(Closed) Do you ever feel "ashamed" because of your diamond carat size? (Big or small)

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Do you ever feel ashamed or uncomfortable due to your diamond size?

    I always/often feel uncomfortable/ashamed that my diamond is so huge.

    I always/often feel ashamed/uncomfortable that my diamond is so tiny.

    I am always proud of my huge stone, that is way bigger than my native standards.

    I am always proud of my dainty stone, even if it's smaller than "normal" where I live.

    My diamond size is the norm where I was born and live.

    I feel comfortable where I live, but it feels small when I travel back home and compare to others.

    I feel comfortable where I live, but it feels too big when travelling back home, compared to others.

  • Post # 2
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    My ring is 1.5 cts. At work, it’s the largest.  In my fiancé’s suburb, it’s average.  The two locations are 10 miles apart.  I love it and am not embarassed by it at all.  If someone knows us, then they realize that we are early/mid 30s, with good careers and modest homes.  My ring was not a financial stress for us.

    Post # 3
    691 posts
    Busy bee

    Since people in your home country are so judgemental about diamond size, why don’t you just leave it at home when you travel back to your country?

    Buy what makes you happy, and to heck with what anyone else thinks.

    Post # 4
    472 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    My ring is a 2 center, and 2.6 in total carat weight.

    Where we live right now I would say my ring is average, even on the smaller side – where I’m from it’s on the larger side but honestly I don’t care what anyone thinks so I would say no, I don’t feel ashamed. I love my ring, and the fact that he chose it for me, and it didn’t bankrupt him in the process either ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    Post # 5
    8601 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    One thing about NYC… And I see this on the boards a lot… 2-10 carats is NOT the average. By a long shot. That’s just silly. Its a big city with very varied incomes. Maybe in those posters specific neighborhood or friend group, but I always lol when people say all of NYC is wearing mega stones. Its just not true. It is true though that a big stone is not unusual and it won’t stick out like it does elsewhere. But its not like you sit on the subway or another public place and every married lady has a huge rock. 

    Anyway… My ring sticks out as big when I am home in the Midwest. It blends in in NYC. It is “small” compared to gaudy AF north shore long island. In all of these environments I do not give a toot. It’s my ring, I love it, end of story. I didn’t get it to keep up with the joneses. We didn’t pick it to maximize carat size within our budget even. Im not a bigger is better lady. You can’t be bothered with everyone’s opinion of you. You can’t please everyone so just please yourself ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 6
    8674 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    So, mine is bigger than the average among my peer group (both here and back home) and I don’t care.  I love it, it’s a great size, and anyone who disagrees can go cry into their pillows for me, because I’m not gonna do it.

    Post # 7
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I didn’t vote because none of the responses fit me, but I occassionally feel ashamed of my “small” stone when I see the larger stones my friends have (2 and 3 ct for them, 1 for me), but I also recognize that I live in a part of the country where wealth is flashed about freely. I just remind myself that my stone is a fantastic size, and just because we didn’t go into debt to afford it doesn’t mean I’m any “lesser” than those women who have huge stones.

    Post # 8
    1596 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    View original reply
    janice1989:  I totally hear you. I couldn’t imagine have a huge and blingy ring like most people on WB have, even thogh I find them aboslutely gorgeous. To me and the people here (live in Germany) that would be totally over the top to have a huge diamond ring. I rarely even see a German woman with an engagement ring, or wedding set. Sometimes you will see a blingy-ish wedding band with a stone or some smaller ones in it. I do not have an engagement ring, though I am considering a dainty one (which kinda is underwhelming for the ladies here, but I really like)

    I definitely feel like nobody “back home” (USA) would even view the ring I am picking out for an engagement ring as a “real” engagement ring”…

    To be completely honest: I do sometimes get a little ring envy when I see those big blingy rings but not enough to change my opinion and I don’t think I would feel ashamed. I kinda feel like (no offense to other cultures) that’s a lot of money for a ring and diamands have a very very high ethical price. I prefer the European values around engagement rings and engagements in general… here, less really is more  ๐Ÿ™‚


    Post # 9
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I can’t vote in your poll because of the wording. I am very, very happy with my 2 carat solitaire which is bigger than the norm and my peer group in the UK, but I’m not proud of it. I love gemstones and larger sizes particularly, and I feel the 2 carat looks great on my hand but it’s nothing to be proud of. I’m proud of my educational and career achievements, my relationships (mostly). Things I’m ashamed of are poor decisions or failures to be the best friend/sister/daughter I could have been in any particular situation. Many material things do make me happy, but they don’t make me either proud or ashamed. 

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Drizzle.
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Drizzle.
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Drizzle.
    Post # 10
    1488 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

    Compared to both my mom and my Mother-In-Law, my ring is larger and blingier. Compared to co workers, it’s slightly smaller. I’ve been told it’s small and it’s large, so it really depends on how others perceive rings in general. I spent a good while feeling insecure about the size in general and disliking any attention I received from it.
    Now I adore it. It was exactly the ring that we both picked out and fell in love with as a couple. It was within budget and it was and still is a very important step in our lives. So every bit of that carat weight and sparkle is worth it. Girls, own your rings no matter the style or size. Every ring is just as important!

    Post # 11
    255 posts
    Helper bee

    I would be happy with whatever my fiancé gave me, as long as it wasn’t edible! 

    I’m from the UK, and I have a beautiful 0.33 oval diamond solitaire on a palladium knife edge band. Diamonds are so expensive over here! I can’t believe he spent what he did in the first place!

    Post # 12
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    My ring is on the large side for my geography’s average, but in line with my social circles… 

    1.3ct center, 2ctw ering, 1ctw wband. 3 carats for my total set. 

    In my hometown, it is larger than average and in DH’s hometown it is huge. 

    Post # 13
    95 posts
    Worker bee

    I just find it weird when everyone has a ring that is 1+ carat but it seems that alot of people have solitaries so you don’t have to spend that much on the band itself, most of the money is going into the stone. Whereas the ring I am looking at is just under 5grand Canadian it will have a .5carat centre stone with a halo, .72 total weight. I think .5 is big enough!!!!

    I have a size 5 finger, anything bigger would get knocked around caught or be too overpowering for me…

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