(Closed) Do you bring DH to work functions? Should I?

posted 4 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If it’s immediately after work and at your office, I would say you probably don’t need to have your husband adventure out to join. I think it’s a bit odd they had +1’s for an after work, in office event. If it were a holiday party or some sort of gathering then I would say without question have him come. But, if it’s a casual after work event and you want to get to know your co-workers, I would have him stay home so you can do that. While it would be good to have him there if you do have some sort of social anxieties, this could be very good for you to not have to worry about entertaining him. 

Post # 3
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I would not be bringing him under those circumstances.

Post # 4
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
rusticchic212 :  maybe having him there would help you get to know your coworkers a little better, and give you someone to talk to should the coworkers not feel particularly social. 

I bring my DH to work events where it’s applicable. If it’s a +1 event or friends and family, yep, he’s there if he can make it (and if he wants to go…I don’t “expect” him to go to things for work because I realize they can be boring if you’re not an employee). 

I think this would be a great opportunity to loosen up and get to know your office mates and maybe diffuse some of your insecurity! Nothing like a DH/FI/BF to be a perfect security blanket. I say go for it.

Post # 5
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

Depends on the situation. I usually tell him about it and then let him decide if he wants to go. 

Post # 6
Member
4309 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It sounds like having him there might help you relax a bit?

Post # 7
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I wouldnt considering the hour communte, seems not needed for an event that sounds pretty casual? I would just explain and they should understand, then bring him for the christmas party or whatever later in the year. I understand having he security blanket of him but you are going to have future events he cant be at, might as well get to know co workers better in a more casual setting so you wont be worried later on. 

Post # 8
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If it’s a +1 event they are basically saying “and spouse”.  Bring him, it helps get to know co-workers on a personal level and you might get better aquatinted with them.  

Post # 10
Member
3324 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’d probably bring him. One of the things I really liked about my last workplace was that it was very ‘spouse friendly’. This one, not so much. I’ve only met 1 persons spouse, and she doesn’t even work here anymore. I don’t really like that, but IDK not much you can really do.

Post # 11
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My fi comes to work parties with me when his schedule permits.  He is self-employed and has a few of my colleagues as clients (and wouldn’t mind if more came to him).  I, on the other hand, HATE going to anything work/networking related for him.  I barely know people and don’t really love making small talk.  Everyone there assumes I’m riding on the coattails of my professionally successful fiancé which couldn’t be less the case as I am, in fact, the breadwinner at the moment.  He likes to walk around and work the room. So I usually show up late or leave early, staying just long enough to show my face and say hello to his established clients and the people we are friends with.

Post # 12
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

I tend not to take DH to work events. He comes to social events with colleagues who I’m actually friends with but there’s no way Id take him to any end of year thing or Christmas party. 

Post # 13
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I like bringing DH to work social events so he can see what my work life is like, and he’s always agreeable. However, if it was a huge hassle for him to attend, I would encourage him to keep doing what he’s doing and make his own plans.

For OP, I would tell him about the work event and see what he’d rather do. There’s no right or wrong answer. 

Post # 14
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
rusticchic212 :  In that situation, I would. I generally take my lead from everyone else: if partners are invited, my husband is invited. If partners are welcome but few or none come, then I don’t bother inviting DH.

In this case, your DH is happy to come, so why not? And if I was insecure (as you are), that’s extra reason to invite him.

Post # 15
Member
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

If my Fiance is able to make it to my work-related events and I am able to make it to his, we go. I have been with the same company for almost 5 years now; it’s a very small office (my boss, me, another full timer and the boss’s wife who works part time) so our SOs are always welcome. My Fiance has recently moved to a new company and really wants me to come to the next event so that I can meet his new bosses (they knew his dad, who sadly passed away last year).

If this is the company’s annual party, I’d say bring your DH along. The plus is that you’ll have someone to talk to no matter what.

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