(Closed) Do you ever feel your bridesmaids just aren't that interested?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yeah, mine are like that, too.  My maid of honor is excited to try to make tissue paper flowers…even though her dogs just ate all the tissue paper!  But other than that no one cares. Whatever.  It sucks but it’s just the way it is.

Post # 4
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

No one is going to be as into your wedding as you are.  Aside from my maid of honor and one other bridesmaid, no one else attended any of my pre-wedding parties.  I totally understood, because they don’t live in the same city as I do.  One of them drove me crazy, because she couldn’t even be bothered to write back and say she couldn’t make it.  Anyways, at the end of the day they were all there for me on my wedding day and I was happy to have them there.  I also had other friends who were excited to talk about my wedding and of course weddingbee.

Post # 5
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

the only one that really seems interested is my Future Sister-In-Law who is getting married 2 months later. we are in each other’s weddings, so we talk about wedding stuff a lot.  however, my wedding’s still far away like yours is, so maybe they’ll be a little more interested when it’s closer.

Post # 6
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i only have 2 and last month one of them text me to remind them what date my wedding was…..so yeah, i kinda understand..

but as louisianablue says, nobody will be as excited as you.  

Post # 7
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes but it doesnt bother me. Everyone has important things going on in their lives – I don’t expect my wedding to be the most exciting thing going on in their lives.  I know someone else’s wedding isn’t the most interesting thing in my life.   Everyone’s looking forward to having fun at the wedding, that’s all I really expect.

Post # 8
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@ashescats:  Well, I can’t blame the one who’s being made to sit at a head table without her SO.  It’s not nice to separate people from their dates, and head tables are a bit outdated anyway.

Also, the bridal party dance?  You could just shoot me if I was forced to do that.

Post # 9
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

Yep, I often feel that. But then when I take a step back, I realize that for the most part, it’s because it isn’t their wedding – it’s my wedding. Yes, it does occasionally get frustrating because I want them to be excited too, but I think they’ll be excited the day before and day of, and that’s what matters most! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 10
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

yep im the same, majority of my BMs are excited but my sister who is my Maid/Matron of Honor couldn’t give 2 hoots…. sad, my other sister says she thinks ther emay be a spot of jelousy thats why she is acting like this…. Sad to think they can let that over come them ๐Ÿ™ 

Post # 12
Member
9581 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well I have 2 MOHs that have been excited to plan a bridal shower and bachelorette party.  I love that they are excited for those, but I would also have been ok if they weren’t that into it–as long as they helped me to do those important things.  No one will be as excited for it as you are, that’s just how it is.  I am not planning on having them do much else other than those parties and picking out their dresses.  Unless it is something random (for example, I did send out a fb message poll with 5 invities and asked them to rank them).  I don’t need them to be interested in everything about it though.  They’ll be excited that week!

For the head table thing, I am considering doing one…but I would be placing their SOs with them if I do that. But if you aren’t having that then why does it matter that she doesn’t want to sit at one without her SO?

Post # 13
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@oneofthesethings:  Bleh, agreed. My Fiance was in a wedding a couple of years ago where he had to dance with the bridemaid that he was paired up with (who was really standoffish), which was fine until the DJ played exactly zero slow songs that we could dance to. They did a first dance for the bride and groom, one for the wedding party, an anniversary dance, a father daughter dance, mother son dance, and…no slow songs for the guests. We were pretty upset.

My bridemaids care, but they’re not actively involved. That’s okay, really. My Maid/Matron of Honor works full time (nights) and goes to school full time, and lives an hour away. One Bridesmaid or Best Man lives in another state, works full time, goes to school full time, and has a 2 year old. One Bridesmaid or Best Man lives across the country and works full time (nights). One Bridesmaid or Best Man is only 15 and, in addition to being in high school, is in band, cheerleading, track, and dance, and is trying to find time to take driver’s ed. The final Bridesmaid or Best Man lives in town, but she works full time, has a 10 year old, and occasionally watches her sister’s 5 kids. People are busy, and I get that. I don’t really need help anyway, since we don’t have bows to tie or poms to make or anything. 

I really just hope we get our dress situation figured out, haha.

Post # 14
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think that if you are having a head table and doing wedding party dances she should just do it and not complain. It’s not her day. It sounds like you based your decision to not do  these things on the fact that she made a big deal of them.

My bridesmaids are fairly good. A couple of them aren’t too interested right now.

Post # 15
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Most BMs will never be THAT excited about your wedding! They have their own lives that consume their thoughts and time. Hopefully you chose people who will come through closer to the wedding, but for now, that’s natural for them to not be that into it.

Post # 16
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Kinda….I’m getting married in my 30s, so most of my female friends have “been there, done that”, meaning they’ve all gotten married by now and most have kids too.  I get that life becomes more busy and complicated, and chose my bridesmaids as the best friends of the best friends if that makes sense.  Just a few that will be there for me, regardless of what else if going on.

But yeah, sometimes it is disappointing that I dont’ get the same level of envolvement or excitement that I gave for others.  ๐Ÿ™  Plus, I learned early on in the planning progress that nobody is as excited for your wedding as you are.  ๐Ÿ™‚

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