(Closed) Do you ever put pets before people (family)

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

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therattlebag:  My dog is not just a dog.  She is a member of my family.  An invite is not a summons.  It is my house and if I want my dog about and about that is my choice.  Just like the person I have invited has a choice to attend or not.  

No one is going to change my mind on this.  I don’t ask people to put away their kids.  I don’t ask people to put away their cats.  I don’t ignore someone’s request for me to remove my shoes.  I don’t go into someone’s home and start rearranging things.  I go into someone’s home respecting their home and how they run it.  If that means their pets are around or their toddler is throwing toys or I have to go barefoot then so be it.  Their house.  They are gratiously inviting me over so I should respect their choices.  If I have a fear of cats then I would decline the invite.  I would never in a million years request that they put their pet away, nor would I think that they were basically saying “f you” if they told me that they would not put their cat away.  Their house.  Their pet.  Their choice.

Post # 32
Member
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

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1234qwerty94:  Sorry OP. Poor you, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot with this phobia. I hope you get to the route of it through therapy.

I would not want to shut my dog out of the room at Christmas. He is only small, very loving and dependant, and he would absolutely hate to be shut out. It wouldn’t be fair on him at all. My cats are a different story, I’d certainly shut them out for a few hours. I do this for people who visit with allergies, and the cats really don’t mind. It’s a big enough house that they can have their own space. The dog however, should not and cannot be shut out and left alone. It would be detrimental to his health and his behaviour, we couldn’t have him thinking he’d been left out or abandoned.

I understand where you’re coming from, but I understand where your aunt is coming from too. It’s a difficult and unpleasant situation. I don’t belive she holds the dog in higher esteem than you though. It’s just that the dog is just an animal. Far more dependant than you.

Post # 33
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

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Kikibear:  I can point you in the direction of about 20 scientific studies that disprove your perspective, but instead I’ll encourage you to have some respect for other people here. Just because you can’t find space in your heart to expand your definition of family, doesn’t mean that other people’s are invalid.

Post # 34
Member
528 posts
Busy bee

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Kikibear:  But we did adopt our dogs into our families.  You don’t see it that way, fine.  Some people see pets as material possessions and some people see them as family members.  I personally view my dog as a member of my family.  I was more upset when my last dog died than I was after the deaths of almost every human I’ve ever known that has died.  They are involved in our daily lives whereas those human family members outside of your immediate family typically are not.  Just because you don’t believe the same thing as me, doesn’t mean I’m wrong to feel the way I do.  If you want to think that a dog is the same as having a houseplant, fine.  I disagree and probably wouldn’t be your friend IRL because of that view, but you can believe whatever you want.  Still though, you come to my house, you abide by my rules.

Post # 35
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I have 4 cats, and I usually put them away when we have guests. If it is a larger gathering I always put them in the garage. I would certainly do so if a relative or good friend was actually petrified of them! Especially for only a couple of hours.

Post # 36
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

“If you can’t put up with my dog don’t come to my house “..

wow.. spechless….

Post # 37
Member
1496 posts
Bumble bee

Why should the dog have to be locked away in his own home? It’s his home too!

I wouldn’t ever shut my cats away for company. They spend more time in the house than DH and I do and it just seems cruel to shut them away.

However – I can totally sympathize with you for being afraid of dogs. I just don’t think your aunt should have to bend over backwards. If your anxiety is really that bad, I wouldn’t go.

Post # 38
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

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Kikibear:  She is part of my family.  I am sorry that you think differently, but to tell me that she is not part of my family is extrememly rude and mean.  

Post # 39
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Our dogs are rowdy, so we’ll lock them out when we have visitors. If they calm down, and the visitors can handle dogs, we will then let them back in.

There are, however, many ways in which I’d put our dogs before people. If my dog was sick and needed me with her, I would turn down a friend who asked me to do a favor, so that I could be with my dog.

And dogs absolutely are family to people who make them their family. When our shepherd mix needed surgery on her leg, we forked up $6k without batting an eye. Because she is family, and she relies on us to make sure she is happy, healthy, and pain-free.

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Kikibear:  If you don’t consider a dog as a part of the family, then don’t get one, simple as that. And don’t jump on other people for having a heart for animals…it makes you look bad.

Post # 40
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I absolutely would put away my pets for a guest.

My sister used to be terrified of dogs as a kid, and when we went over my aunt’s house, they would never put the dog away because my cousin (the dog’s owner) would get upset. Now that my cousin has grown up and has her own kids, she apologizes to my sister every Christmas lol…says she totally understands about the fear and wishes she could go back and just put the dog away. 

Honestly it’s one day. Put some toys in there, the dog will survive.

Post # 41
Member
860 posts
Busy bee

I seem to be in the minority here, but OF COURSE I would lock up my dog if a friend or family member was afraid! My dog is huge (think 120 lbs) and I understand that (especially for people who aren’t keen on dogs) he can be absolutely terrifying, even though he would never hurt a fly. I have a friend who is very afraid of him, so when the friend is over my dog goes in the crate. And you know what? My dog gives zero fucks. He lays down and takes a nap. He is completely unaffected and my friend feels safe.

My dog is my baby and my husband and I absolutely consider him a member of the family. But he’s not a human. His feelings aren’t hurt if I ask him to go to him room for a little bit.

TLDR; your family members are asshats. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  SilverWire.
Post # 42
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I LOVE my dog. My dog IS my second child.  My dog IS a family member, and our home is her home, BUT I have definitely put her in our bedroom a time or 20 or 30 for her safety, and for the comfort of visitors that come into our house.  Even when a request is NOT made to do so, we make these choices as we see fit.  A 90lb German Shephard + a house full of guests = chaos.  Especially when there are young children running, and/or our elderly family members barely standing balanced.  If I am being completely honest, I do it for the dog’s comfort moreso than anything, because then I feel like I would be ‘yelling’ at her all day to sit, lay down, get out of way!!!  She is a very well-behaved dog, but LOVES being around people.  We call her our traveling area rug…

But, I digress, because those are cases where we make the decision to make the event a little less hectic.  I would absolutely do it to make a guest or 2 more comfortable, especially a family member, especially around a holiday where family and friends are celebrated.  I am a HUGE humanizer of my pets.  I have to often talk myself out of anxiety over how my pet is thinking or feeling (seriously), but I can say with certainty that my dog will not remember or begrude me missing a Christmas get together (because they do not know what Christmas is…), whereas a family member would!!!!  Your Aunt is wrong.

Post # 43
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Tybee Island, GA

If i know my dog is not harmful, I definately wouldn’t put them away. I have 2 dogs and I dont lock them up, because they’d just bark to get out the whole time. That being said I have two shih-tzus who never meet a stranger… If I had a bigger dog who jumped and got hair all over people, i’d consider putting them up for the sake of my guests… but i wouldn’t put my dogs away because someone is scared of dogs. My dogs wont hurt anyone and if people dont want to come over because they are scared, then that’s on them. I agree with other bees my dogs are my family, i’m not locking them up.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  gigglebox.
Post # 44
Member
341 posts
Helper bee

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 45
Member
321 posts
Helper bee

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1234qwerty94:  Yes I put my pets before extended family and friends as they are part of my immediate family and they live with me in my home. I see them every day and we are very close. I would not lock away my pets if someone did not like them. If someone did not like my pets I’d rather them not come to my home.

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