Post # 1
Fellow Petite (specifically skinny this time) Girls,
Do you ever feel like in recent years the media has changed drastically to make full figure girls feel better about themselves. Which is a GREAT thing because we are ALL beautiful.But. I feel like in doing so the message that comes across to ME at least is if you’re not the “average” woman you’re not a REAL woman. And really, what IS average?I just hate that in the recent years I feel like in trying to make full figure girls feel better it seems like “well if you’re skinny” you must be bulimic or anorexic. Because it’s not “real” or “normal” to be that skinny.
I can’t honestly say I am blessed with genetics because my mom was heavier in her younger days and I have a maternal aunt that fights with weight issues. Fiance and I eat very healthy, I’ll admit it I hardly ever work out because I’m uber lazy. But we eat healthy, but not in the I will never in my life eat potato chips and fried chicken kinda healthy. But a good balance, know what I mean?
Anyway, am I the only one that feels this way?
Perspectives from ALL sides welcomed!
Please note in no way shape or form am I trying to make anyone feel bad. I am just expressing my feelings and wondering if anyone else feels the same OR am I off my rocker? If YOU think I am, feel free to say so, nicely.
P.S. Petite(skinny) topic here!
Post # 3
I think that all the “media” you’re talking about, that you feel makes fullfigured girls feel better, is a result of the fact that there IS a ton of stigma and discrimination against heavier people. And the fact that there is a small subset of magazines, websites, books, whatever, that support full figured women doesn’t change the fact that people do discriminate against people because of their weight. To me, this argument is similar to saying something about how there is so much support for people of color, now that Obama is president, what about white people? Shouldn’t they be given time in the spotlight as well? (I know it’s a little extreme). I just think it’s easy as someone in the majority/valued group–thin–to not see how people in the stigmatized group are really treated.
I do however agree that there tends to be a split–like either you’re ONLY a woman if you’re full figured, or you’re ONLY a woman if you’re thin. That drives me crazy–the world needs to be more open-minded to all forms of femininity and “woman-ness.”
Post # 4
There is definitely a media stigma shift that way. The emphasis is on full being ‘beautiful’ and model-slender being ‘sick’ and gross now, but it has backlashed into making skinnier women feel guilty or unattractive or unwomanly in the process. I can’t relate on how I feel about it because I consider myself neither skinny/petite nor overweight, just sorta smack in the middle, but I do see it in the media frequently and I cringe a little when i see girls touting their curves as being “real women” because I know the skinnier girls are going “hey! what about me!?”
there’s just no happy medium, is there?!
I will say that whenever I think of “unhealthy skinny” i think of my friend who struggles with Anorexia. Who is so thin it will kill her if she doesn’t get better. I don’t think about the women who are just naturally skinny and/or work hard to stay a size 0 or just have ballerina bodies. Or who are just slender in general. Or, skinnier than me. THAT is automatically where my mind goes for “unhealthy skinny”. Ok and some of those models because seriously some of them do need a burger and a lot of them ARE anorexic, but I never see girls in real life where I go “OMG” and freak out mentally about them being too skinny. I’ve only known a handful of anorexic girls in real life and those who struggled the most really were that skinny that you just knew instinctively something was wrong. It wasn’t “oh she’s skinny” it was more the gaunt face, the pallor, the bad skin, hair, nails, the bad teeth. That sort of stuff gave it away.
Post # 5
I would just like to say I would LOVE for someone to call me a skinny biatch. It would seriously make my day, and I would take no offense to it whatsoever.
Note: I am not super-thin, or can really even be classified as skinny due to the extra lbs in my belly area, but regardless, I wish someone would call me that lol.
I don’t know what it feels like to be real thin. I’ve always battled with my weight and it has gone up and down since I was around 18. At this point in my life, I look ok, and feel reasonably good about myself. It’s important that we all feel good about ourselves, and to give ourselves a pat on the back for the things we achieve, whatever they are.
We are all REAL women. We’re not robots, we were born human, and we are real. I can see where you’re coming from on that term. I definately prefer to use the term ‘average’ over the term ‘real’ simply because it’s most accurate. No one can be faulted for their genetics. I wish I got the naturally skinny gene but alas, I did not 🙁
Anywho, just chiming in.
Post # 6
SKINNY BIaTCH! 😛
I definitely understand WHY there has been a media shift in that direction. I just feel like things got to the all or nothing phase. And in doing so, it does make skinny people feel like hey “what about me”. Just because we’re skinny doesn’t mean we’re not real woman.
And yeah, I know, this totally sounds like a “woe is me” post probably to the people who DO think skinny people are not real woman.
FYI. I’m OK with my body because Fiance loves it and that’s all that matters! Every now and then when I see a “beautiful L’Oreal because I’m a real woman” commercial it just digs into me. Then I just usually turn and bitch to Fiance. Hehe.
Post # 7
you are right that the media is switching gears, but i think at any given point in time, one side or another is gona take flack… it’s hard to promote a “everyone’s beautiful” campaign, when “everyone doesn’t agree” like ej said “there’s really no happy medium”
as far being someone who had “good genetics” as some would like to call, it’s not always the skinny girls that are healthy too. i’m 5’7″ and weigh 125 lbs… but a couple years back i was considered anemic with an overactive thyroid, which kept me at an unhealthy 110 lbs. models might consider this a god send, but for me i felt gross and skeletal.
i think women on both ends of the spectrum know what it feels like to be scrutinized and stereotyped the wrong way. it’s just the way of life and you gotta let society course its generic ways without it hindering from you, personally, knowing that you are a wonderful woman, exactly the way you are.
