(Closed) Do you feel guilty about how much you’re spending?

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll: Did you feel guilty about all the money you spent on your wedding?
    Yes, I wish I spent a fraction of what I did and regret it. : (12 votes)
    18 %
    No, I loved my wedding and wouldn't have done it differently : (19 votes)
    29 %
    Yes, at first, but in the end it was a great time, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. : (25 votes)
    38 %
    No, I wish I had actually spent more. : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Other, please explain below. : (7 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    1271 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I am so incredibly scared that once I commit to the budget I’m currently considering that I will spend the next six months feeling naseaus for the economic waste.  I’m curious to read the responses to this thread.

    Post # 4
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I don’t feel guilty for spending certain amount on my wedding at all. The way I see it, we only have one opportunity to do this and there is no do over, we want to make it as perfect as we want and can afford, so there won’t be regrets (what if) later. Different people has different idea of how they want their wedding to be. Some people were able to get their version of dream wedding with lower budget, that’s great for them. My version of dream wedding cost a little more so I have to spend more to get what I want. I work and save to get what I want, and wedding is one of them.

    During the planning stages, I kept saying “we spend this much for 60 people?”, my husband kept reminding that we are doing this for us.

    Post # 5
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I keep going back and forth on this.  My dad is paying for everything, and he’s pretty loaded.  On one hand I keep thinking “That’s money that could be put towards a house” and “We would still have an amazing time and end up married if we spent 1/10th as much.’  On the other hand, his wife (my step-mom) throws expensive, extravagant parties with even bigger budgets, and her son (my step-brother) will have an even bigger budget for his wedding, and I don’t see why they should get to throw my dad’s hard-earned $ around and we shouldn’t 🙂  I usually end up deciding what cutexkitty said- this is the one opportunity we have to do this.  FI and I are very hard-working and usually quite frugal, so we should be able to save up in the future for whatever else we want within reason, but we can’t go back and change our wedding.

    Post # 6
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    My wedding was crazy expensive. 255 people. Open bar w top tier alcohol. Hour and a half cocktail hour. 5 course meal. Chivari chairs and white dance floor. Etc. and in a hotel of all place. And we didn’t go over budget. My parents had money set aside for this wedding for YEARS. In fact, in my parents will they state that state that the first x amount is To go towards my future  wedding. The rest is split between my (married) sis and I. My parents knew I was going to get married one day, and they saved up money years in advance to make sure we got the wedding we all wanted (not just me and my hubs). We were also fortunate enough to have help from my in laws. Regardless, every time I had to sign a contract, I would have an anxiety attack/ it’s soo much money!!!! But then I would see that we’re still in the budget. And just remembered to  breathe. And in the end- it was beyond perfect. Nothing ostentatious. But plenty of food and alocohol (for the Russians) and the perfect ambiance and dance party for us. In the end, after the initial shock of the monies, there is no guilt. We had the wedding we wanted, and in the budget we could afford. 

    Post # 7
    688 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We are paying for half our wedding and my mother is paying for the other half. We both are in our 30s and I really do not want to go broke over a wedding. The way I see it if you can afford to pay for it then do it. The only problem I have is when people who are dirt poor take out loans for a wedding. I told myself I would never ever take a personal loan out just to have a big pricey wedding. I had a few friends who got married and a few months later had issues paying their rent and other bills. My budget was 10k but since my mom offered to help me pay for it I bumped it up to 12k but I am still worried that I am spening to much $. I am doing alot of reasearch and so far my dj, videographer, photographer and photoboth will all cost me 3k. I was a meeting planner for a large company and I know a few secreat to event planning. I swear alot of these vendors pray on the bride’s emotions when it comes to pricing. I am still trying to find a decent venue that does not want to charge me  100 pp for a Sunday! My advice is if you can afford it without going broke then have the wedding of your dreams! Also do not have a wedding to please friends and family because at the end of the day you cannot make everyone happy.

    Post # 8
    2822 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    It’s always in the back of my mind because I am such a frugal person in general, but in the end I know its going to be worth it.

    Post # 9
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Don’t worry, I’m totally bi-polar on this issue as well. I absolutely feel guilty for the amount we are spending on our wedding. None of it was a need they were all wants. I don’t regret it though….that wasn’t one of the choices. LOL.

    Post # 10
    7777 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I did. My parents paid for our wedding. I know that $10k is not a huge budget, but my family has never been especially well-off and that is a ton of money for us. I felt guilty for a long time while I was planning.

    In the end, I guess it comes down to cost and worth though. My parents told me after the fact that it was worth it to them to give me the wedding I wanted and to spend that time and money on me so that I could have something beautiful to look back on and be happy about it. I would honestly not change a single thing that I did and I know that that makes my mother feel good about it.

    And if it makes you guys feel better, our budget was $10k but it figures out to $153/per guest. We had 65 people at our wedding.

    Post # 11
    849 posts
    Busy bee

    I think anything that I spend that I can’t use later on I will feel guilty about. I kind of just have to get over it and do it. 

    Post # 12
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago

    I totally ride the rollercoaster of feeling guilty and then wanting what I want.  My parentsare paying for our wedding and are so thrilled about it all happening.  I’m the only girl, I have one older, single brother.  We’re having a city wedding with about 200 invited guests, my dress is nice, we’re having good food, a great bar, etc.  The thing for me is, I feel guilty about the money of theirs I’m spending, but then my Dad goes out and buys a sports car or does something else equally extravagant, so that makes me feel less guilty, because obviously the cost of the wedding is not cramping his style.  So that’s how I reduce the stress level.  If they were taking out a loan or canceling their 2 month trips, I’d scale back, but so far, they’re not.

    Post # 14
    1932 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2008

    I was the only one to have voted for, “I wish I would have spent more”. 

    We had a really low-budget wedding, and honestly got a lot of freebies I know that most people wouldn’t be able to (like my SIL has her own photography business and did the photos for us as our wedding gift and my grandmother made our GORGEOUS wedding cake). We spend about 3k on our wedding.

    Originally we were going with a non-traditional venue, it was a word of mouth place. A local pastor owned 10 acres on a lake with a gorgeous small church on his property that we planned to use for the reception. It was a beautiful place, and he was renting it for the wedding for only $450 including chairs/tables. We were having about 100 people.

    Well he didn’t hold up his end of the deal and the day before we went to set up and nothing was cleared out of the church and it was a mess. It was too late to do anything, idk what I would have done. So we lost our venue.

    If we had been willing to invest more $$ in a more reliable (“real”) venue that wouldn’t have happened, and I wouldn’t have ended up in tears because we had to move the reception to a church basement. It was awful. We did what we could to spruce it up, but it was sad. 


    Either that: I wish we would have spent more, OR I wish we would have done what my parents suggested and eloped. My dad didn’t want us spending so much money on one day of our lives, he told us we should go on a cruise or to Jamaica or something and get married there and have it be our honeymoon. Instead, we honeymooned in our state and never left the state, which we kind of missed. 

    Post # 16
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee

    Our wedding is going to be about $5000 for all of 15 guests. Unfortunatly my attire/makeup/hair/flowers/jewelry, photography and Fiance attire are taking most of our budget. The ceremony is only costing up like $450 bucks and dinner should only be around $600. Trust me I am choking on the amount of money I am spending just to make me look pretty lol, it just seems like so much for one day. I hope it is worth it.

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