Post # 16
I certainly think that women are more fluid than men but whether that is inate or simply due to societal norms is unclear.
I do think that there is a difference between the SEXuality scale and the, for lack of a better term “relationship” scale.
I think women are very likely to be towards the center of the Sexuality scale and are much more likely to have sexual experiences with other women. However, I think that when it comes to relationships, most people (male and female) are more binary. So even though a woman is very likely to have a sexual experience with another woman, there is a low chance that she would actually want to pursue a romantic relationship with a woman.
It’s all very interesting.
Post # 17
What is valued in most modern societies? Masculinity over femininity. (Not men, necessarily, but mascunlinity.)
What is seen as masculine in most modern societies? Sexual attraction to and objectification of women.
What is seen as feminine (and therefore bad) in most societies? Sex with men.
When a man is attracted to another man, people get upset because he is behaving in a feminine manner. When a woman is attracted to another woman, it’s more acceptable, because at least she’s emulating something better than herself. (And her lower status makes it less upsetting when she behaves outside the norm.)
Additionally you have the way women are portrayed in media as sexual objects, and we’re exposed to that basically since birth through magazines, TV, games, billboards, etc. etc. etc. Women are presented as sexual objects so much and with such force that is it really that surprising that even other (straight?) women might, shall we say, voluntarily taste what they’ve been endlessly force-fed?
Yes, I think women’s sexualities are more fluid, but I think it’s social, not inherent.
Post # 18
I think it’s definitely on a spectrum for both, but as others stated, socially encouraged versus socially frowned upon for women vs men. I think men that are anywhere in the middle- straight side of the spectrum just stuff that feeling down and commit to being “straight.”
I think about the older men who have been married for 20, 30 years and then start having affairs with men. I don’t believe they’re all 100% gay because of that, they just may have turned off that side of them for a good portion of their life and are now ready to fulfill it.
Also, it should also be considered that we are constantly exposed to the female body as the symbol of sexuality, in a way brainwashing men and women alike to view females as potential partners. It’s not nearly as often that the man is sexualized, and when he is, it’s in a more straight forward and obvious way. Those images we see on commercials, tv shows, movies, magazines, etc., they DO leave impressions.
Post # 19
Jennybee224: there are also men in certain cultures and prison who don’t believe they are gay if they are tops, that only bottoms are gay. they believe it is a power play.
Post # 20
Ι think I agree with what you girls say. I don’t know if it is inherent ( how can one prove that anyway?) but what is inherent is a woman’s affection towards other women and the level of comfort she has on being around other women. That helped social norms to make it more ok for women to admire other women. And since sexuality is already built around the female body is even easier.
I know guys doubt that very much. I used to tell my ex that guys are afraid to do that and he always said that it is not about being afraid but about having that tendency. He said that you hear women saying all the time that they would sleep with a female celebrity but never guys saying that they would sleep with Tom Cruise. That’s mostly nature not society according to him..
Ι guess it is just a very interesting and hopeless debate that will go on forever.
Post # 21
Is this why I don’t like being friendly with girls because there’s too much emotionality? I don’t like getting close. I don’t really feel comfortable seeing a girl who is nude especially completely I need to look away. I do find females sexually repulsive but I generally am not attracted to masculinity either. I’m attracted to parts and gender expression doesn’t matter to me that’s just my sexuality. I really could never see myself making out with a girl. And even when I watch porn it has to be male oriented or people with male parts. I don’t like straight porn. The way my sexuality is I’ve wondered maybe that’s because I’m not that womanly. Like I’m not that feminine and question my gender identity most of the time. But sexuality has always been pretty male oriented. But might be because my mind isn’t that feminine To begin with?
Post # 22
Jennybee224: I know this is an old thread, but thought I’d chime in…
All I can say is, both my husband and I identify as 100% straight on the ‘sexuality scale’. The thought of being with another woman is repulsive to me. I have never ‘fantasised’ and never wanted to kiss another girl. Same for my husband with another guy.
I also don’t feel comfortable being naked around other girls, and I would never slap my girl friend’s butt lol. I like looking at the female form, although it’s more from an admiration point of view than that of desire. As in, “gawd I wanna look like that”.
Sexuality in general as a society is fluid, there are many people who are straight and bi and gay and somewhere in between. But there are definitely those of us for whom sexuality is not fluid. I know this is something that won’t change depending on whether I ‘meet the right person’.
Post # 23
I try not to think about this too much because it makes my brain hurt. I prefer to have sex with men but I prefer to fantasize about women. I had sex with a woman once but it was a hookup and I didn’t really enjoy it. I did date a girl in college though for a month or so. It never got anywhere and I was unfortunately more into it than she was haha. Hmm… Oh, I also had a weekend fling with a woman a few years ago, right before I met Fiance. All we did was makeout though. I like women; I like how cute and pretty and curvy we are; sometimes I wish I had gotten to date a girl, like, have a real relationship, but I do prefer men and I come from a super religious family so it never seemed worth it to risk it. Plus I might not have met my Fiance then and that would have sucked. I guess I’m bi, but more on the straight side of bi? Idk, stop asking tough questions. I’m going to go re-watch Orange is the New Black now….. heehee.
shazzshazshz: You are a lucky duck. I like it when things fit into neat categories. I was frusterated for a long time when I couldn’t put myself in one. I thought I was going to hell for a while there (thanks family) for thinking about girls “like that”. Thankfully, I’m over it now haha.
Post # 24
Kinsey studied this topic in depth. He found that about 37% of men had reached orgasm with another man at some point in their lives. While 13% of women had reached orgasm with another woman.
If that statistic is true, I’d say that men are actually more likely to be bisexual than women. The only reason women are more open to experimenting is it’s better accepted in our society.
I actually am truly straight. I hate the way women smell, so experimenting was never an option for me. If women are curious, then go ahead and experiment (or be a lesbian). What I despise seeing is women who hook up with other women just to turn men on. That’s pathetic.