(Closed) Do you plan to be served and eat before or after your guests?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Every wedding I’ve been to, the couple and bridal party gets served first. Traditionally this probably makes sense as it would have been the bride’s parents hosting (not so common these days), not the couple. The couple are the guests of honour so it makes sense. It still makes sense though – gives them time to eat and then they can go mingle 🙂

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

The couple usually gets served first and I better get served first at my wedding since Fiance and I are the guests of honor!! And at every other wedding I’ve been to I’ve gotten served last. It’s our turn!

Post # 6
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I would assume the bride and groom should get served first because of all their other responsibilities they have at the reception: greeting tables, first dances, toasts, etc. Being able to eat first ensures they get to eat before all the festivities begin!

Post # 7
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Plan to eat before them?  No… maybe get served before others but generally everyone gets served around the same time and you all eat together. 

Post # 8
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I plan to eat whenever I see food in front of me.  Laughing

Post # 9
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, technically your parents are the hostess of the party or whom ever is paying the bride and groom are always the guests of honor. So I don’t see why they shouldn’t just be served before everyone else. If it’s not too soon before they can wait till everyone gets served to take the first bite. Or you can have grace before dinner so everyone eats at the same time… We’re having a buffet so I’m not sure what we are personally going to do….

Post # 10
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Logistics wise, it would make sense for the bridal party to eat first, so they can finish eating early enough to cut the cake and have their first dance while the night is still young.  Otherwise everyone else will be done eating and have to wait around for the bridal party to finish eating and then open the dance floor.

Ettiquette wise, I’ve never heard anyone say it’s rude to serve the bridal party last or first.  However, I have heard that some people expect the bridal party to “open the buffet” similarly to the way they open the dance floor… but that’s if you’re having a buffet.  Otherwise if it’s a plated dinner, it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to bring out all the food anyway so no one’s feeling like their waiting on anyone else in that case.

Post # 11
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’ll be eating at the same time, because we are having such a small wedding. I have heard that many couples don’t get to eat at all, o you might want to plan for that possibility (stick a cereal bar in your purse, or having somethng planned for later, depending on the time of the wedding)

Post # 12
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We will be opening the buffet line for our guests, and it has been that way at every wedding I have ever attended.  I absolutely HAVE to eat, or very bad things happen to my blood sugar and I literally go into shock.  The important guests know about this, and everyone has agreed to give us time to ourselves to actually EAT our dinner.  But if I were in a situation where we were eating last…I would put whatever kind of protein and snack bars I could into my purse and drink a TON of water. 

But, my parents are paying for the wedding (and I do think it is still common these days for parents to pay for, or contribute to, the wedding)  Maybe it is a regional thing, but around these parts, that is still how it’s done.  So I guess we are still considered the guests of honor, and not the hosts 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I used to be a waitress at a banquet facility and worked many weddings/showers/rehearsal dinners/etc. And we were always told to serve the bride and groom first. It’s because it’s YOUR night. We always know the person in charge (it was either the bride/groom or their parents) and if it was the parents that never changed who we served first.

 

I just went to a wedding where the guests had to stand outside the room while the bridal party ate their meals. Once they were done everyone was allowed in. Although I found this strange and different, it kind of made sense. They did this so they could greet everyone and not have to worry about eating with their guests there.

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Judging by how my bridal shower went, I think it’s totally necessary for the B&G to be served first b/c like others have said, if everyone else eats first then they’ll be coming over to the B&G to talk, dance, whatever but if they’re waiting to be served they’ll stay away. I wasn’t whisked away at my shower and didn’t even get to drink water!! Everyone wanted to talk to me, I actually had to talk to someone through the door while I was peeing b/c no one would le tme have a minute to myself!!

Post # 15
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My fiance and I are eating during cocktail hour in the bridal suite.  We’ll use the brunch hour to mingle with our guests.

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