(Closed) Do you "cover your plate" when you attend weddings?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Do you "cover your plate" when you attend weddings?
    Yes : (74 votes)
    39 %
    No : (116 votes)
    61 %
  • Post # 3
    3082 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @MrsBeck:  I usually try to, or to get close at the very least. 

    Post # 4
    208 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Until I started my own wedding planning I had no idea how much wedding costs, so I would have no idea how much to give to cover my plate. Also, the past few weddings I’ve been to I went while I was in college aka broke so I would try to buy something around $50 in the registry.

    Post # 5
    1916 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I think this is more of a Northeastern thing.  I give a gift without considering whether I am covering my plate.

    Post # 6
    114 posts
    Blushing bee

    I don’t usually “cover my plate”, because I can’t afford to. I’ve also read that classic etiquette does not call for a guest to provide for the expense of their dinner… otherwise why not provide each table with a bill?

    Two weddings that I have had a part in planning in the past five years however had made up more in gifts than the cost of the venue and meals. But like you said, it all depends on the cost anyways. 

    Post # 7
    8471 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Ya know, I always wondered, do people actually call the place to see how much it is per plate? I could never ask a bride that. Nobody asked me how much I was paying per head. I guess if you are familiar with the venue, then it’s easy to figure out. 

    Post # 8
    7208 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @MrsBeck:  I think it really depends on your area/culture. I know several friends who grew up with their parents giving at least $100 p/p in cash. Italian, Chinese, Jordanian…. lots of cultures do this. My family doesn’t. We always just bought something from the registry in whatever amount we could afford. I don’t know anyone in our family who expects to “come out ahead” after the wedding. 

    Post # 11
    352 posts
    Helper bee

    I have weighed in on this in different threads, but no, I do not cover my plate… I give what I can afford, and at a more casual wedding that probably covers my plate, but if a friend of mine decides to have a wedding that costs $200 a plate, that’s not my decision, that’s hers. 

    Post # 12
    4429 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MrsBeck:  when i attend a wedding i always give a card with $50.00 min to cover my plate if im invited to the bridal shower i give a gift for that too always from the brides registry so i make sure i get the couple what they want. if me and my FH attend we give a card with $100.00.

    Post # 14
    8471 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MrsBeck:  lol.. Prices change so much with the time of year and all, could you just see people calling up, “hello. I’m attending a wedding at your hall this Saturday. I’d like to know how much you charged the couple per plate.”

    Post # 15
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsBeck:  I’m surprised you have a few no votes! I thought this was just the done thing! Then again, I’m in Australia so it could be a regional thing… I think standard here is about $100 per person. Obviously you will always get people who skimp a bit or don’t give a gift, but that would be the general standard. I would never go so far as researching actual plate cost, I’d just base it on how well I knew or liked them and how expensive their wedding seems to be… if it was a backyard casual do I wouldn’t give as big of a gift as if it was somewhere renowned for being expensive!


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