I didn’t get married until I was 47 years old.
I had “fallen in love” (or so I thought at the time) many, many times when I was younger. I dated a number of guys and had several longer-term relationships of two or more years each. I was even engaged once before Darling Husband to an absolutely wonderful, sweet, very special guy.
However, I ultimately realized that, in my case, it didn’t matter who I may have thought I loved or wanted to marry or who may have relentlessly pursued me or wanted to marry me (there were three others who told me that they wanted to marry me, but they were not “the one.”) In my case, I eventually became absolutely convinced that I needed to wait for the man God had chosen for me.
I had a very long wait — more than 15 years! — between the time I broke my engagement to my former Fiance when I was 30 and when I finally met my Darling Husband. However, I knew that I needed to wait for a certain type of man, and God began to make very clear to me the kind of virtues and traits that I really desired and needed to look for in a mate. At the same time, He was preparing me and teaching me to be the type of woman I needed to become so that I would be ready to BE the right person for my future husband.
I knew that I needed to marry a man who loves and is committed to God even more than he would love or be committed to me. I knew that I needed to marry someone to whom I could entrust my life and the lives of any potential future children, someone to whom I would be able and willing to submit according to the Biblical model for marriage found is Scripture (and that certainly ruled out a great many people! lol). I knew that I had to marry someone who would enhance — and not compete with — my relationship with God, who would enhance my well being, and would enhance my relationship with others, someone who would challenge me spiritually and in every other way to become more of the person God created me to be.
I also knew that I needed to marry a man who loves children, animals, and people in general and who has learned how to have healthy relationships with his family and friends, a man of deep character and integrity, and a man who is well educated and very intelligent, who is a strong communicator with both the spoken and written word, and who has an extremely strong sense of humor and who can make me laugh even in the midst of life’s greatest challenges.
And, of course, to top it all off, I had to find him incredibly attractive! 🙂
When I met my Darling Husband, he was the only man I had ever dated who met all of those criteria. I was, at times, scared out of my wits, because marrying my Darling Husband meant that I would have to relocate far away from my friends, my church, my job, my city and state, and all that had been familiar to me for the prior two-and-a-half decades of my adult life. However, I pressed through my fears and anxieties about how much my life was going to change, and I took the plunge! 🙂