(Closed) Do You Consider Yourself A Feminist?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Do You Consider Yourself A Feminist?

    Yep, I'm a Feminist

    I believe in equal rights and all, but I don't like the label.

    Not really.

    Not at all

  • Post # 227
    Member
    9179 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @jenilynevette:  I think you are simplifying the issue greatly. You need to unpack it and look at why women are underrepresented in those fields/jobs. Is it because growing up we are told that that is man’s work or women’s work? Is it because anytime a women does enter that field/job they are treated differently, bullied or their sexuality questioned? Is it because employerers have preconcieved notions that women can’t do that job so hire a less skilled male to the job instead?

    Feminism tackles all of these issues and trys to work out ways to change the social dynamic so that the careers counsellor in a high doesn’t try to redirect a student into a traditional gender specifc role. To change and challenge industry perceptions of what a builder, plumber, Mary Kay consultant looks like.

    Post # 228
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Yes I’m a feminist. 

    There has never been an all encompassing definition because it is a term and an idea that affects and is influenced and is interpreted by woman (and men) very differently depending not just on them as individuals but their age, their political views, their nationality, their cultural background. 

    My feminism is very different to that of my mum’s women’s lib generation because I was brought up on the inroads they made and so face different issue and a different time, our daughters will experience a different feminism to us because hopefully as a generation we will also make changes.

    “Feminism is the radical notion that woman are people” it is only the broad definitions like that, that can ever come close to summing up what exactly binds the all encompassing idea of feminism.

    I do think though that some issues are often labeled as feminist issues to diminish them in some way- the ever increasing serial world we live in is a feminist issue but it deeply effects men and so is a societal one ( as an example), issues about tape culture yes are deeply feminist issues but fundamentally need men involved in any sort of discussion about it.

    But there are also things that we can’t just say were solved in the 70s and just say thanks and that be it – pay, glass ceilings, maternity (and paternity) leave are all issues that still effect millions of women.

    Sexual violence is arguably one of the biggest issues in the world today and it has to be a feminist issue but effects every single person on the planet

    It isn’t about being sensationalist or something it is about a fundamental human right to be treated as a basic human being that isn’t based on a fluke of sex that could have gone either way.

    I doubt we will ever find an agreeable to all definition of feminism that pleases everyone but Over the last few years there has been the lessening of it being a “dirty word” or used as an insult which can only be a good thing.

     

    Post # 229
    Member
    3462 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Generally, I am not into socio-political labels. And I don’t dig people telling me what I believe. That said, this is what I believe about men and women in a nutshell:

    1. There is nothing wrong with Patriarchy. The system of the man being the head of the woman (having both authority AND responsibility) was designed by God and I have the utmost respect for it. Has it been abused by imperfect humans? Of course. But what hasn’t? I’m not turning my back on the social construct set forth by the creator because certain humans can’t do it right.

    2. Men are not inherently more intelligent or more capable than women. The Bible says this in many places. But, still, it was the man was who was designated to be in charge of the household, the congregation and society at large. This is not a problem for me. 

    3. I happily submit to my husband in all things. And I do it simply because he’s my husband (not because he’s smarter than me, or more capable). If I had a problem submitting to him, I would not have married him. 

    4. I do believe there is a good deal of truth to the idea that men are “wired” to be providers and women are “wired” to be nurturers. I would love to be fully taken care of so that I can more fully exercise what I believe is my true role in the family. However, the realities of life don’t permit that for me at this time. So I work. I would much prefer to be working because it’s what I love and it makes me feel fulfilled. Instead, I work in large part because I have to. I look forward to when this will not be the case. 

    5. I believe all people should be paid for all jobs according to their ability, seniority, education, or what-have-you.  I do not believe that gender (or race, or sexual orientation, or marital status, or country of origin) should be the sole factor in refusing to treat someone fairly and equitably.

