(Closed) Do you care what your mom or FMIL wears?

posted 9 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do you care what they wear?

    Nope, they can wear whatever they choose.

    They just cant wear any shade of white.

    They cant wear white and they must follow the color scheme.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I told both moms “this is the color scheme, wear what you want”.  I didn’t expect them to match or compliment the color scheme at all, BUT, I mentioned it to my mom since she’s a fan of bright and pastel colored clothes and I wanted to make her aware that everyone else would be wearing black/jewel tones, so it was her preogative how much she wanted to stand out from that.  She ended up with a black dress, Mother-In-Law ended up with red (same color her son/the groom was wearing) and they both looked great!

    Post # 18
    Member
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I don’t care as long as they feel beautiful and happy. I don’t even care if they wear white. I don’t think anyone is going to be confused about who the bride is!

    I will probably ask about colors ahead of time because I’m planning on knitting corsages for them. And I will probably go shopping with my mom, because I shop with her a lot and she always wants my input on clothes because she doesn’t really care about fashion. She will probably end up wearing pants, because thats what she’s comfortable in.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t care what my mother wears – I just want her to feel great in it! But then again, she would never dare to wear white. Or black.

    Post # 20
    Member
    5974 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Nope I don’t really care. Future Mother-In-Law sent me pictures of everything she tried on which was nice, but I didn’t ask for them. My mom hasn’t even picked out an outfit yet!

    Post # 21
    Member
    2674 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Future Mother-In-Law is mad at me for not giving her and my mom more direction. I said “I prefer no white, extremely light pastels or black. The bridesmaids will be in long gowns so it would probably be better if they wear long dresses.” Future Mother-In-Law read that my mom has to pick first and has gotten yelled at by consultants at salons because my mom hasn’t picked her dress yet so she hasn’t picked a color. She is also worried my mom will wear blush (my dress is blush/champagne/ivory depending on the lighting). My mom has seen my dress and might wear light pink, but she won’t wear something that is as pale as my dress. And if she does, oh well. I really don’t care. I don’t mind going with them but they’re several states away so that isn’t really an option. My mom is planning on buying something off the rack and I’m sure it will be fine. She told Future Mother-In-Law to just get a dress she likes and not to worry about the color or who the first one to pick is. I don’t understand why Future Mother-In-Law is upset when I gave her so many options. I feel like it would have been much harder if I had said “get a red floor length dress with sequins” or something else equally specific. Honestly there has been more drama about their dresses than picking anything else in the wedding. Supposedly they are going to go shopping which will be interesting. They can both easily afford expensive ($500-$1000) dresses, but I’m pretty sure my mom is looking for something around $100-$200 and Future Mother-In-Law is looking for something from $500-$700 (my dress was $500). And I suspect that will make picking stores tricky and cause judgement from both sides. I could be wrong though. They might end up finding dresses they both like and then I won’t have to hear about it anymore 😛

    Post # 22
    Member
    536 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @mrsSonthebeach:  I’ve never heard that saying, but funny enough my mom and Mother-In-Law both wore shades of beige/gold because that was part of our color palette. I guess we fit the tradition without meaning to!

    I allowed the moms/grandmas to pick out whatever they wanted and suggested the palette, also asked them not to match the bridesmaids (my mom really wanted to). I found that in general, people really want you to help them to decide what to wear/how to look for the wedding – the moms wanted to know what colors/styles, the bridesmaids wanted to know what hairstyles, even a few guests asked for my advice as to what to wear. I tried as much as possible to let people do what they want but in the end, I found my mom and Mother-In-Law were more stressed picking something out and worrying if I would like it than if I had just picked something for them and told them to wear. But then again, maybe they’d complain if I was TOO controlling. You can’t win sometimes!

    Post # 23
    Member
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @allyfally:  I would care.  If I see that my mom is wearing something that is unflattering to her figure, I would definitely tell her.  Or if her make up is totally off and she is looking like a clown I would care.  I know if I was wearing something tore up I would want people to tell me.

     

    Just like how some Bees ask on here if their dress looks nice on them or if it flatters their figure or how they need help figuring out what dress to choose, we all give our opinions so I see nothing wrong if other bees care what their Mom or Future Mother-In-Law wear.  On the other hand, I wouldn’t FORCE them to wear something super uncomfortable that I choose.  But I would definitely give my opinion on whether it looks nice on them or not.

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Not in the slightest…my mom said she’d wear black but didn’t give details.  Our bridal party will be in black and I am wearing some black accents.  Future Mother-In-Law said she might wear salmon or peach…so she’ll def stand out if she does…but it’s only because of this thread that I’m actually thinking about it.  So many other things to worry about lol.

    Post # 25
    Member
    2748 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    As long as Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t wear what she wore to her daughter’s reception I’ll be happy. She wore black slacks and a rather frumpy beige sweater which would not be appropriate for our outdoor summer garden party wedding. I’m hoping that she will at least wear a dress and I’m sure my mother will be consulting me (she already pinned a bunch of dresses on pintrest) and it will be appropriate.

    Post # 26
    Member
    5974 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @asscherlover:  this sounds exactly like me! Future Mother-In-Law wanted more direction from me about dresses but I just didn’t care too much (outside of white or black). She also wanted to start shopping super early and my mom is waiting (she hates dresses- told her she doesn’t need a dress but she insists) and kept asking my mom about color and what she was doing.

    Post # 27
    Member
    7225 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    They can wear whatever the hell they want. Want to wear white? I don’t care. Want to wear a long gown? I don’t care.

    Post # 28
    Hostess
    4996 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I didn’t care about what they wore. They’re capable of choosing their own clothes. They looked great! 

    Post # 29
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I agree with the majority here that it doesn’t matter what the mothers wear. For that matter, I don’t think it matters what anyone wears. I actually find it a bit confusing that SO MANY people here agree that “as long as they’re comfortable”, “they’re adults and can dress themselves”, “wow, you’re really so demanding that you’ll REQUIRE the moms / friends / fathers / whomever wear a certain color”, but the same idea doesn’t seem to apply to guests who wear white. When that happens, there’s uproar and “tacky” and “classless” and “I’d kick her out!” get thrown about. I get that we all have a picture in our heads, and we have things that we ourselves absolutely would not do (wear puke green or a long white dress or a live parrot on our shoulders), but how can one be okay while the other is so very, very wrong? 

    And in that same vein, why is it okay for a bride to lose her mind if someone intends to wear / shows up in white, but being so completely particular about every other piece of wardrobe is NOT okay? 

    Why is etiquette touted and ignored in the same sentence? I’m so confused!

     

    Post # 30
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I originally went shopping with my mom and she chose a black dress which looks amazing on her. Future Mother-In-Law threw a fit because “black is NOT acceptable at a wedding” well.. apparently it is at mine. Then I went shopping with one grandma and she tried for a very long time to convince me that she was supposed to wear the same color as the bridesmaids (wine). I told her even if that’s “traditional” (which that’s the first i’ve ever heard that), I don’t want her to have a different shade and it just looks dumb. lol. So.. get whatever color. My other grandma had no problem choosing a dress. I told her to pick whatever made her feel good and she chose the first dress that made her feel like a “hot grandma” (oh dear god I love that woman hahah!) and that’s navy.. I just want everyone to wear what they want and what they will be comfortable in.

    Post # 31
    Member
    6263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    They both can wear whatever they want. 

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