(Closed) Do you ever feel like you give more than you get?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who gives more support in your relationship? (on all levels)
    I am the "giver" : (15 votes)
    30 %
    He is definitely the "giver" : (8 votes)
    16 %
    We're pretty equal : (25 votes)
    50 %
    None of the above - more below : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i think we’re pretty equal. we just show it in different ways. he’s more about actions and i’m more about words.

    Post # 4
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We are equal over the course of time, but it definitely goes in phases depending on what’s going on in our lives.  Right now, he’s really stressed and upset over work, so I am “giving” more emotional support, while he is “taking” more.

    Post # 5
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We’re pretty equal so far… probably over time it will tilt to where he gives more though. He’s always been a giver and I’ve always been a taker, haha, we actually talked about it early into our relationship, and now I’m intentional about trying to give back, and he’s intentional about letting me (i.e. being willing to receive). 🙂

    Post # 6
    1079 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I have those days. Fiance gets more stressed out than I do, even though we have similar jobs. So I guess I end up being more supportive of him. On the other hand he cleans and does all the chores that I hate, and he gives me back rubs, so that perks me right up! I have learned to say when I’m having a bad day though and tell him he needs to be supportive. I know that sounds pushy, but I think Fiance doesn’t necessarily pay attention to more subtle cues. Sometimes he does the same to me, but mostly when I’m being logical, rather than supportive about the situation, because I think there’s a better way to handle it than being upset. Being in a LDR doesn’t help subtle communication. It does teach you that a lot of things we’re annoyed about though can be handled just by saying something.

    Post # 7
    2404 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    i think we are fairly equal but we definitely show it in different ways.

    I am very affectionate and Fiance is not. I always feel like i am the giver and hes the taker. (probably our #1 argument!!!) BUT he is very patient with me and talks me through problems/an argument where i’m the one that throws my hands in the air and gets frustrated. (hes the giver and i’m the taker in that regard for sure)

    its definitely annoying at times because it feels like “i’m the only one that gives in this” but if you think about the little things that your Fiance does…maybe you overlook them at times..(i know i do!)…maybe you’ll see he does compromise and gives just as much but in different ways. 

    Post # 8
    2054 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I always feel like Teddy is the one who gives more than I do…but I think that in the end it is pretty much equal.

    Post # 9
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I honestly think it depends. He’s good about getting me flowers and taking me out to dinner. Not HUGE gestures but you know. I think I’m more supportive in the day-to-day things- backrubs, making sure he has something to eat at work… moving to Connecticut so he can go to school. I feel like it’s been a little more uneven recently and it bothers me a little bit and I feel a little under appreciated, but I’m sure it’s just the stress of everything.

    Post # 10
    651 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    He’s in graduate school and I work, so I make more money right now.  I give more material things that cost money, he gives more backrubs, makes me breakfast, and free things to show his love.   Overall it ends up being pretty equal!

    Post # 11
    166 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I think I give more emotionally and am more supportive/considerate, but maybe thats just women in general. He gives more in some ways, housework and financially..

    Post # 12
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I dunno – for us, it seems like some days like i give WAY more and he doesn’t give me any at all and I’m honestly sure that there are days where he feels the exact same.

    we know that it’s an every day thing as far as us giving to each other.

    some days, of course, though – i reallllly feel like I do give more.

    Post # 13
    5984 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    the older i get the more giving i become. it seems like i am always the giver in every relationship but i kind of like it like that 😀

    I think it has to do with a lot of things that happened as growing up. 

    My Fiance is a giver i just out give him! ahaha 😀

    Post # 14
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think it ebbs and flows in a relationship, but lately it’s been more me that’s the giver; I’m kind of prone to “caretaking”. However, I don’t think it really reflects the equality of the “love” behind it. It’s sort of like expressing it differently, and when it started to bother me I brought it up and he’s working very hard to make sure he’s giving too. So I think we’re just learning how to balance the give and take and make sure both our needs get met in long run.

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