(Closed) Do you ever think the BEE makes it harder during waiting?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When I wa waiting, I felt like it either made me more aware of what I didn’t have and wanted, or it simply helped me get through the process because so many people understood my stance, and helped to validate that I wasn’t desperate or crazy.

Post # 4
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I feel the same way! I love the Bee, and it is so nice to have a place where people understand how you feel and where you are coming from. But for me it is getting really hard to shut it up. I haven’t done anything crazy, mind you, but I feel like I am getting a tad resentful. If I can’t talk to SO about something that is on my mind, I get grumpy. I want to share this excitement with him, and the Bee definitely makes me more excited.

Someday it will be our turn and we will have every right to be as openly excited as every other happy Bee on here. Stay strong!

Post # 5
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

When I was waiting, I really liked it. I knew I wasn’t going crazy πŸ˜‰ and it was nice having other Bees to talk to about waiting. 

Post # 7
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

When I was waiting (wow, weird to say it past tense) the Bee helped me an astounding amount. Just knowing I wasn’t as crazy as I was thinking myself to be for wanting to marry and spend the life with an amazing man but getting a bit impatient was a serious calm-down for me.

Post # 8
Member
5065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I find it really helpful to know that other waiting bees are in similar situations. It’s also cool that I’m not the only one who pre plans.

I’ve learnt so much too, like before joining the bee, I wouldn’t have thought about an e-ring that wasn’t a diamond, that said some days it’s just too dificult to chat weddings so on those days a take a break from the bee, my longest break had been about a week a week, the bee is just too addictive.

Post # 9
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I think it is an ebb and flow situation. Some days the Bee is what keeps me going. I love reading the stories and seeing bees who through our wait have become like friends get their happy endings. It makes me genuinely happy! But then there are days when I think “get off this damned thing. Go do something productive!” I think it is kinda like facebook, you gotta get off it sometimes.

I hang on the Bee cause facebook is whack.

Can hit help your wait: yes

Can It hurt your wait: Yes

Short answer: “Yes” with an “if”

Long answer: “No” with a “but”

Post # 10
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It did before we had a timeline. I joined the Bee a couple of years ago, but it got to be too much and I eventually stopped visiting. Once my SO and I had established a timeline, I came back and have been active ever since. Without a timeline it was frustrating, but with a timeline it just makes me more excited!

Post # 12
Member
9201 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@HisAngel: When I was “waiting”, before the timeline and even after the timeline was established, I definitely stayed away from all wedding-related websites and didn’t go crazy pinning on Pinterest.  I didn’t want to obsess about getting engaged all the time, since I had already been as proactive as I could about making it happen.  So I didn’t look at these websites, and I probably only thought about getting engaged a couple times a week.  I think it would have made me obsess waaaay more, just like you are.  I figured I had a gazillion interesting things going on in my life, so why focus all this energy on this one thing that was out of my control anyway.

So I think it’s a double-edged sword.  Yeah it can help the waiting process, but it can also make the waiting process turn into a way bigger deal than it otherwise would be.  My 2 cents.  

Good luck lady! xo
 

Post # 14
Member
2949 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Like other PPs, I’m grateful that the Bee introduced me to the wonders of lab-created gemstones like moissanite Laughing The waiting boards also lets me get any engagement-related anxieties/frustrations/neuroses out around others who can emphatize which is fantastic. I do get moments when I think “Ok I’m sick of all of this” so I just log out and not visit the boards for awhile

Post # 15
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve never been a fa of the “shut it up pact” As I tihnk it is important for a healthy relationship to be a communicative one. That being said, I spent very little time on the Bee when I conciously considered myself to be “waiting” (my awareness of this status changed by the day or hour. If I was doing other stuff, I wasn’t really focused on it)

 

If you’re anxiously, frustratedly “waiting” for a proposal and you don’t want to talk much about it, I don’t really know how posting about it can help.

 

That being said, I’ve been tempted a number of times to vent on the waiting board in the past. For me, it was better to jsut take a step back, concentrate on the bigger picture (my engagement ring matters very little in the big scheme of things) and go on about my life.  When I needed to vent about waiting, I turned it into a constructive conversation with my SO.

 

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
21 posts
Newbee

I am divorced and have been lurking and doing a little posting on wedding boards (mostly for ring porn and wedding porn) since I got my timeline from my XH in 2006, even long after we were married and while we were separated. I just really like weddings, haha.

I’m at just under a year with my current SO and in my lurking here noticed the waiting board. I wouldn’t really consider myself “waiting” but just at the point where I’m starting to think about my own timeline and when/how I would like to talk to my SO, so I’m not at the impatient part yet. I really like reading about other people’s timelines and how they talk with their SOs. It may be a different story when my SO and I start talking engagement for real, then it might make me more impatient. πŸ™‚

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