(Closed) Do You Expect a Wedding Gift From the Bridal Party?

posted 12 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 32
1 posts

My husband & I are wondering why we have been feeling a sense of disappointment that a good handful of our bridal party did not gift a present or even a card.  Several gifted us their vocal talent / cooking skills / even flew in from out-of-state (which we are beyond grateful for!).  Even still, it is amazing to see how far a simple card can go.  Always.  Always. Always will we make sure – especially if we are in the bridal party – that we will gift someone, at the very least, words of appreciation for them as a couple and our best wishes.

We admit that have never been much about receiving gifts and maybe that has been something we have stressed too much.  In fact, our biggest care is that our closest friends were able to support us that day, share our tears and make hilarious & very emotional memories throughout.  Nonetheless, when we were opening gifts and cards the day after our wedding, it was a little heartbreaking to see that there was little acknowledgemnt from those we cared about the most. 

Post # 33
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t expect it, but it would be nice. I’ve only been a Bridesmaid or Best Man once (this past summer) and I gave what I could–a Visa credit/gift card that I thought would be nice to use on their honeymoon–with a card. The bride was a little caught off guard but that’s also her personality to not expect extras from her friends in that sense. 

I wouldn’t care if my bridal party did or did not give me anything. I can’t afford to buy their dresses and 3 of 4 will be traveling at least 2 hours and might be staying in a hotel. It’s their choice, I guess. I don’t really care about gifts. 

Post # 34
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I dont expect gifts from the bridal party either. They spend so much money anyways to be apart of all the extra stuff. I’ve been a BM many times, and once I spent well over 1500 to be a bridesmaid. Much of it was due to traveling costs and the burden of throwing all the parties.  

Post # 35
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I didn’t expect a gift from my bridal party but kinda was suprised that they didn’t even get me a card. One of my bms though did get me a card/check for my wedding and that was a shock because I didn’t expect it.


For every bridal party I was in, I still gave the bride and groom a check and card with well wishes even if I was spending money for wedding activities.

Post # 36
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I dont expect gifts from anyone. But they are always welcome! I kinda dont get the card thing tho maybe because im just not a card person.

Post # 37
13095 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

As a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I always get the B&G an even nicer gift than normal/average because if I am close enough to them to be asked to be in their wedding party, I am close enough to want to get them something really nice.  Costs of travel, dress, shoes, etc aren’t even factored into it.

I’d hope those who we asked would feel the same closeness to us.

Post # 38
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

i just had this conversation with my sister.  i said i wan’t really expecting anything.  i mean, there’s so much work and expenses that go into being in the bridal party that a gift on top of that seems excessive. on the flip side of that, though, if i was in a bridal party i’d still give a gift.  i just don’t expect one at my wedding (odd?  maybe).

she was in the camp of “if i’m close enough to be in the bridal party, i’m close enough to give a better than usual gift.”


Post # 39
13562 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I hadn’t thought of this. My Maid/Matron of Honor has told me she wants to get me a great gift, so I’m at least expecting one from her…? Haha.

Post # 40
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

A gift isn’t necessary, but some token of congratulations would have been nice.

We received gifts from 2/4 groomsmen and 2/4 bridesmaids. With the financial situations the attendants were in, and all the money we asked them to spend to be a part of the wedding, I never expected or wanted a gift from any of them… I was really disappointed that we didn’t get any cards or notes.

Post # 41
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was in a wedding last year as the Maid/Matron of Honor. I bought my dress, shoes, paid for the shower and bachelorette party, did the bride’s and a BM’s hair and makeup the day of so she could save some money and my Fiance was in the wedding too.  All told we ended up spending into the four figures and didn’t have anything extra for a gift.  The day after the wedding the bride posted a really nasty comment on facebook about people in her bridal party not getting her gifts, so Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor beware!!  Sometimes people don’t consider the amount of financial stress they’re putting on their bridal parties. 

Being a bride now and having been on both sides, I’m requesting that my bridal party refrain from getting us anything. 

Post # 42
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Of course a gift is always welcome, considering we have people coming in from OOS, we are all poor college kids, just out of college kids, not yet in college kids, or… Justin. So money isn’t exactly flowing. I figure, buing an 80 dress or tux rental is more than I can ask for!

Post # 43
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t expect them to spend “as much as their plate” like I expect from my other guests but yes, I do expect a little something as they are my closest friends. For example, my Maid/Matron of Honor is getting us Swarovski chapagne flutes to use at the wedding, which is more of a keepsake and meaningful rather than expensive

Post # 44
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Fiance has been a member in 2 weddings each time giving a much more generous gift. We would never NOT give a gift becasue we’re bridal party members- not a chance in hell.

So secretly yes, I’m expecting something. Now does it have to be expensive or something, certainly not… especially when finances are tight. THAT much I very much understand.

Post # 45
41 posts
  • Wedding: January 2011

@SoCalBeachGirl: I told them I didn’t-especially since all of them were flying in from out of state but the night they got in they threw me an awesome B-Party and gave me a Video Camera! Which was so unexpected and the best gift ever.

Post # 46
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Both my fiance and I have been in more weddings than I’d like to remember b/c when I think of all the money spent I want to cry.  No matter what we’ve always given a gift- genearly around the $200 mark.  In two years we managed to spend $7500 just being in weddings.  That doesn’t include all of the other weddings we’ve attended and had to travel for.  Oh god, I’m going to go throw up now. So yes, I am sort of expecting a gift from our members of our bridal party.  If someone is unable will I be mad or upset, no of course not.  You do what you are able to and being a part of the wedding is really a gift in itself. 

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