(Closed) Do you ever just get frustrated with waiting?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
5867 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes!  I’m no longer waiting (married years ago) but back when  I was it was very frustrating.

I think that what to do depends on what you’ve done.  My basic philosophy is that there are two types of waiting

1) Waiting to see if a partner who is not ready becomes ready.  Here the question is just simply how long you are wiling to wait and see.

2) Waiting when you both know you want to get married.  This is less harrowing but more annoying.  This is the kind of waiting I went through.  It made me feel very disempowered that he got to just pop the question when he wanted to and I had to just sit around and wait.

In any case, if you haven’t had a conversation about it, you should.  It’s important to know where your partner stands.

Post # 3
Member
1928 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes! I’m in a unique situation where I’m waiting simply because we’re long distance. Ahhh. I just want my ring. I’m planning the wedding but I want it to be official so I can tell people. Haha. 

Post # 4
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I just read that your boyfriend has revealed you will be proposed to. That is great to hear. Really just enjoy the time! I am sure he wants to catch you off guard.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  heartdrive.
  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  heartdrive.
Post # 5
Member
371 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
bnm97:  Yep! I am a waiting Bee. But what can you do really?! 

I’ve discussed timelines with BF/SO and he’s led me to believe proposal will occur in June. It’s a long weekend over my neck of the woods so fingers crossed it occurs then. BUT HE’S NOT GIVING ANYTHING AWAY! AT ALL. UGH!

In the meantime, I have tried to write in a journal my feelings about waiting and the proposal instead of approaching SO and asking him the same Qs over and over again. But eh, sometimes I find myself still asking! 

Currently @ work right now. Just gotta suck it up. 

Post # 6
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

When I was waiting with my ex husband- yes definitely. I couldnt understand this whole “wait” deal and I think it made things worse for a bit. No guy wants to propose to a woman who is upset about it or discussing it often. 

This time around and having already been married- I see the importance of waiting. That and my relationship is still new- not quite a year old yet. While I would love him to catch a romantic moment and say, “Baby let’s get married!” I recognize that men have to be ready mentally for that. Otherwise you will end up with a failed marriage (like I did). So I am just enjoying our relationship. We had the talk one (maybe three times), he said we are on the same page, and I have other goals right now that is keeping me busy- like studying for a CPA exam. I probably won’t say anything else until Spring next year. Hopefully he does it by then. I want us to move in together but I am holding out for a ring before making that step. 

The best advice I can give having already done this once is keep yourself busy. Work on something for yourself and use that to keep your mind off the wait. Try not to keep bringing it up. 

And yes- while it would be just easier if they did it now so we could get on with the rest of our lives, the hard truth is the world doesn’t operate on our timeline. We can only control ourselves. So after the talk about how long planning takes and stuff the needs to be reserved (for those guys that are clueless into what planning for a wedding entails) trust him to propose within your timeline. Marriage of course is about trust and that is a perfect place to start. 

Now- if he misses your timeline- I would check in with him to see what the hold up is “I am disappointed that we aren’t engaged by now since we last discussed it in month/year. Have you changed your mind about us or is there another concern?” But even then- he still has to make that choice and you have your own choices to make- such as waiting more or walking. 

Post # 7
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

In my case I was the one needing more time, so no I didn’t get frustrated waiting! He proposed after 6 years (I know that sounds rather long, but we started when we were 18) and it was the perfect time for me, but he was ready after like 3 years. In fact he had started saving for a ring but then realised I was not ready, so he went on holiday with the money instead hahaha 🙂 (There were no frustrated feelings, he was fine to keep waiting, he just thought maybe I would want to be engaged sooner but realised his mistake 🙂 )

Post # 8
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

Yes. Yes I do. No pun intended! We have been together for 6 years. I have been waiting since our 5 year mark. He plans to propose for our trip in October but the wait is excruciating. It doesn’t help that I’ve been waiting so long I have doubts. I have found that the frustration comes and goes. One day I’ll be perfectly sane and I’ll be going crazy the next. I’ve just being trying to keep my brain busy. Wedding Bee and Pintrest have helped alot. Pre-planning never hurt. Lol 😆 Good luck Bee!

Post # 9
Member
9 posts
Newbee

More than frustrated at times. The ups and downs are becoming to much for me lately. One minute I’m like wtfe and can go on with my daily life just fine, then I have moments of why , doubts and what is wrong with me, then moments of depression, then anger, then I’m done with this waiting, then it’s just enjoy what we have.. it’s a horrible circle. 

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