Post # 1
So… do you celebrate other people’s anniversaries?
Say it’s your parent’s anniversary? Do you celebrate it? I don’t mean a card and gift… do you actually have a family get together to celebrate it?
Here’s our scenario:
Coming up is his parent’s 31st anniversary. Last year we did a big dinner out because of their 30th. But now MIL is saying we have to also have a get together this year… and every year… for their anniversary. We are getting together two weeks prior for their birthdays. DH texted her suggested we roll it all into one day (he’s working mandatory OT right now… weekend time is limited). She responded with “NO.”
I ask because my family is not like this. In my family, we celebrate our anniversaries as couples. Sure we may say “Happy anniversary!” with a card… but we go out as a couple. My parents take trips or go on a date for theirs.
I’m just trying to figure out if this is normal… Do any other families do this every single year? Not to mention, we have no desire to celebrate our anniversary with his parents… lol.
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Nope. I can understand milestone anniversaries (like the 30th), but every anniversary? Nope!
Post # 3
- Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC
Jw1724: Only my parents and only special ones like 25th, the next one will be there 50th in 14 years. I don’t even give them a gift on their anniversary. Just like I would not expect gifts from them on mine.
Post # 4
Jw1724: Just the milestones and then I send a card every year to my parents.
Post # 5
Nope. Nobody in my family celebrates them. We don’t even have vow renewals. My parents are having their 36th anniversary this year and they’ve never done anything except maybe between the 2 of them.
Post # 6
Fi usually calls his parents on their anniversary or at least within a week or two when he remembers it’s their anniversary (lol) but that’s it.
Post # 7
We don’t do things for siblings’ anniversaries except send well wishes. Our parents are a bit different because they are near holidays- his parents’ anniversary is New Year’s Day, so we’ll often just go over to their house and his mom has made dinner or ordered some take out for everyone. It’s super low key and we typically play board games or something all together. It’s not mandatory, but kind of a tradition now. My parents’ anniversary is around Memorial Day, so someone has a cookout on my side has a cookout and we get together that way. Again, not mandatory, but just nice. It’s weird that your MIL is being so demanding about this. I think your DH will be able to tell her it’s not happening by explaining the overtime thing. She’ll have to get over it.
Post # 8
Not really. We celebrate the big ones. We would celebrate my grandparents anniversaries together. They liked taking the whole family out for dinner. Plus, as they got older and my grandfather got sick, you never knew if it would be the last anniversary that you would celebrate. We took advantage of any opportunity/excuse we all had to get together.
Post # 9
I think my sister and I have always celebrated our parents’ anniversary with them. So some people do it!
Post # 10
LMD: Tanleggedjuliet: RedHeadKel: gelaine22: Horseradish: ruby26: futuremrscrowe: Thank you for all the replies! We’re dealing with quite a situation. MIL is very manipulative… DH sees it, but I don’t think has fully accepted it. MIL has been texting him at work, long lecturing texts about the importance of family etc. DH basically said he is demanding a family meeting due to this happening now, and in the past with other situations. He told me he is “out of the family” if this does not stop… which I think was just an emotional response at the time. But we struggle a lot with her.
MIL has been posting passive aggressive quotes very obviously directed at us and DH’s brother. BIL in on the same page with us but also accepts that his mother is crazy and doesn’t feel a need to react… he just creates boundaries and says no. DH isn’t quite there yet… still believes he can fix it.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens
I voted yes before reading your post . . . In your situation I’d say no. I voted yes because my husband and I got married this summer one day before his brother and sister-in-law’s one year anniversary, and we are planning to celebrate all together every year.
Post # 12
Jw1724: When my FIL was alive, we would celebrate with them if we were in the area (we live several states away), otherwise we’d just send a card and call. My parents never celebrated their anniversary and ended up divorced, so it just wasn’t a “thing.”
Post # 13
We get together to celebrate milestones but most years we just send a card and call.
Post # 14
No, I don’t even give cards. Their anniversaries are their business, IMO.
My mom makes a big deal about her parents’ anniversary, and sends a card for my sister’s, but personally, I think it is silly.
Post # 15
Jw1724: No way. Your MIL is taking it too far. 30th anniversary or other milestones…absolutely! But every year having to get together? Forget it. She sounds like she’s very important to herself.