Post # 8
@ Gerbera: I totally agree that there has been a shift to the all or nothing phase–and I agree, it sucks! It’s never fair to make one group feel unwelcome or less-than, especially because for women, our bodies/weights are so much a part of how we value ourselves (or at least in my experience). I think it’s great that you’re happy with yourself and you have a great Fiance who appreciates you as well! I hope I didn’t come off as attacking your POV-not my intention at all 🙂
Post # 9
I absolutely do not feel bad about being skinny. I’ve weighed about 115lbs since high school. That’s completely normal and healthy for me, and I’m glad to have the body I have.
What’s annoying to me is the idea that skinny girls aren’t supposed to feel bad about themselves, and we’re not supposed to exercise because “we don’t need it.” My mother and sister give me grief because I bought an exercise DVD. “What do you need that for, you’re already skinny!” I WANT TO BE HEALTHY, NOT SKINNY! Blargh.
I have my insecurities like anyone else. I don’t shout them from the mountaintops, and I don’t comment on other people’s weight.
Personally, I think we could all benefit from ignoring the media. They show a bunch of crap and talk a bunch of crap.
Skinny biatch skinny biatch skinny biatch! So there!
Post # 10
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I have very mixed feelings on this. I think it’s awesome that the media is starting to show women of ALL sizes, and not just those that are stick-thin. I think it’s a really great shift to make, and I’m so glad to see it finally happening.
However, in the process, I do agree that more curvy women are now being called “real” women, while skinnier women are called “sickly” or “gross”. I wish that all women would be called “real” whether they weigh 105 pounds or 205.
EDIT: Also wanted to add that I 100% agree with Minutiae that the thing I hate most is being told by others to shut up when I mention being bloated, etc. I hate being told “Oh, look at you – you’re so skinny, you never have to worry about feeling bad” because that’s not true. If I gain weight, I understand that I’m still skinny, but I don’t feel like ME. And I feel like I have every right to have insecurities about my body, because really, who doesn’t?
Post # 11
Yes, I feel that people always hate on the skinny girls or that it’s ok to say snarky remarks to skinny girls thinking that it wouldn’t hurt their feelings because they’re skinny. I’m skinny, and although nature may have played a role, I also live a healthy lifestyle via exercise and a healthy diet of whole natural foods. I’m really offended when people who think they need to chime in telling me to eat more or “oh, you don’t have to worry about eating this and that, or that I’m too skinny even though I’m at a normal weight and BMI.”
I just feel especially in America where we have an obesity epidemic and the rise of childhood obesity, do we really need to encourage people that being heavy is acceptable or the status quo, and then tell skinny people to put more weight on?
Post # 12
@Gerbera, well, you do know, only REAL WOMEN USE L’OREAL, right? hahaha. I must be a man because I don’t use L’Oreal then
There is a big difference between encouraging obesity and celebrating body size diversity and realizing beauty goes outside a size 2-8 box. You can celebrate somebody’s beauty without encouraging them to be obese.
Post # 13
@ Gerbera – YAY!
*dances around singing*
“I’m a skinny Bi-atch, I’m a skinny Bi-atch!”
Post # 14
unfortunatley i dont think this will ever change – in terms of what the “media” says. they complain when a super skinny toned hot celebrity gains 5 lbs, but then will condem the same person if she then loses too much. they expect everyone to be what their personal view of perfect is – but its not up to them.
you shouldnt feel ashamed that you have the body you have – you ARE a real woman! we all are! this “real” woman bullshit needs to stop!
i myself am on the chubby side haha…but im totally comfortable with that, and i know im healthy and my weight is healthy. thats all that matters. health and being comfortable! thats why you usually have such a huge weight range! mine is 125-150 – thats a HUGE range! I have always been 145, but i would look totally different if i were 125, i would look sick (and i dont mean that in a good way haha)!
my cousin has anorexia (but is dealing with it now) – when she was below her normal weight she looked so sick. you couldnt see her bones, you wouldnt say she was TOO skinny if you didnt know her, but you could SEE it was not her body! that was not how her body was made to look. now she is at a very comfortable and healthy weight for her – and she looks SO healthy and so great. she is not skinny. she is not fat! she is not chubby! she is who she is!
also – any man who is worth anything cares more about confidence then your body! if you feel comfortable with your body – they will too. trust me.
so whos left now? media and jealous females lol who cares about them? 😉
you sound healthy and happy with your body – dont let other people bother you. odds are those people are probably unhappy with themselves and are just trying to make themselves feel better by bringing others down.
Post # 15
when i was skinny i felt bad about it! i lost a lot of weight a while ago due to meds i was on, nothing i could do about it. i ate, a lot. my mom stuffed milkshakes down my throat daily. and her friends constantly came up to her telling her how worried they were about me and how they thought i was anerexic, which made her want to stuff me some more! it made me so upset because she saw me eat, she knew i was fine, but she listened to her friends. her friends who also saw me eat so i don’t know what their problem was. plus, it’s just not fun when people tell you that you have an eating disorder when you don’t. but i do think it’s good to make people of all shapes and sizes feel good about themselves, big and small. i used to complain about my weight when i was thin, and i know my friends hated it because, i was thin, but i always tried to explain that you can be insecure either way. and i was made to feel unhealthy.
Post # 16
I see all of this as a side effect of trying to make ideal weight a point instead of a RANGE. Healthy, beautiful women have a range of BMIs, not a set number of pounds depending on height. By defining a “real” or “normal” weight at a specific number, plenty of thinner women will feel less womanly, and heavier women too curvy. The range certainly has limits where health is affected, but no one should feel bad for being at one end or another.