(Closed) Do you ever use social formalities in your NON-wedding life?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: In the last three years, NOT counting anything wedding-related, how often have you
    hosted a sit-down dinner for more than six guests, or a stand-up party for more than twenty? : (138 votes)
    24 %
    sent a written (or printed/engraved/letterpressed) invitation or reply by mail (NOT email or website : (78 votes)
    13 %
    sent a thank-you note, welcome letter, or condolence letter by mail? : (233 votes)
    40 %
    Worn a formal gown with your escort wearing a tail-coat or tuxedo? : (66 votes)
    11 %
    Proposed a toast or given an after-dinner speech? : (57 votes)
    10 %
    Formally opened the dancing at a ball or dance with a set measure? : (12 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I am not into formality in non-wedding life, and I am also not into it in wedding life.

    I think there’s a big difference between being appreciative and courteous (sending thank you notes, sympathy cards, mailing back RSVP cards, etc) and formal etiquette (written invitations, address people by titles, evening gowns and tuxedos).  I respect the former, but don’t really want a place for the latter in my life, wedding or non-wedding.

    Not to say I won’t dress formally if someone else invites me to a black tie wedding.  It’s just not the way I choose to initiate my social encounters.  For instance, I’m not even coming close to using proper etiquette when addressing envelopes.  We’re only inviting people we’re on a first name basis with, so invitations go out to FirstName LastName. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I really like this and I think other people might find it a little snarky, but I don’t at all. Everyone I know is waiting for our wedding and is so excited to see what we’re doing because of our history with them. The Fiance and I throw dinner parties, host a lot of friends celebrations, I always send paper invitations, even if for a simple affair, and most people think that we are over dressed for everything.

    I have had limited stress while planning this wedding. (My stresses mostly involve cold feet lol) I know it’s because I have planned so many things that my organization and thoughts are more in line with wedding planning than other friends and such who have been married or are getting married in the future and have done nothing like it prior.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1986 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Surprised I don’t know what that last one is Embarassed

    Post # 8
    Member
    638 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Ummm…what is “formal morning dress”? 

    Post # 10
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’m shocked that (at the time of my post) there are 7 people who haven’t sent a written, non-wedding related thank you in the last three years!  Has no one given you any gifts or done anything really nice for you in 3 years?

    I honestly wish I has more opportunities to dress formally for an event, more space to host nice dinner parties, and that I got more real mail from people that isn’t bills or pre-approvals for credit cards.  I wish these social formalities weren’t so absent in most people’s non-wedding lives.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    We host sit down dinners a lot.  And my family has always been very big on toasts and speeches.  If we are having anyone over for dinner we usually find something to toast to and throughout dinner we go around the table and whoever wants to has an opportunity to give a toast or say a small speech.

    We also love dressing up and take any opportunity to do so.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I”m confused by this poll…but I love hosting large sit down dinners, and I try to send thank you notes, even if it’s just by email. We went to a black t ie wedding (long gown and tuxes) this year, and will go to several more next year…and I love toasting! Darling Husband and I do toasts at almost every dinner together, alone or with friends/family.

    Post # 16
    Member
    14496 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I have worked in politics a long time so a lot of these “formalities” were really daily events. I have hosted more than several sit down dinners and cocktail parties and love sending written invitations. I have always written thank you notes, my mother would have a fit if she thought I hadn’t. Formal gowns, I have a slight collection of these and have recently purchase my FH several tuxes for different occasions. He had no idea there was a difference when we met. He first picked out a morning coat for our evening wedding, that was really when it sunk in on how different we had realy grown up. Now on the eight beat measure, that one we both use, but we are avid ballroom dancers.

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