(Closed) Do you ever wonder if SO/FI/DH might kill you?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you ever wonder if SO/FI/DH might kill you?

    Yes, it's always at the back of my mind.

    Sometimes, usually after watching something scary on tv


    I haven't before... but I will now!

    He'd never kill me... but I really hope I never snap and kill him! ;-)

  • Post # 77
    5279 posts
    Bee Keeper

    After I watch shows like Dateline Mysteries the thought has crossed my mind for a split second but that is all. Thats why I try to avoid those shows cause they plant ideas in peoples minds that wouldnt normally be there

    Post # 78
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    No.  We’re old fashioned.

    Post # 79
    196 posts
    Blushing bee

    Nah, although we do talk together about how you would go about committing the perfect murder, esp after watching shows like Criminal Minds. With a plastic bag. Yep.

    Post # 80
    529 posts
    Busy bee

    My SO is a cop so if be wanted to kill me he could totally get away with it lol! I don’t think he would ever snap but when I come home after he is in bed from my catering job I remind him not to forget and shoot me because he thinks I am an intruder. I have a bad case of worst case scenario worries…think the Final Destination movies. I actually had a moment on the way home tonight where I thought “what if that car crosses the center line” and saw the whole crash play out. Yeah, I have issues 😉 

    Post # 81
    38 posts
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Anything is possible, but those shows (which I watch regularly as I am addicted to crime drama)  make it seem like a lot of people are like that, cheating, lying, stealing low lifes. The truth is that those people represent a very small portion of the population. 

    As for my Fiance, NEVER! He has taught me many self defense techniques and how to use weapons so I can protect myself. sadly, I am more afraid of my neighbors.

    Post # 82
    3245 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I think that if these questions come from watching TV or reading murder mysteries, I’m even happier than I already am that I never watch TV or read those types of books!

    Post # 83
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Ah, no no no! 

    Post # 84
    148 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    So a few months ago my first serious boyfriend (many years since we’ve spoken, let alone dated) killed his children. I have no idea what was happening in his life at that moment, aside from what the news reports contained about a divorce, but I was totally shocked. I would absolutely have pegged him for someone who could hurt someone by drunk driving, or getting into a bar fight that went extra wrong — but intentional homicide? Of his own kids? I agree that there are often red flags but think it can be so hard for many of us to fathom that those flags lead to murder until they do.

     As for my new husband, no way. But I was talking to someone about various exes’ poor behaviour and was asked, “Don’t you think that’s a sign you picked the right guy?”  I said no, it freaked me out because it’s just further evidence that people snap.

    Post # 86
    11324 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I’ve thought about it only because my mom has brought it up. A lot. She has seen too many lifetime movies, and particularly after the Lacey Peterson thing… she worries about people killing loved ones all the time! Completely not based on anything against that person either because “Everyone loved Scott Peterson!!” She even told me that she didn’t want me to bring my gun into our home because she is worried my husband would snap and kill me. And ya know, that’d be harder to do without a gun. 

    I mean… I think it is a little naive to say it is impossible. People do have sudden onset of mental illness sometimes and apparently sociopaths are pretty good at hiding the crazy for years. So I guess, theoretically, it is possible. But I really don’t think either of those things are true for my husband so I don’t think I’ll expend any really effort worrying about it. 🙂

    Post # 87
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    It’s crossed my mind more than once– I’m in a similar position, I have absolutely NO fear of my husband, and we have never even come close  to this– but I have a wandering (and somewhat morbid) imagination, so yes, this has come up in those wee hours; along with a variety of other morbid and horrible scenarios.  

    I do think he’s be capable of killing me, but obviously I don’t think it’s at all likely.  But I think if given the right motives, he could kill another person. 

    Post # 88
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Ha ha – actually, I’ve had this conversation with my Fiance because I guess I watch too many of those true crime TV shows…

    “They seemed like such a normal couple and then BOOM!”

    I’ve said to Fiance, “Do you promise not to kill me?”  We have a laugh about it but I have a facination with morbid things, so it’s definitely crossed my mind!

    Post # 89
    3621 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I read books about true crime, so yes it has crossed my mind. Like you I am in no way scared of my Husband. However, he has trained Ninjutsu consitanty since he was 5. If I knew a real ninja, it would be my husband. He has never, ever shown signs of abuse towards me so I’m not worried about that but he CAN hurt people really bad if he wanted to. LOL I worry for anyone who would ever try to harm me. 

    I do wonder what it takes for that switch to snap? Glad I’m not the only one who’s had thoughts like these.

    Post # 90
    6354 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Nah, it just couldn’t happen (except by freak accident).

    …but I did have an ex – we were both teens – who once told me in what was previously a romantic moment that he just had a mental image of hitting my head against a metal protrusion we were near, and killing me. We both found that disturbing. He was a very unaggresive but somewhat emo-ish, so I think this was more of a “tortured soul-y” statement. I wasn’t too concerned and he never showed any violence at any point, and now he’s ancient history.

    But I still sometmes idly wonder….was there any reality to it? Would he ever have?

    Post # 91
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’ve thought about it watching Law & Order/Snapped/etc…. Although just like most that have it’s not like an anxiety producing or constant thought. More of a curious want to know kinda thought. You hear about these couples that start out all wonderful just like everyone else, then something happens & one of them goes all nutso- I just wonder what makes it get from happy in love couple to murder in the bathtub couple… To clarify i’ve never been afraid of my SO hurting, killing, or laying angry hands on me at any time- I’m just curious why some people seem to come to that “no-way-out” conclusion in a relationship while the vast majority don’t. Are they wired differently? Is there a such thing as a kill your wife gene? Curious stuff…

    But ya, def. too much dramatic TV watchin goin on at my house!

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