    6. Voting is meaningless to me. [we can discuss this respectfully if anyone is interested, but I’m telling you right now, I’m ignoring any comments I consider disrespectful]

    7. I believe women can and should own property. Even in Bible times, women were able to inherit and purchase. 

    8. I do not think men and women are equal. God created us to be different. And that’s ok. Men and women are equally valuable in the eyes of God, but IMO pretending that we are exactly the same (when we are so obviously not) thwarts anyone’s argument.

    9. I do not think that anyone should exercise their right to do anything that would displease God (including kill an unborn child). However, even God acknowledges everyone’s right to choose their own path. He also notes that everyone will be judged separately according to their own deeds. So, will I ever have an abortion (even if my life depends on it)? No. Am I going to pretend that I think abortion (or fornication, or any other God-displeasing behavior) is ok in my book? No. Am I going to carry picket signs in front of the clinic? Again, no.

    Whether that makes me a feminist or not, it’s what I believe. I’m not going to soften my opinion (someone, I think it was peachacid above, said essentially that it’s cool to be quietly pro-life but not ok to be in favor of removing the choice for all women) to make it more palatable to others. And I certainly could not care less about “fitting in” with anyone. There was a disrespectful comment above about non-feminists need their head examined and IQ checked. If I were to say the same thing about atheists (oh honey, you probably believe in God, you just must not know what God really is. God is the one who allows to wake up every morning, God is the reason you’re allowed to hold your opinions blah, blah, blah…) I’d be stoned to death. Just wanted to throw that out there.

    Post # 230
    Member
    999 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @Overjoyed:  When you say you submit to your husband as he is the head of your household, what does the entail for you and your relationship?

    Post # 231
    Member
    3462 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

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    @ImaStarr:  Essentially it means that ultimately, he holds 51% of the authority as well as 51% of the responsibility. In the event that he makes a decision with which I don’t agree, he holds 100% of the responsibility for the consequences of that decision. We discuss everything, we are respectful of each other’s opinions, we split household chores equitably and work together for the advancement of our household. But for us, we acknowledge that in the event we are at an impasse about something important, somebody’s decision will eventually have to win out. That is, not everything can be compromise, sometimes it’s simply a zero sum. We have decided that when that happens, the final decision will be his and he will, in turn, be accountable for the outcome of that decision.

    Also, he is responsible to take the lead in spiritual matters as God holds him accountable for being a good leader and a strong head. The bible says that men who dishonor their wives cannot have a good standing before God. 

    I’m not oppressed or undervalued. My husband goes far out of his way to make me happy. And he is the most respectful man I have ever known.

     

    Post # 232
    Member
    1065 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Of course. I am deeply, deeply feminist. It ties into my spirituality and how I see my world. I am anti-kyriarchy. Liberal feminism – the whole, “any choice a woman makes is feminist and just strive for that capitalist dream!” is not really my feminism. To be feminist you have to be against all forms of discrimination and understand matrices of domination. It means re-programming and re-educating ourselves to face the sexism and racism and classism and ableism etc. that is within all of us.

    Global Capitalist Patriarchy is all about dominating others to gain, grasping for more, and killing to come out on top.

    A truly feminist world would be one where everyone had their basic needs met, violence is minimal, sex is shame-free and safe and *never* mixed with violence, we do not over-work the earth, animals, or other people, and we live rich, deep lives and have healthy, respectful relationships.

    And the only way I’ll get anywhere near that in my own life is starting with myself and where I live. And I fail everyday haha! But I do believe it’s possible. 

    Post # 233
    Member
    1065 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

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    @jenilynevette:  Those are called “pink collar” jobs and you’re right, there are SOOOO many reasons why women are in those jobs, while dangerous, manual labor jobs tend to be dominated by men.

    However, we can’t forget that many dangerous labor jobs are *union* jobs and women were actively excluded from union jobs, again, for many reasons.

