(Closed) Do you bring your kids to a wedding?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@ldyparadox99: I agree!  Haha…I know there will be people who just don’t GET it, even if you make it blatantly clear!  I was going to try to do something like this – for a family of 3 for example:

We have reserved 3 seats in your honor.

Mr. Man _ graciously accepts _ respectfully declines

Mrs. Woman _ graciously accepts _ respectfully declines

Miss Child _ graciously accepts _ respectfully declines

If your name isn’t there you are not invited.  If there is no spot to put a guest, again not invited.  I realize some people will STILL not understand, but hopefully some people that otherwise wouldn’t understand will.  One can only hope.

Post # 18
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You’re correct, you and your spouse are the ones who are invited. How do you know that others are bringing their children? If it is through the couple themselves and they seem happy about it and say it’s too bad your children weren’t able to attend, then you should clarify with them.

Post # 19
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m so glad that our families are not ages where young children are around so I don’t have to deal with everyone wanting to bring their kids! We only have two under 18 year olds in the family currently: a 10 year old cousin and a 15 year old cousin with autism. We decided to include both of them because the autistic cousin should stay with his parents and not be left home, the other cousin is to my uncle and aunt who I want at the wedding no matter what, so I was willing to accept my cousin coming along.

I hope she doesn’t make a spectacle during the ceremony, (when I first got engaged she told me that she is my flower girl, she has a bit of spunk, haha!) but we’ll see!

Post # 20
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ve never understood bringing kids to a wedding…I just can’t see them truly enjoying themselves.  Sure they may have a good time, but 9 out of 10 times, they’d have uch MORE fun playing at home.  Once I have kids, even if they ARE invited, unless I need to travel overnight for it I won’t be bringing my kids to a wedding.  I want to have regular “date nights” with my hubby, so a wedding can just be one of those. 

Post # 21
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hmmm, we aren’t having many kids at our reception. We will have just two since one is a junior bridesmaid and her brother will come as well if he wants. I know people have asked to bring their kids to the wedding so they can see what goes on but then have brought their kids home before the reception. If it was out of town family like my cousins bringing their kids I wouldn’t say anything but for people that are close then I would call them up and inform them that there will and adult only reception or limited kids.

Post # 22
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I strongly disagree that it is “rude” to put things like adults only on invitations. Yes- 20 years ago, when people actually knew about etiquette, this might have been true. But in those days, you didn’t have to worry about babies and toddlers showing up univited to weddings because people didn’t bring their kids everywhere like they do now. 

I don’t think a lot of people understand subtle hints like not writing “family” on the outside envelope. Also, there are many times where you won’t know that someone is planning on bringing their baby because they don’t list them on the reply since they aren’t eating a meal. I wanted to avoid any confusion and awkward phone calls- this is what we put on the details card. I copied it from someone else because I thought it sounded very tasteful:

Our reception will be formal and we have planned what we hope will be a very enjoyable adult-only event. We realize some of you may need to make special arrangements, and we appreciate your understanding.

 

 

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