae:  Smile  I’m a spelling/grammar freak, what can I say?

    Post # 14
    Member
    1061 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I have male friends, but they are almost all from pre-DH and nothing sexual has every happened with any of them.  Most of them are from law school and are as much collegues as they are friends.  Additionally, Darling Husband has met all of them and is comfortable with the friendships.

    We will go out for lunch or dinner alone, but mostly because we talk a lot of shop and gossip about people Darling Husband doesn’t know, so he would just be bored!

    If he ever expressed concern about any of these friendships, I would end them or change the terms of how I socialize with them, no questions asked.

    I think Darling Husband would be uncomfortable if I developed a random new friendship with someone that I didn’t share a professional connection with.

    Post # 15
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Jamcnair:  That video says it all..hilarious!

    Post # 16
    Member
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I have male friends but they are people that my H and I are both friends with.  I don’t have any male friends that I hang out with one-on-one or that H isn’t friends with as well. I think it’s fine, but I just don’t happen to have any.

    The topic ‘Do You Believe in Opposite Sex Friendship?’ is closed to new replies.

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