Post # 1
when you see people you know in these short relationships-turned-marriages who are definitely not showing their true colors?
I know, you can’t judge other people’s relationships. And really, I don’t care to–I have enough stuff going on in my own life. But sometimes I just wonder why some people do this; I’ve watched “friends” lie to their boyfriends/fiances about things, pretend to be nice around other people only to literally scream at them when they walk out of the room, manipulate them into making decisions that only benefit her… etc. They’re not really who I consider “friends” anymore, but what makes someone do that?
Ugh. I’ve just seen these two girls I don’t particularly like do this over and over to their FIs and I just wish that their FIs could realize that it’s emotional abuse. I had to vent.
What do you think?
Post # 3
I think I know where you’re coming from! My best friend has been dating her boyfriend for about a year and a half. They’re not talking engagement yet, or anything, but they’re serious. And yet, she won’t go #2 in the same building as him (even though they spend nights together) and was really freaked out when we all went on vacation together. She just didn’t want him to see “the ugly side” of her… I think she’s slowly letting go of that, though, and I don’t think it always has to do with time for couples. Some people are upfront right away, but I could easily see her holding onto this for another year or two!
Post # 4
Yeah, you just wanna be like, GAHHH be real for a minute!
I live in the south (obvi!) and people are just soo like “southern belles” here… they’re so uptight and try to be perfect all the time. These two ladies that i’m talking about would fall in that category. Then when everyone’s gone, poof, anger taken out on the FIs, over and over. It just bums me out when they just can’t be real with everyone, act like normal people and not hold in anger–it makes for an unhealthy relationship!
Post # 5
Ugh, my MOTHER is in a relationship with a guy who is definitely two-faced, and my mom refuses to see it. He’s emotionally abusive and she passes it off as him having a really sick sense of humor that she finds endearing. He’s bad-mouthed me to my face, and she still doesn’t see it. The boyfriend will do one nice thing for her every few months, and that’s what she clings to when something bad happens. My father was the exact same way to her years ago, and every boyfriend she’s had since. I fear the pattern will never break.
So yeah, I totally understand, unfortunately 🙁
Post # 6
I had(/have?) a friend who would randomly yell/kvetch at her SOs. I never quite understood why anyone would want to be smoochy with someone like that.
Maybe she’s changed, but I don’t really talk to her much anymore.
Post # 7
I’m also from the South and I see this ALL THE TIME! Especially in my age group (I’m 24). It seems like EVERYONE I know is getting married or engaged, it is almost “weird” that I’m still single at 24. I’ve been to many many weddings where the bride and groom haven’t been dating all that long, or it seems to me like it is just young love, not really the partnership of 2 adults. It’s SO EASY to get sucked into the Wedding Machine here in the South because it is expected of you. Unfortunately I think a lot of those weddings will end in divorce because love alone just isn’t enough you know?
And most of these couples haven’t had the hard talks yet– its just the honeymoon phase for them!
Post # 8
How about this one:
One of my guy friends was a big time partier, drinker, had lots of “relations” and when he met his now wife, he suddenly found religion and she still to this day thinks that he has never drank, done drugs, or had sex. They seem very happy, but it still seems like a lie to me.
Post # 9
My step-brother did this tonight, as in got married! 🙁
She is 3 months pregnant. I love my step-mom dearly and she was not thrilled about the situation.
I’ve met her once, at Christmas, and she wasn’t too nice, neither to him nor us. Just kinda stand-offish. Maybe it was the first time jitters meeting the fam. Who knows?
I hope it works out just for their sake!!
Post # 10
I’ve seen guys do it to girls too. It’s ridiculous. People are immature and should wait longer to get married or engaged.
Post # 11
I can’t stand our best friend’s Girlfriend. She doesn’t lie, she’s just a bad person. She upsets him EVERY TIME she calls him. She makes unreasonable demands of him…ugh. He always says he’ll “end up” marrying her. I just wish it was really his choice. He also says she’ll be his “second wife” (he’s a divorcee) which tells me he knows he’s going to divorce her, which means he knows they’re no good in the first place. It’s frustrating to watch, and I do sometimes just think “that’s not right.”
Post # 12
Mighty you hit the nail on the head as far as the situation with one of my friends. Her Fiance even TOLD us he knows they’ll be divorced after a year! I just feel bad for everyone. He obviously feels like he has to stay. Sigh.