(Closed) Do you ever feel like you grew up but your friends didn’t?-RANT

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

((hugs))

I don’t have any advice, but yes… I know exactly how you feel. They are all rapidly approaching 30, live with their parents, stay in toxic relationships, and run around like they’re still 15. I’ve been trying to branch out and meet new people… but it’s so hard! I find that I can’t relate with my current friends anymore, I feel like we are just at different place in our lives. I’m ready to buy a home, start a family… They are being taken care of by mom and dad and making bad decisions all the time.

Then they ask you for advice and get mad when it’s not what they want to hear… /sigh

Anyways, I know that’s not helpful, but I’m here to listen if ya need to vent!! I’m going through the same thing.

Post # 5
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m right there with you! I have a couple of close friends like that and it’s beyond irritating. So you’re definitely not alone!

Post # 6
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I used to, but I really can’t stand people like that so the friendships sort of tapered off.

One girl accused me of being “jealous” because I asked her to think twice about marrying a guy that a) convinced her not to go away for a year for what would have been an amazing job opportunity that would have paid off most of her $14k debt, just because he would miss her too much b) she started dating on the rebound, and c) wasn’t a citizen but wanted to be. I was just worried for my friend and wanted to make sure she’d thought it through, but she refused to believe I had her best interests at heart. She made it clear that she was only willing to remain my friend if I would “admit” she was making a good decision, and I wasn’t about to stay in a friendship on those terms, so I called it a day.

Life’s too short to keep dealing with high-school style drama, especially when it’s about grown-up problems.

Post # 7
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I totally understand where you are coming from, and it is so frustrating! I am the only one of my friends married, nevermind trying for a baby! I’m only 23, so a lot of my friends are still in the “drink, party, fresh out of college” phase that I’m so over (was actually never in it to begin with!) I just can’t stand some of the immaturity, and it’s caused me to isolate a few people which stinks. But I just can’t handle it. I actually work from home so it’s super hard to meet new people, buuut that’s what WB is for!! 😉

Post # 8
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve always been that way.  For a number of reasons, I had to grow up fast.  I never really was one of those drama and party all the time girls.  Life’s too short!

Post # 9
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@MrsMaine: You sound exactly like me!  We are 22/23 and my friends all tell me NOT to have a baby all the time.  It really drives me nuts, especially since we are going to be TTC by next summer.  Anytime I mention being married/having a family, they look at me like I’ve got a second head.  I was never into the “party scene” in college (which is why I graduated a year early), so why would I be into it now?!

Post # 10
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think I’ve been a tad bit more mature than all my friends starting at age 10 haha. I never dated anyone seriously in high school because boys my age were SO immature. I don’t even understand being physically attracted to a guy that hasn’t hit puberty. My Fiance is 7 years older. I’m graduating college early. I went away to KU my freshman year but I hated not having a job and depending on my parents. All my friends are still for the most part dependant on their parents. I’m only 20 so I can’t complain that my friends are living single, unstable lives because that’s the norm. However, I am the one with the logical advice and always have been.

Post # 11
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@EmilyJean:  I’ve always been mature for my age, and like you, my SO is significantly older than me (9 years).  He’s not immature or anything, yet I don’t really notice much of an age difference. . .until we start talking about things like songs that were popular when we were in high school, or things like that.  Lol

Post # 12
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I definitely can identify! My group of friends is a really fun group of guys, but they are typical 25-27 year old guys- single, out partying until 4 am in NYC, and they literally go out drinking like four times a week. I still love them, but I hang out less.

As for my girls, they are actually a little TOO mature sometimes haha. Although I had one close friend from work I had to cut back on a bit, she was 30 years old and would stalk the Jersey shore guys (we live near Seaside) and like flip out if they talked ot her. And she would like obsess about getting hit on adn stuff…it was just kind fo silly, immature stuff, all the time..really sweet girl but i just felt liek I had less in common w/her over time

Post # 13
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can totally understand how you feel!  Most of my friends are beginning to grow up but I still have one that drives me crazy every now and again but we’ve grown up together and I love her to death but sometimes I just want to scream.  When it happens i just kind of distance myself from her for a few days until whatever is annoying me has time to die down.  Sorry!  ((Hugs)) to you!

Post # 14
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

Oh ya, I have some of those. But to be honest, the friendships are sort of tapering off right now. Its very sad because I love them, but we just dont have anything in common anymore and its tough to keep the friendship going when we are at completely different points in our lives.

Post # 15
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My friends were like this right after college, and while my Fiance and I were going through something serious with his family, they were partying, still calling me asking me to go to bars, sleeping with their ex boyfriends, etc. I didn’t have time for it and I let it fade.

I’ve since met people that are more my speed, and I don’t miss the way things were with my old group of friends. I think this is just part of the cycle of growing up…you out grow friends and relationships and sometimes there is nothing wrong with that.

Post # 16
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I feel you I dont have any advice because unfortunately I am going throught the same thing!! It is hard. And your right it is so draining listening to all of the petty drama. Like I just want to make dinner and cuddle up with Fiance and our son. Like I have no interest in any of the other shit. I just wish that they would all grow up because sometimes it is hard. I try to cut them slack though because I know that I grew up a lot faster because I had my son 🙂 Still though ugh. Eventually they will get to your level or you just will not be as close. Its hard when you really dont have people that are going your speed!

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