(Closed) Do you feel guilty doing this???

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would wear it. But maybe dont mention where it came from.

Post # 4
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have stuff from ex’s but I see no use in mentioning where its from.  My ski jacket it from an ex.  I had (before it was stolen) a pink sapphire ring I’d wear every now and then from another ex.  They’re just objects.

Post # 5
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think that this is a young person’s phobia…

Similar as to how younger people seem to be so consumed with unfounded jealousy…

When you get to my age (50+) and been thru a lot more of life you come to see these “ideas” as being quite silly

I am about to marry Mr TTR

IF I was to exclude all the things in my life that happened to me, were given to me, or that I acquired previously in my life (with my Ex-H or not)… it would mean that there wouldn’t be a lot whole leftover of who I am now… just stuff that have come into my life in the last 10 years.

And in the big picture that isn’t a lot.

Certainly tho, you learn as a mature adult not to necessarily discuss “the history” of every single thing in your life, if you think it might make your loved one feel uncomfortable etc.

 

Post # 6
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My first boyfriend in jr high gave me a blanket and his shirt I still have them tucked in a box lol but i was an angry break up girl. No still friends here my before fi gave me a jacket and I sold k- although now that I think about it he  gave me a gift card that I bought a dress that I still use a lot ! Damn it op ! Lol jk

Post # 7
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i have a necklace from an ex-boyfriend. it used to be his. i never really wore it a whole lot, but i would carry it with me often. it hasn’t left my jewelry box since i met my husband. i always wonder what i should do with it. keep it, toss it? i dunno…i still have pictures, which i’ll always keep (not as a memento of my ex, but as a memory of the events/ocassions where the pics where taken). they’re put away in albums and my husband has seen them, but i don’t think he cares.

Post # 8
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

I have some annoyingly sparkley heart shaped jewelry I have no idea what to do with…. they’ve just been collecting dust. (Annoyingly sparkley as in “oooh, pretty…but…heart shaped and not from Fiance…ack!”)

I’d rock the beanie though 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I was with my ex a LONG time. Yes, I have various items he gave me and no I do not feel guilty about wearing or using them. Once they were given to me, they became mine. They’re just things after all, I have no emotion attached to them.

Post # 10
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

An ex gave me a really nice pearl necklace that I still wear. It’s a perfectly nice necklace, and I don’t really put much sentimental value in objects.

Post # 11
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I used my ipod for a long time even after I broke up with my ex. He had it engraved to say his name loves my name…. and then the date we got together and something cheesy like happily ever after. I definitely used it with the boyfriend I had after that ex, but before my fiance. Shortly after my fiance and I got together, I lost the ipod and got a new one. Not on purpose, it just happened that way.

I do not have an emotional attachment to things – they are just things. Infact my fiance tried to throw out all these sweaters his ex bought him when we first started dating and I refused to let him because quite honestly she had nice taste and he looked HOT in them. I just feel bad for her since I get to enjoy him in them and not her.

Post # 12
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Nope don’t feel guilty. No need to be. My ex’s are part of my life. I’m lucky my fiance doesn’t get angry because I’m wearing a sweatshirt or piece of jewelry from my ex. Its not like talk about the ex when I have this item on, but I think he knows some of the stuff came from him. Not a big deal unless you have a jealous partner.

Post # 13
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Well….. sure it is a material object, but to me those things are a reminder of a bad point in my life. So all of those things were either a)Thrown at the gift giver b) Thrown away or c) Taken to one of those cash for gold places….

Post # 14
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Until recently I would sometimes wear my engagement ring from my ex husband. It’s a beautiful 4ct sapphire oval surrounded by small oval diamonds…a princess Diana ring replica of sorts. It’s just about the most gorgeous jewel ever, and sometimes when I’m dressed especially nice I like to wear it as a right hand ring. But, I’ve not had the guff to wear it around Fiance and don’t think I ever could or will….that would just seem all sorts of wrong. I keep it in a closed box in my jewelry wardrobe to admire once in awhile, and will eventually give it to my daughter. 

Post # 15
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee

I used to have a few odds and ends. Jewelry, teddy bears (I collect them, so recieve them as presents quite often), even a shirt. But when Fiance found out, it really bothered him! I’m not sure what his exact reasoning is, but I’m not about to call his discomfort un-called-for. I understand, so I got rid of everything (read: gave it all to my little sister).

Post # 16
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

I still have things that my ex gave to me… some clothes, purses, jewelry, etc. I have kept it as long as I still want it and wear/use them. My SO now doesn’t know who they’re from and has no reason to know… I sold my engagement ring and wedding band though.

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