    Also, we need to keep our perspective global. From research I’ve seen, I’d venture to guess that, worldwide, women do just as much dangerous work as men do, if not more. 

    Post # 234
    Member
    2639 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    @SoobySays:  As an art student who wrote and produced her thesis show about modern feminism, I still really hate the word and the implications associated with it for many people (such as burning bras, being a bitch just to be “feminist”, etc).

    Post # 235
    Member
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @SoobySays:  It’s a disturbing label because there is no singular definition of what it is to be a feminist. There are many many feminists I disagree with. They are hateful, sexist, and misandric. I identify with the humanist label; I believe in equality in all regardless of divisive characteristics like gender. 

     

    Post # 237
    Member
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

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    @Overjoyed:  This makes me a little uncomfortable. The man is not the natural head of the family any more so than the woman’s “natural” place is in the kitchen. Watch your use of that word; it is usually the signifier of ideology.

    Post # 238
    Member
    3277 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    How much choice does a woman with no income of her own really have? 

    I think feminism was meant to empower women and teach them that they can be more than SAHMs. I volunteered at an abused women’s shelter and saw what happened to women who gave up their careers. Power corrupted their husbands and they began to beat these poor women. The husbands felt that their wives couldn’t get away. That experience made a huge impression on me. I know that power can corrupt anyone and not just men. 

    I am not a feminist. With rights come certain responsibilities. Too many women call themselves feminists and then expect men to pay for them on dates. If a woman wants to be equal, she needs to be prepared to completely embrace traditionally male roles. We cannot have it both ways.  

    I used to be a misandrist when I was younger. I hated men because I had been abused and deceived by some of them. I also grew up with a doormat mother who tolerated EVERYTHING from my father. I thought all men were pigs who just wanted to enslave women. I was totally against marriage and I used to berate women who chose to be SAHMs. What a militant little sod I was! It was awful and I’m so glad I grew out of that stuff. I was just as bad as a racist. 

    While I still have severe trust issues with men, I know that not all of them are terrible. My husband doesn’t sit around and expect me to serve him like a king. I cook, clean and wash because he treats me well. I also know that his love language is Acts of Service, so having dinner ready for my husband makes him feel loved. It isn’t because my husband thinks that is my job. We share housework.

    When we have a decision to make, we discuss it and my husband usually makes the final choice. I respect him enough to submit to him whenever I think it makes sense. I do not take him to task on every little issue or initiate constant power struggles. My husband also submits to my opinions because he respects me. We are the perfect balance between traditional and modern. 

    Post # 239
    Member
    11528 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I believe that God created men and women differently and that he has designed us to fulfill different spiritual roles (especially within a marriage relationship) but that we are of equal worth and value  in His eyes, and that we have equal worth and value to society.

    I also believe that women and men who possess the same capabilities and qualifications absolutely should earn the same amount of money for doing the same job.

    However, I personally would not choose to affiliate myself with the feminist label, because there are beliefs that most feminists hold with which I could not agree. Likewise, due to my faith, there are beliefs that I hold with which most feminists would not agree.

    Post # 240
    Member
    3462 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

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    @VictoriaK1990:  yes, Christian ideology. Im aware of what my word use signifies and Im proud of it. Im sorry my beliefs make you uncomfortable. If you don’t subscribe to the same biblical ideology, I can see why you disagree with me. And that’s ok.

    Post # 241
    Member
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @mrspinesol:  “I am not. I could be a little jaded by the “feminists” that I’m surrounded by on campus, but I find the whole thing to be terribly annoying. I understand that everyone is different, and not all feminists subscribe to the stereotypical “feminist” personality, but the ones that do (again, like the ones I’m surrounded by), I can’t even handle. It drives me insane, and if I see or hear the word “feminist” I usually turn the other way as quickly as possible. 

    Just fyi, I obviously believe in equality for men and women (what woman wouldn’t?), but I won’t ever associate myself with the whole culture of it.”

    +1,000.

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