(Closed) Do you do his laundry?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who does the laundry?

    I do my laundry, and he does his

    I do both of our laundry, and I have a full time job

    I do both of our laundry, and work p.t. or SAHM

    He does both of our laundry

    Other - refer to comment below

  • Post # 62
    10361 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We both do laundry. He may do it a little more often because he works from home, thpough.

    Post # 63
    2836 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @Jamieg:  whoever is around will put the laundry in the machines- I will do it, or I will get the load ready and ask him to do it if he’s not busy.  He will put his own clothes away or else I will put them away if I have time.  Sometimes we do it together before bed.  I always put my own clothes away- just because I keep some here, some there- and I would never expect he knew what went where, although if I bothered to tell him or ask him to, he would do it.


    We basically share the respnsibility!

    Post # 64
    1647 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

    My fh is super anal about laundry.   I dont know when it was decided that it was my job but many many arguments come from when I start laundry and dont finish putting it away.   I will wash dry and usually fold but it sits in a basket before I put it away and he flips out.   I DO work 40+ hours a week, I have other chores and upkeep and we have a toddler.    But he likes to bitch and complain.    I also dont flip his socks right side out before folding them together.    Eventually he will learn to put them right side out in the laundry hamper (I suppose we could start be actually putting in the hamper instead of the floor).   One time he had the audacity to bitch that I wasnt folding them right because I was not stuffing the WHOLE toe part inside the tube, so it was ugly, and his underpants were not nicely folded.    I started not folding them at all.    

    So to answer the question, I do all the laundry.    He usually irons his shirts for work though.

    Post # 65
    4953 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    FH won’t let me touch his laundry. He’s weird about it. If that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t mind doing it. Laundry was my family chore as a kid, so I’m used to doing it all the time.

    Post # 66
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I have always – even when we werent dating and I would stay at his- done his (and mine) washing. I just always have.

    I don’t do the ironing he does.

    I guess it jut worked out that way

    Post # 67
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I do the majority of the laundry…

    And this is solely because I AM PICKY, particularly so when it comes to my own clothes / things.

    (I don’t use a drycleaning service much… as I have found with proper care, I can do most of my own things… including delicates, on my own.  This saves me a good bit of money, and my clothes actually last a long time.  The trade off it means a lot more smaller loads that are care specific… ie red sweater, delicate, cold, no spin, dry flat etc)

    So the fact that I do most of the Laundry in our house IS A CHOICE

    I don’t begrudge him the fact that I do the laundry… it is a job I don’t mind doing because:

    a) I am picky

    b) I actually find it relaxing to do… a mindless sort of job that I get a great deal of satisfaction out of

    We have an agreement tho…

    1- If he decides to do laundry then he isn’t to touch anything of mine EVER

    If he “accidently” ruins a piece of clothing let it be his own… not one of mine !!

    2- I sort, wash, dry, fold… but I DO NOT PUT AWAY.  There is a spot near the Laundry Room where he can pick up his clean & folded items and take them off to where they belong

    (When I do get peeved, is when I go back up to our room afterwards, to discover that he hasn’t put the clean stuff away… but rather left them somewhere that isn’t the “cleanest” of choices… such as on the top of his laundry hamper.  That ticks me off.  I think WHY am I doing this if he just puts them somewheres other than where they belong / will stay clean.  BUT I realize that this is my issue… and I’m learning to deal with it)

    This isn’t to say that Mr TTR never does laundry.  He does.  There are occasions when he decides he wants something and I am not around (particular Tshirt for a night out… etc).  They’ll he throw that item in on his own.

    Lol, most of the time he does ok with his own stuff… but when something goes wrong… or he needs some special help / advice, he is quick to come and ask me now… clearly having run into a few situations where something did go as he planned.  “What happened to this??? I threw it in and now it looks like this?”

