(Closed) Do you consider lateness to be rude?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: When you are meeting up with someone, you usually...

    Show up right on time!

    Show up early

    Show up late

    Don't show up at all (because you're mean)

  • Post # 92
    Member
    680 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @RunsWithBears:  Yeah prioritising is a big part of time management. Maybe even try setting the clocks in your house for later so you think you’re late and start getting a move on! But then I saw when you are late you start panicing and become less efficient so you’re right it is a vicious cycle! I guess it will just take time to break the habit, practice makes perfect, good luck!!

    Post # 93
    Member
    1349 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2019

    It makes me very upset when other people are late.

    But to be fair if it’s me that’s running behind I hyperventilate, lol. I’m always 15 minutes early or right on time. I even have my car clock set 12 minutes fast so I can give myself some buffer time in case I do hit every red light or get stuck in traffic because some chickens escaped from a Tyson truck (yes, this happened).

    I mean, I’m pretty reasonable though. I can understand if you had another appointment that ran over or if something bad happened, but if you just waltz in late for no reason? No way. I will not take that crap, because to me that says that my time is not important.

    Post # 95
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    View original reply
    @MsBlackberry:  I have a friend like that, and it only got worse after she had her first child.  We had reservations for brunch at a restaurant, there were 6 of us- some drove over 2 hours to be there (it was a special occasion).  It was a Saturday morning and our larger party took up the tables at the brunch restaurant WAAY longer than we should have.  She was over 2 hours late… I get you have a baby now, but seriously?! TWO HOURS?!  

    Post # 96
    Member
    578 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  Lateness bothers me! I can tolerate waiting 10mins if there is traffic or something unexpected occurs, but I’ve always been the person that leaves home to arrive 10-15mins early just in case if something does happen along the way.

    Post # 97
    Member
    1004 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I am NOT a chronically late person, but I am one of those easygoing types that doesn’t stress about always being early for fear of being a minute or two late. Sometimes this catches up with me, and since moving to a place where traffic is unpredictable, and getting dirty looks from one professor and a speech about punctuality to the class (as I walked in the door 2 mintues late),  I always try to be 5-10 minutes early now to professional meetings/classes, etc. With friends? If I’m 5 minutes late, I don’t stress, and would be annoyed if they said something for that small amount of time. 

     

    I undestand that adopting the “if you’re not early, you’re late!” attitudes make me seem more responsible, but I secretly HATE people who give other people shit about a few minutes… under 5 minutes, and it could just be a difference of a slow or fast clock!

     

    I also understand that I can’t let kids slide by coming to class a minute or two late when I’m a teacher… because they will start coming later and later and expecting no consequences. If I were a professor, I might be a little more lenient. Who knows? Maybe teaching will make me care more about punctuality in general, when my precious class time is wasted!

     

    I have a coworker (supervisor) who gives everyone a hard time if they are not early every single time they clock in, by at least a few minutes. She is annoying as hell! God help you if clock in one minute late, she will be all over your ass before you are even on the clock! That’s overkill… we are all adults, and only one of our coworkers is chronically late. Everyone else slips up occasionally, but I don’t see that as a reason to bite their heads off!

    Post # 98
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Biggest pet peeve!!! I’m early everywhere

    Post # 99
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    SO. EFFING. RUDE. I have ZERO tolerance for someone wasting my time. I’m busy too, but I budget my time carefully and pay close attention to traffic patterns. If I think there is a chance I might be cutting it close, I skip that second coat of mascara and LEAVE. I’m always at a minimum 5-10 minutes early for everything. I live by the motto “if you’re on time, you’re late!”

     

    My mom and I are both “go,go,go” type people, and my stepdad and sister are soooo NOT! Mom and I learned early that in order to keep our sanity and not kill our loved ones, that we need to drive in one car and they take another. Might seem like overkill but unless we are going on a looong ride, we hop in the car and go. We are the “table getters” and “seat savers” of the family lol.

    Post # 100
    Member
    594 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    View original reply
    @Nona99:  I actually did this once! My sister is horribly, chronically late, so one day I left. She never let me know she was late, I never let her know I was leaving. That was years ago and I have never had to do it again. Now she is on time.

    Post # 101
    Member
    1004 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Oh, I should add that if you are a parent/future parent who is chronically late… please, for the love of god, try to at least get your children where they need to be on time.

     

     

     

    I was disliked by my dance teacher, as well as one of my band teachers, because my mother could. not. leave. on. time. EVER! I don’t think anyone believed that it was my MOTHER, not me, the teenager, making me late to rehearsals!

     

     

     

    I remember once in elementary school the principal stopping us in the hall (my mother walked in to sign me in late), and lecturing 4th grade ME for being tardy too often, when it was my MOTHER who could not manage time and often my (multiple, younger) siblings made us late as well!I was sooooo embarrassed, but was afraid to say that it was my mom’s fault.

     

    I remember begging, and even crying a few times, to try to get my mother to leave the house before we were late. I couldn’t drive myself! Getting my license was the best day ever because of this fact.

     

     

     

     

    Post # 102
    Member
    535 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Regardless of whether it’s your intention, chronic lateness sends a message that you consider your time to be more important than everyone else’s. If we have a meeting at 2 and you don’t show up until 2:30, I’m leaving.

     

    And for those of you who argue that you’re on time for work but can’t do so for friends, why not? To me that’s even more disrespectful. It shows you are capable, but just don’t care to put forth the effort.

     

    Those of you who are bothered by lateness, you’ll never get some people to understand the reason it’s wrong. They’ll continue to say you’re being unreasonable and stuck up. To them, the rest of the world should revolve around their schedule and we should be honored they chose to grace us with their presence.

     

     

    Post # 103
    Member
    6354 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Yes, it is rude, especially if the person can manage to be on time for other people/things, however, if the person is generally very considerate and yet often late (and seems upset that they are late), I will consider whether they might have a problem such as ADHD that’s causing it, rather than it being something they can control.

    I’d raise the issue to get to the bottom of the lateness if there were any doubt about the cause in my mind, but in a gentle way, at first.

    If the person tends to be more than 15 mins late, I may need to raise the issue over the phone, because after they’re ~15 mins late with no apologetic update, I feel that I’ve waited long enough, and unless I’m very comfortable and enjoying myself while I’m waiting (like at home or something), I’ll go.

    Post # 104
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    This whole time reading I was forgiving of the 5-10min chronically late people that were working on it. Now I’m reading that some of you have friends that are 20-30min late? ALL. THE. TIME? Really? I honestly don’t think I could handle that. I’d leave after 15 minutes. No lie. Especially since my goal arrival is 5min prior. UGH

    Post # 105
    Member
    4953 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I’m chronically early, so I’m used to waiting for people. If they’re late enough that I notice I’ve been waiting around for a while, then I get annoyed. But if you’re five minutes late, I probably won’t even notice.

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