(Closed) Do you deserve a bigger ring? Or does that make me selfish?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: If you've waited and worked hard, do you/me deserve a bigger ring? Or would that make you/me selfish
    You/I deserve it! : (48 votes)
    36 %
    You/I would be selfish to think that! : (68 votes)
    52 %
    Other (please comment) : (16 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2118 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I don’t necessarily think that you are selfish for wanting a bigger ring, I mean you have been with this guy for 8 years! But I wouldn’t say you deserve it either. Not that you are a bad person or anything, but does the size of ring really represent the effort and love you have put into your relationship?

    I think that no matter what ring you get, you should be happy and proud of it because it came from the man you love.

    Post # 4
    Member
    700 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2004

    no way! not horrible at all! I don’t necessarily think that you “deserve” a larger ring because you’ve been together for a long time, but if that’s what you want and what makes you happy, you should have it (if it’s within your means). I wanted a bigger ring, and my husband wanted me to be happy. win/win 🙂 I had a smaller diamond to begin with, and we had a lot of problems with the setting, so I ended up trading it in. That’s when I decided I would like a bigger diamond, and my husband was totally fine with it. It’s mine and we got it for me because I loved it. and that’s all that matters.

    happy wife, happy life.

    Post # 5
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Do you deserve it? Yes. Is it necessary? No. I’d say that I deserve it, I went through hell and back to have our child! I am good to him and he is good to me. I actually downgraded my ring because it was too big. Big isn’t always better and people with smaller rings aren’t less deserving than those with larger ones. Your stone size doesn’t measure or amount to your self worth or his love for you. If you really want a bigger ring talk to him about an upgrade and see what he thinks. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Let’s see the ring!!

    Post # 7
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think the word “deserve” implies that an engagement ring is some kind of payment or reward, which, IMO, isn’t what engagement should be about.

    Of course, our entire society conspires to make people think that, so I can’t blame anyone who feels that way.

    Post # 9
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    @mightywombat: I agree deserve is not a good word to throw around when talking about engagement. But should you have something you love? Yes I think so.

    Post # 10
    Member
    666 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Depends on how big you mean and how much money you two have.  To want platinum with diamonds can’t be selfish.  To want platinum with 2-3 Ct center stone, maybe or maybe not, depends on your financial status.

    Post # 11
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m not sure if it is selfish or not, but personally I think it’s a waste of money. I’d want the incredible life I built to be a reflection of those 8 years, not a ring. I can think of lots of more worthy things, to me, to spend the money on. Travel, home, continuing education, retirement, etc.

    Post # 12
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @anonabon:  I don’t think diamond/stone sizes reps love or time. That’s just not possible or fair. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2118 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @anonabon:  “The representation of a larger diamond would be the amount of time and emotion we’ve put into our relationship together.”

    No offense, but this seems shallow to me. A diamond doesn’t not equal any of the above. Our society has been manipulated to question how much love is really worth. Well guess what? Love is priceless. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I don’t think it’s horrible to want a big ring, but I don’t think a longer wait means you deserve anything different. You should get what suits your taste and is within your means, wether that’s big or small.

    Post # 16
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I don’t think that you deserve any more of a ring than the next person. We waited quite a few years to marry as well (6.5 to be exact) but that had absolutely no bearing on how big or small my ring was. We got the rings we wanted and you should do the same. Saying that you “deserve” more of a ring because you’ve been together for so long doesn’t make much sense to me. 

    The topic ‘Do you deserve a bigger ring? Or does that make me selfish?’ is closed to new replies.

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