    Most often I can rectify the situation (soap residue)… but there are times when I can’t (shrunk)… which is when I remind him that he needs to READ the Washing Instructions and not assume things (this particular TShirt says COLD Water only… so ya, even warm water, and a spin in the dryer is gonna mess up your clothes)

    He’s getting it.  And either defers to me and my Laundry Schedule… or he’s learning to do more reading, or ask me upfront.

    In the time since we’ve been together, he has certainly teased me about my “picky” laundry habits… but at the same time he’s also appreciated my knowledge / expertise.  And has come to me on occasion and said “Damn, look at this stain… do you think it’s ruined?  Can you work your magic and make it disappear ?”  I cannot always… but usually I can improve the situation… and when I can make it “just like new”, he is soooo happy.

    On occasion he’s even told others that I am a Laundry Genius… lol, makes me smile, a lot better than the days in the beginning of our relationship when he thought I was a Laundry Nut (too many piles, too many rules… which is WHY we got down to just one… DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF, lol)


    Post # 68
    544 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Jamieg:  I do both our laundry, but only because he is an athlete and where we currently live I cant work due to lacking language skills. If I still had a job, I would expect him to do more around the house. He only works 2-3 hours a day, so If i would be gone 6-10 hours, I think it would only be fair if he would help with the laundry/ cleaning the house.

    Post # 69
    4027 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    @KC-2722:  +1

    View original reply
    @Jamieg:  First, you are NOT his mother, a housekeeper or a maid. He is a grown man and is perfectly capable of doing his own laundry, especially if he is going to be so particular about it. 

    I do my laundry and he does his laundry. I used to do joint loads, but he put too many pens in his pockets and important things (receipts,  name bags, etc) and then would complain about the stuff being ruined. I don’t empty pockets of clothing because I don’t put things in my pockets!! Lol, our new resolution is to do our own laundry.

    I think it is fine if one spouse offers to do laundry willingly, but I don’t think it is fair or equitable for it to be expected or for the receiving spouse to complain/make unreasonable demands.

    Post # 70
    504 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I do the laundry, he takes out the trash. We trade off household jobs and both contribute so I don’t mind it at all!

    Post # 71
    714 posts
    Busy bee

    @Jamieg:  i do mine he does his! i’m fussy i do a dark wash a coloured wash and a white wash!

    he just throws everything in! so after a few botched combined effort i was like ok no i’ll just do mine you do yours!! we’ve been living together about 2.5 years!

    Post # 72
    982 posts
    Busy bee

    We both do laundry – he will do some during the week while I work, and I will do some on the weekend while he’s at work. We’re moving in together full time in a couple of weeks. He’s a very tidy person, and at the moment, we don’t really have set chores to do – it’s more like ‘if something is messy, clean it up. He does love to cook though, so the kitchen is his domain – which is fine by me!

    Post # 73
    770 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I usually sort the laundry (to protect my precious dry cleaning), and then he’ll usually run it and bring it back in. Mostly it’s whoever gets desperate first!


    I have some choice words for your sexist jerk husband, tell him to feel free to message me. 

    Post # 74
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee

    I do 75% of the laundry but DH does not expect me to wash his. I actually love doing laundry and DH hates it. I love the smell and feel of clean clothes. One time I came home from shopping and DH had a load running. I said, “Oh you’re doing laundry?” His reply was, “Yes, I wanted it to feel like you were home.” I love doing laundry that much. 

    I wash, dry, and fold the items of his that I wash but he puts it away. Honestly, I do it because DH would rather wear dirty laundry than wash it. I can’t stand that.

    DH cooks 90% of the time too and deep cleans the kitchen. I take care of the bathroom because I can’t stand it as dirty as he can.

    Post # 75
    64 posts
    Worker bee

    I do my laundry, his laundry.. the dog’s laundry. And I have a full time job.

    What I don’t do is have to cook. at all. seriously, its awesome. 

    Post # 76
    1534 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @Jamieg:  You need to have the option for “we both do each others laundry”. Because we just do it as it needs to be done, whoever notices first. Its not one persons job. Also, I am a Jamie too 🙂

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