Post # 1
Some days I just feel so discouraged…like it’s never going to happen for me. ARGH! I need to work on patience. Engagement season is driving me crazy this year! Happy for all of my friends, but when my mom calls laughing to tell me “Your 18 year old cousin beat you and got engaged to his 18 year old girlfriend before you got engaged!” it definitely feels like a slap in the face. Happy for the two of them…angry that my mom thought it was hilarious that they “beat me.”
Watching everyone else get engaged just makes me feel like it’s never going to happen for me! I thought it was coming soon for me, but now it seems like it may be longer than I thought.
SO asked my dad on Christmas eve and apparently told him he’s been thinking about it for over a year but wanted to wait until he knew what was going on with his job (which he just figured out before Christmas).
I thought that it might happen over the holidays but it didn’t, which was ok because he told me a long time ago that he doesn’t want to do it on a holiday.
Yesterday, he was talking about needing a new computer, but that he also needs to go get me “that ring.” Apparently he hasn’t gotten that yet. I can’t tell if he’s trying to mess with me and throw me off or if he’s telling the truth.
Just frustrated because I thought we were closer to it than we appear to be. Thought the wait was almost over but it’s back to feeling indefinite. And it’s going to feel like forever and I have no patience and I need to go back to work so that I can be distracted. *Glares at snow storm* Normal routine starts on Monday again, so hopefully that will help.
Post # 3
@MissAmethyst: Yes I feel like it’ll never happen and I’m a lot farther behind than you. I don’t even have a boyfriend…or anything close. I have a younger sister who got engaged the same week I got dumped by a guy I really loved (half a year ago)…so I can relate to the part about your cousin. Your mom is a jerk by the way for saying that. Maybe she was hinting that you’ve been waiting long enough and should move on? But then again the fact your bf talked to your dad could be a good sign. Good luck.
Post # 4
@MissAmethyst: I know how you feel, trust me, I have been with my partner for 14 years and just found the ring hidden in his drawer and thought he was going to pop the question while we went on our vacation a few days ago but he didn’t. Knowing it is right there, it is going to happen but having to wait is SOOO tough.
It is a really good sign if he has asked your dads permission, but i know how you feel with the whole patience thing.
I really hope it happens soon for you but until then don’t get down, just enjoy the relationship because it sounds like a proposal isn’t too far away.
Post # 5
@MissAmethyst: I used to feel that way. I felt very frustrated the past two years after a slew of friends and family got engaged, married, had babies, and then when SO was supposed to graduate, he didn’t.
Now I supposed I’ve developed a thick skin about the situation as a whole. I do think it’s going to happen, might take 2 years, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years. I have decided that being married is not my ‘end goal’ in life. SO and I are on the same page and we are committed to each other and want to get married, and he’s even telling his family and my family this.
At this point, the BEST thing you can do for yourself is to focus on being happy with your SO. Unless you really feel like he’s not going to marry you one day (and only you can be the judge of that, sounds like your SO is talking to your Dad, that’s a plus in my book), I’d just try and relax and enjoy your ‘preengaged’ stage. This website has taught me a lot, and one important takeaway is that: Weddings are stressful and expensive. Why rush to have all that stress?
PS I mentioned this on the SIU pact-but do you think it’s possible that your Mom was not laughing AT you that your 18 year old cousin got engaged but making light of the situation? Don’t you think 18 is a tad young in this day to get engaged? It’s different for everyone (I’m in the south of USA and yeah, I have cousins/family members who have married young and some have worked out, some have not). Just my opinion.
Post # 6
it’s possible that she wasn’t laughing at me, it just felt that way. I know she wouldn’t intentionally try to hurt me, but the way she said it stung because she knows I’m waiting and knows that he asked my dad. They are very young to be engaged, but they are planning to have a long enagement. My cousin just became a marine and wants to get his career on track and his fiancee wants to graduate from college before they get married, so I think they have their heads on straight!
Post # 7
I can sympathise. He says ‘plans are afoot’ and I know he will do it, but sometimes I just think ‘I’ll believe it when I see it.’
His mum and I were discussing his birthday present from her, which is something I was going to get him after he proposes. His mum was encouraging and said ‘you’ll get there eventually,’ but I’ve waited long enough ffs! Haha
Post # 8
pretty much exactly how I feel…haha. I know there’s forward movement…his dad even introduced me as his future daughter in law, but I’m still on the “I’ll believe it when I see it” boat.
Post # 9
@MissAmethyst: I’m really sorry. Waiting is the worst! I think that even though you’re not as close as you think, you should celebrate the positives! He asked your dad, when he needed to make a big purchase he also thought about and considered a ring for you. And honestly, once he has the money and starts looking to buy a ring, things can move VERY quickly!
Post # 10
ARGH what is it with men and their computers?
My SO had taken me to jewellery shops, we’ve tried rings on, looked online, opened a separate saving account that I can’t see.
Then his pc breaks and he now NEEDS a new processor.
Bye bye saving pot. I thought he was saving like crazy?
Thh I don’t think it (engagement)really registers when he’s in gaming/spending mode. It’s like engagement is a separate little box in his head while its consuming all of me? !
Your SO had asked your dad though which is a great sign. Ignore people who make competitive comments – my aunt and cousin told my SO to “hurry up” – rude.
Post # 11
I can relate. For the past 6 months, my SO was telling his friends and family that he’s saving up for a ring except he’s ended up using the money as essentially his emergency fund. I didn’t like it, I can tell he didn’t like it either. I have a feeling that he will end up taking a small loan for it instead of waiting longer to propose. We’ll see.