Post # 1
I know I shouldn’t care what other people think of me at all but unfortunately I am not that secure yet. Maybe in the future but not at that point now! Anyways, some of the posts with snarky comments have made me think…I really and truly try to be civil and consider everyone’s feelings, though I know it is impossible to not upset someone at some point. But some people seem to blatantly put controversial or downright mean stuff out there. Not sure if they just don’t care or if they really don’t realize how rude they are being. Maybe the people who we regard as “trolls” seriously do not understand that what they are doing is disrespectful and not productive.
Got me thinking, I wonder if other bees view me as rude, neutral, nice, someone who gives good advice, someone who has no clue what they’re talking about, etc. I think the things I say are generally not too bad, but hey, other people may disagree! I am way overanalytical I know…
NOT looking for people’s opinions of me just thought it would be interesting to hear some comments on this 🙂
Post # 3
I’ve wondered about what people think from time to time… but the truth is, often you will never know. And – if you think about it some more – does it really even matter what people think??
Focus your time on being kind and polite to people and treating them with respect, and you can’t go wrong!
I also think that people view life with their own set of lenses… meaning, sometimes their reaction or interpretation of events has nothing to do with you – but with whatever is going on in their own life.
Post # 4
Oh @oracle, how wise you are 🙂 Very well said!
Post # 5
I care what people think of me to an extent. I don’t want people thinking I am something/someone I am not. And I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings on purpose or ruin their day.
On the other hand, people can like me or not and I don’t really give a crap.
Some people like to hide behind their computers and become something they aren’t. You see these posts and you KNOW people wouldn’t talk like this face to face in real life. Alot of the comments I see on the internet in general are insane. You would get smacked for saying some of these crazy things in real life…..
BUT to answer your question, No for the most part I DO NOT care what people think of me, esp. on the internet..
Post # 6
In a way I still care. I care a lot about if someone thinks I hurt them when I didn’t mean to. Someone that is close to FH that I was very close to is saying mean things about me now (he is also saying them about FH). It hurts even though it is not true. Hopefully I will get to the point where I would be able to shake it off faster (no matter who is saying it).
Post # 7
I honestly could care less…..but it is *never* my intention to hurt someone’s feelings by giving my opinion regarding the various board discussions posted on the Hive.
A lot can be lost in translation online though. Plus, I must say that I totally agree with Oracle!! Well put.
Post # 8
I do care, if someone thinks I hurt their feelings and I didn’t mean to. But otherwise, I really don’t care what others think about me. I try my best to be as polite and respectful to everyone around me, and I think that’s honestly all I can do. If someone doesn’t like me, I see it as their problem, not mine.
Post # 9
I care a lot, probably too much. And I’ve come a long way with how I communicate on this site, it took me a while to learn how to voice my opinions without sounding snarky. So I know I’ve probably upset some people along the way and that actually makes me feel really bad.
In person, I’ve never been the ‘popular’ girl, it’s always been hard for me to make and keep friends. I’m nice but slightly awkward. And I don’t do well in cliques at all, in face 100% of the time I’m the scapegoat for the clique, I’m always the one left out and made fun of. But it’s something I’m working on and I think with age it’s only getting better. But yeah I do really care if people like me.
Post # 10
Hah! One of the few perks of getting older is you start caring less & less about what other people think of you.
Post # 11
I think I’m perceived as a somewhat controversial poster on these boards (although I’m really not that way offline, I honestly think there is some heightened sensitivity on here) and do tend to remind myself that posting honestly will ultimately result in ruffling a few feathers, given the fact that this is a public message board with hundreds of different personalities.
Do I care what people in my everyday life think of me? Of course. Do I lose sleep over what a random person I have never, nor will I ever meet in real life thinks of me? Not especially. I usually just chalk it up to not being able to please everyone. I actually do a fair amount of self censoring to keep the feather ruffling to a minimum, but if it’s a choice between pissing off a few random people I don’t know or sugar coating my opinion beyond recognition, I’m going to choose the former.
When it comes down to it, if you can’t speak your mind on an anonymous internet message board, where can you speak your mind?
Post # 12
I would never intend to hurt anyone and always try to give helpful comments – even if it is not the most popular idea, it’s always authentic.
I would like to think that everyone likes me and sees that I’m always coming with good intentions, but I know that I can be direct and it won’t be appreciated by all. And I’m ok with that. I really do not care if people don’t like it, at least I know I came with the best intentions and if they can’t take it, too bad for them.
Post # 13
I care a lot about what other people think, even if I know I’ll never actually meet them. I’m a people pleaser in real life, too, and it bothers me when people don’t like me. The day everyone on the waiting board at the knot basically ‘yelled’ at me, I might’ve cried a ton. I’m really glad that at weddingbee, even if we don’t like anyone, we don’t gang up on other people.
Honestly, when it comes to this site, I just pretend that you all either like me or are just completely indifferent :).
Post # 14
I care– but not if people think I’m a bitch or whatever. Honestly, as long as I don’t come across as stupid, I’m good!
Post # 15
Nah, not really. At 35 I’m too old to play the popularity game. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m completely comfortable in my own skin. In real life at times I’ve been in the position of the well-liked and admired girl, at times been the target of hatred and jealousy and cattiness, and at other times probably passed judgement on by people that never even really knew me and labeled me just by appearances. I can’t possibly explain myself to everyone and hope that they like me, so I don’t even give it a second thought anymore. Heck, I don’t even like a lot people myself so why should they like me? 🙂
On the message boards I care even less if people remember me by a made-up moniker or think I’m cool. I just try to be polite and helpful and offer any constructive advice I may have. Especially now that I’m married and I’ve been through the journey I like to help others whenever I can. If it’s a non-wedding related issue I feel passionately about I may just speak my mind freely even when I know it’s not the popular opinion. I’m always careful to not hurt anyone’s feelings though because that’s who I am, I can’t ever be mean or hurtful. Not because it may make me unpopular, but because it’s just not a nice thing to do.
Also on the boards there are so many people that I’ve thought over time are sweet or intelligent or funny or cool, but then I tend to forget the names. So all Bees, if you’re awesome, it’s quite possible I thought that of you and then forgot who you were 🙂 The names I tend to remember are the more radical, more polarizing posters.
Post # 16
Interesting thoughts bees! Thanks for sharing! Like @jo.lee I think I am somewhat of a people pleaser. There are some posts on here that make me want to scream because I don’t understand why people are so rude. Yes it’s a message board and it’s anonymous, but some things that get said are just so uncalled for. But that gets me thinking, have I said things like that and thought I wasn’t being rude or snarky but other people thought I was? I know people want honest opinions, but I feel like a lot of the time people post on here to get validation of their feelings or to just not feel alone. So I try my best to go by the philosophy that I was taught when I was like 5 years old “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!” 🙂