- 2 months ago
- Wedding: December 2100 - City, State
peachybee88 : I ask my parents advice on almost everything. (Not sexual stuff. We’re open with each other but not that open) I don’t feel guilty about it at all. I also vent to my best friend because our husbands are surprisingly similar. He knows about it too. Our marriage isn’t some secret thing that needs to be guarded and it isn’t some fragile thing that will break if God forbid my parents know that I get frustrated when he throws his shoes on the freshly washed mudroom floor. My parents have been married for over 50 years. They know that marriage ebbs and flows and some days are better than others. I don’t worry that their opinion of my husband will change or that they’ll worry about my marriage. They know we’re happy and see how we are with each other but sometimes you just need to talk to someone outside of the marriage. To me, that’s normal and healthy. Others don’t have that relationship with their family so it’s not.
I’ve never had a bad relatioship ‘issue’, but on the very rare occasion I have been upset over something minor, I have talked to my parents about it a few times. I’ve not gone to them with the intent of asking for advice; they have noticed that I am bothered by something and asked me what’s wrong, and I’ve told them what is bothering me. I have never kept this a secret from my partner. I don’t think they have ever given me ‘advice’ though. Usually they just listen to my side of it and then will explain how this looks from an outside perspective, or even help me to see it from my partner’s perspective. I can count more times they have sided with him than me actually 😂 It’s not uncommon for me to be highly sensitive and need to have things explained from different points of views so that I can contextualise what is going on. They all know this about me, so there is no beef from my parents if I talk to my fiance about an issue I’ve got with them with him, or vice versa.
My parents have been married nearly 34 years, as I have grown up they have become my friends as well as my mum and dad. We talk about lots of things together. My fiance sees them as his second parents and they see him as their son. We are very close and have never had any problems the 4 of us, including talking about relationships with eachother.
I’m incredibly open with my family, so I definitely speak about my relationship. My mom is one of my best friends and while I don’t go to my dad and tell him things I know I could. So, yes, I do ask my parents for relationship advice.
I ask my parents for advice on a lot of things but not relationship stuff. My mom in particular can be very judgmental so I just don’t want to go there with her. My dad is more level headed but I’ve so far never felt compelled to ask his advice about my relationship. That’s what my girlfriends are for, and, failing that, a therapist.
generallybee : “My parents didn’t support me having any relationships during high school, so I had to keep everything a secret, and even when they found out they were so disapproving that I couldn’t go to them for any advice or help.“
my parents were a lot like this. I know they love me and always have my back, but the way they tried to control my life in high school and college has had the long term effect of making me not want to open up to them when it comes to relationship stuff even a decade+ later.
My mum I talk to but very rarely tbh. Usually it’s to get perspective, I’ve got PTSD from a bunch of childhood issues and she’s level headed enough to tell me that I’m making mountains out of molehills. But generally me and my partner work things out ourselves.
I lost my mom when i was still married to my ex husband. That marriage was super toxic…. But hers was even more so. I didn’t ask for advice from her ever. My dad on the other hand, met a wonderful woman almost 10 years ago and they’ve been married for about 9. Shes the mother i never really had. I ask both my dad and my step mom about relationship advice and general life advice. I trust them both to give me solid healthy advice. Fiance and I don’t have many issues…. But if i ever have a question on how to handle something… I just ask them.