(Closed) do you expect financial help with wedding from parents?

posted 10 years ago in Money
Post # 32
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well… short answer? Yes, I expect financial help from my family.. because they’ve always said that they would, growing up.  In reality? My mother is probably going to deny her blessing unless we wait another year, and says that she doesn’t have any money to help out this year. 

FH says that his parents are willing to help out some, and to help out this year.  After we set the official date, we need to hurry up and talk budget! (Both of these will happen this week).  It may not be the wedding of my dreams, but it will have the elements I absolutely need, and we’ll be married – that’s the important part.

When it comes to my children, I want my husband and I to have enough that we can at least throw them a small wedding on our own, or make a significant contribution to their larger scale wedding.  I never dreamed that my family wouldn’t pay for mine until we reached this year and seriously began thinking about when to do it, and I knew I shouldn’t count on money from them with it.

Post # 33
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We dont expect any help from are families. We can afford to cover everything ourselves, so if the parents do end up giving us a contribution, it will just be extra or else we will just put it towards a house.

Post # 34
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I did expect my dad and step mom to, but if for some reason he couldnt I would understand. I would never ask for money from anyone, but I did tell him a few months after our engagement that if he was contributing that because he is the kind of dad that would be offended if we assumed he wasnt, and is VERY blunt and to the point. He is well off, and gave my sister a set amount. He always makes sure if he gifts one, he will gift both equal. My sister was a Out of Town bride, and gave me and my mom 2000 for the whole wedding -dress. I budgeted on what we could afford plus 2000. My dad gave us 7000 (my sister spent most of hers obviously on NON wedding things) Only reqirement is Budlight at the bar, even if its the only adult drink…lol We planned 90% of the wedding, then Future In-Laws raised the guest list significantly (FIs fault… he left out alot of people in our inital numbers) and decided since 70% of the list is their family that they are paying for food and Rehearsal Dinner (probably close to 7000) My ring was gifted from FMILs diamonds and they paid to have custom made. The flowers are gifed from their family bussiness. My mom and step dad are not in a place were they can give a monetary gift, but she has made my bridal necklace and helping make my veil. She says she is contributing with labor… and I rather have her than the money to pay for someone else.

We ended up changing venues to accomedate the new number and now we actually are having nothing out of pocket but the gifts to bridal party and family, tuxs and our kids outfits!! I may even have enough to pass on some help to the bridesmaids!

I think a wedding is a wonderful party, but that no one should go broke for, or be obligated to pay for. But if you have family willing to help you out and you accept, you need to realize they didnt have to, and may have strings attached.

Post # 35
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Expect?  No.  Absolutely appreciate?  Yes.  We actually are budgeting our entire wedding on what our parents are graciously giving us (we’re paying out of pocket for new furniture,  honeymoon, and whatnot).

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