(Closed) Do you ever test without telling your partner?

posted 9 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I tested without telling Fiance. It was a huge surprise to him when I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to tell him I was pregnant. I have weird cycles and never wanted to worry him. I had tested several times before and didnt tell him.

Post # 18
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t tell him unless he asks and he seems to be fine with that.  He’ll ask if I’m pregnant and is sad to hear about the negative tests, so I don’t make a point to tell him.

Post # 19
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I tested all the time without telling him. Although he is aware I’m a little loopy — I allow him the grace of thinking it not quite so loopy as the reality. Hah!

Post # 20
3263 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I tested once a while back when I was late for my period but we were still on birth control. I didn’t want him to make fun of me for being crazy. I was only 1 day late lol, AF came the next day. Now that we are actively TTC I tell him when I test, even if I don’t want to because it’s too early. He pretty much knows now that if there are tests in the house, I’m going to be peeing on them. I am trying not to buy anymore until I really think I need one!

Post # 21
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

All the time. He doesn’t know I test early, but I do almost every month.  I don’t need to put him on the crazy rollercoaster with me – I actually prefer he be out of the loop on that.  I’ll tell him when I get a positive.

Post # 22
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t tell MrDane until after I got a BFP.  I actually tested over my lunch break (do not suggest- it made it VERRRRY difficult to concentrate the rest of the day!)

I loved being able to tell him after work- I got a card & a pair of baby shoes.  It was priceless 🙂

Post # 23
1193 posts
Bumble bee

Ever since the first test I ever took I stopped telling him when I test.

Post # 24
2683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

DH knows I have some, and he konws I took one last week. We had the condom break around day 14, but we weren’t sure since it was my first month without my IUD. He also knows that I’m likely to take some since we’re not exactly being careful right now. I don’t specifically tell him when I take them though. After all, I’d like the chance to actually tell him in a cute way if we got a BFP.


In past relationships during stints (however short) where we were only using condoms, I would take them whenever it seemed like a long time since my last period. I didn’t necessarily tell them unless they noticed it had been a long time. I always figured that I didn’t need to worry them needlessly because I was always REALLY careful and used a condom every single time.

Post # 25
3260 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I only POAS once while we were TTC and I didn’t tell him in advance. I told him I would test on the weekend probably and I decided to test the friday morning before work. Sure enough it was positive so I kept it to myself and told him later that night when we could celebrate together.

I had to POAS a few times when we weren’t trying and he knew about those.

Post # 26
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

In the past we had one or two freak-outs (or, rather, I did – there was never a real reason, like a condom break, I was just neurotic and “felt pregnant”), and I told him then because he could tell something was up and was already worrying.

Now we’re getting ready to TTC, and I don’t think I’ll tell him.  I think the less I tell him about the nitty gritty of charting and testing and stuff, the more romance we’ll be able to keep in it.  Plus, I want to be able to surprise him when we get a BFP (I’ve already bought this adorable little knit Notre Dame beanie to give to him).

Post # 27
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have tested once or twice without DH knowing, but once I ended up telling him I had tested and he was really upset that I hadnt told him I would be testing. My reasoning is that I dont want him to be on an emotional rollercoaster all the time (thats my job!) but then he explained that he wouldn hate to think I would test while he wasnt there and then I ended up getting a positive and he wouldnt be by my side.

He is really into the idea that if it is positive then we should be finding out together, thats really important to him, and something I totally understand. I couldnt imagine him not being there when I get a BFP, especially as we have been trying for so long.

Post # 28
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@roweboat:  I did exactly the same thing! A couple years ago when I was on the pill, I was late and took a test, but in my mind I knew I was not pregnant. Took one anyway to ease my mind, and didn’t feel like worrying (then) BF because I was being crazy. Fast forward to this January, I was feeling weird symptoms about 2 weeks after I went off BCP, and tested, even knowing that a BFP was impossible. I just had this compulsion to test. (it was negative)

Sooooo 2 weeks after that, when I was again feeling “weird” I went and bought a test, and plopped the unopned test down on the kitchen table for DH to see. He goes, “Really?” I said, “Probably not, but may as well see” Welp. that was the one I that turned up BFP… its like I just knew when to “worry” him 🙂

Post # 29
3134 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Always!  The way I look at it, there’s no need for both of us to be disappointed more than necessary.  If AF arrives I tell him, other than that he doesn’t need to hear about BFNs. 

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