Post # 1
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
This past weekend I stayed at my mom and stepdad’s house to take care of their 5 dogs and 4 chickens while they went away for the weekend. In the past when I’ve done this, I’ve been happy to help, but it made me feel really bad this past weekend. I left my brand new husband (of 3.5 weeks), and my own dog (who we’ve adopted since the last time I housesat), back at our house, and spent the weekend somewhere else taking care of someone else’s animals and house.
I did get back home a few times to see them, but it just felt wrong. And my mom is already talking about next year’s trip (it’s a conference they go to every year) and gave me the dates so I could mark it on my calendar.
I know I can’t do this forever, we are planning on having kids and once that happens, I’m definitely out. But should I keep doing this until then? Maybe I just feel this way because we JUST got married, and in the future it won’t feel so wrong.
Do you do this sort of thing for your parents? Or would you, if they asked?
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@jillmatt: We live in another country from our parents, but if we lived near by I probably would.
Is there a reason why your husband and dog can’t come with you for the weekend?
As long as it’s a weekend that works for you and they don’t ask you to do it all the time, I don’t see too huge an issue with it (esp if you can bring your husband and dog with you).
Post # 4
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
We dog-sit, but the parents bring the dog to us. (We live 3+ hrs apart.) And likewise, they dog-sit for us when we go on vacation.
How far away is your parents’ house?
Post # 5
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
@KatNYC2011: Ah, I forgot to mention, they can’t. Several of my mom’s dogs are rescues and have some dog aggression issues. They get along with each other because my mom’s worked on it a lot, but she’s very wary of a different dog being there, especially overnight, without her there. I have asked, and have even suggested introducing them slowly and getting them used to each other gradually, but she still says no to my dog actually staying the night.
Post # 6
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
It’s OK to have a weekend away from your hubby every once in a while. And you’re doing your parents a big favor…what’s wrong with that?
I dogsit for my parents all the time.
Post # 7
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
@abbyful: They are only 45 minutes away, so it’s not too awful (for visiting with my fam during the day).
Not that I would expect them to do this, but we have asked if they could watch our dog when we go away (like when we went on our honeymoon). They say they can’t handle another dog, which I understand (they actually have 7 dogs, they always take 2 of them with them when they travel).
Post # 8
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
@kswiftbride: Yeah I am wondering if it is just because we were married so recently, and when this time comes around next year I’ll be fine with it.
Post # 9
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
My parents just got a puppy in January and we’ll be watching him when my parents go away on longer vacations. They’re planning a trip to Spain this October, and it actually worked out to be $700 cheaper for them to come here first (I live 3 hours away) and leave the dog with us and then fly out of Boston. Otherwise, I was going to meet them halfway and pick up the dog. My parents have done a lot for me and I like that I can help them out. And it works out, because they’re going to take our dog for the 10 days we’re on our honeymoon.
But I’ll watch the dog in my own house. I wouldn’t be thrilled with having to spend the weekend away from my Fiance and my own dog. If I was in your situation, I’d tell my mom she needs to come up with a solution so that my dog could stay the night. Either a way of separating them, or getting them accustomed to each other. And I’d let her know that she would need to make alternate arrangements once we have kids, just so she’s prepared.
Post # 10
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
@jillmatt: I just saw this: “They say they can’t handle another dog”
I’m sorry but they have 7 dogs, and taking on an 8th for a week or so would be too much? How much more work is that going to be? I don’t know the situation, but that seems kind of selfish to me. You leave your husband and own dog to care for theirs, and they can’t reciprocate?
Post # 11
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
@Future MrsB: Thanks for your reply, I may try to be more firm about having our dog come with us. There has to be a solution.
Also, that’s a good distinction to make – the part about leaving my husband and dog back at home is what bothers me, not the actual house/dog sitting. If they didn’t have so many dang dogs, I would be for having the dogs stay at our house, but it would be a lot to keep the chaos of 6 total dog sin check. Plus they have the chickens, who really need to have someone there to make sure they’re safe at night, etc.
Post # 12
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
I don’t know about bringing your dog in the mix– when there’s that many dogs there is a pack mentality. They have their own social system and hierarchy and I wouldn’t want to just throw a dog in there for a weekend? I dogsit for a group of 6 rescues and I’d only be comfortable bringing a new dog in to meet 2 of them at a time, never just thrown in the bunch. It’s not about filling one extra food bowl, it’s about watching them constantly because they are going to try to establish dominance and figure out where the new dog ranks in the pack.
I’d keep dogsitting. One weekend out of your year isn’t that big of a deal and it’s a really nice gesture as boarding for that many dogs would be really expensive– think of it as traveling or business or whatnot? I think you’re sensitive because you’re only recently married and recently got your dog so it feels too soon for a “vacation” from them.
Also, for when your parents do need someone new, check any local colleges. I picked up my gig when I worked at a shelter when I did my undergrad– I desperately needed the cash and loved the weekend out of the dorm. I missed my dogs from home and got lots of studying done while I ate HotPockets out of their freezer. I still love dogsitting for her on weekends when I’m back in that town (can’t beat $100 for sleeping with a pack of pups!)
Post # 13
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
@Future MrsB: Yeah… we sort of agree 🙂
But it’s all they can do to take care of the dogs, groom them (most of them have long coats naturally, which they keep short, but it takes a lot of work), and both work full time.
That begs the question if they should even have that many dogs, but that’s a whole other issue.
Post # 14
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
We are currently babysitting my parents dog.. and she is sick. It has not been a good week. I was supposed to take her to them tmrw when I got visit for the wknd (3 hour drive) but now my step dad is coming to get her today.
I don’t mind doing it, but this time with her being sick it was a lot to handle.
Post # 15
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
My dog is so low maintenance, I guess it’s a little outside my realm of understanding. She’s short-haired so no grooming (which your dog wouldn’t need anyways for the short time you’re away), just feed her a couple times a day and maybe let her snuggle on a lap at night. Wtih a ton of other dogs around she’d just wear herself out and wouldn’t need much else.
Post # 16
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
We’ve watched FMIL’s dogs a few times. But she’s right around the corner and we just run over a few times a day to let them out/take them in, feed & water them. She in return has fed FI’s cat. We’ll see how it goes when we need her again, since I brought my dog. Her dogs will gang up on my dog so she can’t take it to her house.
Member