(Closed) Do you ever feel guilty?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 76
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

EDIT: sorry for be long message. Had to vent.

I feel extremely guilty!! I picked the ring I wanted but it just felt wrong because of the price he paid. I thought for the LONGEST time having an estimate he spent was around $3000. It came with a band, so it was a wedding set. It was on sale for around $2500. I kept on drilling him how much he really paid and wouldn’t tell me. So I figured $3k. I was like guilty for that much because I was picky and there were a bunch of other pretty rings that cost a lot less! But my Fiance kept on saying I was worth it. So 3k it was. I was conditioned to think 3k wasn’t that bad for a wedding set for a while.

But then recently I found an old receipt at his place that said a lot more than I thought, more than 3k! That made me panic because I was like…..whoa, how much DID he pay for my ring??….okay….maybe $3500 I gave it at that because of insurance and all. Still guessing at this point. So I asked him up front how much he paid for real. And I told him for real this time. So he said “guess” (he likes guessing games for some reason. Not my favorite).”it better not be more than 3,500!”  And he said higher. $4000?? “Higher” my heart just stopped beating at this point. I cried when he told me it was around $5K. I couldn’t believe what my ears just heard. Are you FREAKING CRAZY???

right now as I look at my ring its very sparkly and beautiful i feel horrible. ๐Ÿ™ not worth that much. I want to trade it in for a lot less expensive ring like a moissy, but I feel bad because its been 3 months going on 4 since I had it and it looks pretty beat up and I already sized it from a 7 to a 6. besides its grown on me :)) and I wouldnt want to hurt my FIs feeling for working so hard getting that ring for me to turn it down and change it for something else.  ๐Ÿ™

Just gotta keep my beauty and live with it. Because I see my love watching me look at my ring all the time and him seeing and knowing that I love it by wearing it everyday and complimenting on my ring (and trying to keep it cleaned haha), I wouldn’t change my ring for the world. Seeing my Fiance smile means the world to me.

Post # 77
Member
324 posts
Helper bee

My husband and I lived together for 5 years before we got engaged.  So,  we already  had a combined household and income before we were married.  My original  ering was an heirloom,  so cost us nothing,  but i actually chose an expensive wedding band and paid for the majority of it myself as my income was higher than my hubby’s.  All our finances are combined,  so it really didn’t make a difference who paid for what,  it was all the same to me. 

I have recently gotten a new set,  which technically I paid for since now my hubby is a stay at home dad and I am bringing home the paycheck, ha ha.  We are both contributing to our household/family,  just in different ways. So I felt great about the new set because it was within our means and didn’t put a burden on us at all. I suppose the money could’ve been spent elsewhere,  like a big vacation or something,  but I’ll be wearing the rings for a lifetime,  so I don’t feel guilty about the purchase. 

I suppose we are very non traditional,  but it works for us! 

Post # 78
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 

View original reply
earlybirdwing:  I love this! My husband is hoping to be a stay at home dad some day, too. 

Post # 79
Member
324 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
wyomingbee:  thanks,  it definitely helps that my husband is an amazing cook as well as a great dad ๐Ÿ™‚

I love that you prioritize your snowmobiles! I bet that’s so much fun! 

Post # 80
Member
3225 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
emibee:  I never felt guilt because we both decided what budget would work for us and we stuck to it. It’s definitely you should discuss and agree on. 

Post # 81
Member
9874 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I certainly did feel guilty, mine is a 0.61ct F colour yellow gold Tiffany Setting from T&Co, costing $8850. But over time (it has been over 4 years) the guilt goes away.

Post # 83
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
emibee:  Hah. This is probably terrible of me, but I feel no guilt. My fiance was engaged before me and his ex picked a 23k engagement ring. He told me when he signed the check to buy it, all he could think about was how he could have bought 2 motorcycles, maybe even 3 with that amount of money. 

I never wanted a diamond and ended up falling in love with a setting that was perfect for me and under what we were expecting. Let’s just say we spent less than 1/4 on my engagement ring, stone, and matching wedding band than he had spent previously. 

It also helps that we consider our money “ours”, so it’s not his purchase, it’s ours. We picked it out together and we’re paying for it together. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 84
Member
1256 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My Fiance spent a lot on my e-ring. I let him set the budget, though, and then picked what I wanted.  He knows that I love jewelry and that I have some nice jewelry and wanted my e-ring to be the star of my collection (and it is!). I feel a little bad, but I am just putting the amount in our wedding budget and paying for more of our wedding. We still have separate households, so it’s hard to call it “our” money right now, but it will be when we put everything together.

The topic ‘Do you ever feel guilty?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors