Post # 31
I agree with most – there isn’t “stealing” but it can be a dick move to name your kid the same as you knew someone REALLY close to you like a BFF or sister was going to or did.
For instance, my BFF of 15 years has always said she wanted to name her daughter Kitty. My hubby and I were having a fun girl’s baby names discussion, and I jokingly brought it up as I’m a total cat lady and everyone knows it. He actually thought it was super cute, and while I do as well, I’d never name her that. It’d be a dick move.
Post # 32
i wouldn’t share our chosen names just because we don’t want to deal with opinions. EVERYONE has an opinion… and it’s annoying.
Post # 33
Why can’t you look at it like the kids are sharing a name instead of someone stealing it? Why can’t you look at it as a compliment that someone else chose the same name as you?
Post # 34
babygrandmabee : Because its outside the social norm in a lot of places to name your kid the same name as a sibling or even a close friend. Most people aren’t going to share the name because now that it’s been used they will feel like they need to pick a different one. This, why it was “stolen”.
Honestly, if you use a name you’d never thought of before that someone told you they loved and want to use you’ve missed a major social cue.
And because there’s so much focus nowadays on naming your baby something super special and unique a lot of people won’t want to name thier kid a name another kid in thier life already has.
Post # 35
With my DS we shared his name once we finalized it after finding out the gender. He has a very neutral, traditional name, so I wasn’t too concerned about “negative” feedback (although people did tell me they didn’t like it..LOL). Honestly I’m unbothered by peoples opinions in that regard.
With our next baby, I’m not sure. We might announce it, might not.
Post # 36
Agree with PPs that I can imagine situations where people come off as total dbags by using the same name that a close friend or relative raved on and on about and said they were set on using, etc.
We’re 99% sure of what we’ll name our baby boy but we aren’t telling anyone until he’s born because even though it’s pretty non-controversial, people alwaaaaays have opinions and alwaaaaays have other names *they* like more that *they* insist are better.
Of course my mom flipped out about the fact that we won’t tell her and now calls the baby a totally random boy name that she pulled out of thin air which annoys the crap out of us, so I guess that’s the downside… but what can you do. Hopefully most people don’t have moms like mine.
Post # 37
We have names that most of our friends would not use because we’ve all talked about it in our close circles. My friends have veru different taste and so do we. We like Dallas for a girl and many people say they like it and idk if they really do or don’t but idc either. We have no name for a boy but if we have a boy it will have my dad’s middle name which is Joseph. I don’t think anyone would steal our names but I also won’t share among everyone (just close friends and family) I know until baby is born if and when that time comes.
Post # 38
hikingbride : Sounds like a lot of this is self imposed thinking. Most names have already been used so no one is original. Simply sounds like a perspective shift would help alleviate a lot of this non-essential stress.
To each their own.
Post # 39
eliuuuu : agree! People like different names for different reasons but everyone has an opinion on it.
Post # 40
We told everyone as soon as we knew the sex of the baby because my family is obsessed with Irish names (our heritage) so everyone is super competitive when it comes to choosing baby names. We had a baby boom in our family and have had 9 babies born in the last few years so it was a mad rush for names.
My daughter’s name is unique but not totally off the wall and I think it’s in the top 100 actually, Kennedy, and I have had plenty of people tell me it’s ugly but it works for our little girl and fits her perfectly. Our son is going to be named after my husband’s English heritage, we’re naming him Bennett.
Post # 41
I haven’t shared our baby name with anyone this time around because I didn’t want opinions. It’s not weird or anything, but with our first child we did share and we had lots of unwanted feedback. It was also not a weird name. I don’t really think you can steal a name and I’d be naming my child what I picked regardless.
Post # 42
When the time presents and I pick out a baby name I will probably keep it private, but not in fear of the name being stolen but to avoid feedback/opinions that I don’t want to influence my decision. It seems pretty popular on WB for people to discuss baby names but I guess I am the odd one out. When I choose a name I don’t want to hear how it reminds you of some acquaintance you despise or all the nicknames that could potentially be troubling.
Post # 43
@misskate18 is it wrong that I kind of want to know what those 2 names are? haha.
Post # 44
My parents had the name they wanted to name me “stollen” a few weeks before I was born. One of my dads coworkers wife delivered first and they named her the same first and middle name my parents had chosen for me. My parents decided to change my name. Who knows what different course my life would have taken had that name not been stollen *dramatic pause* hahaha! In reality, my dad didn’t work with that guy for much longer and his daughter and I totally could have shared the name.
Hubby and I are TTC – based on above story & unsolisited critizism, I don’t think I’d share future baby names before birth!
Post # 45
Names are ideas, and like ideas can be either common cultural property or new and unique cultural ground. For example, you would not be able to patent your idea for a circular, flattened object that sits parallel to a vehicle and allows it to roll smoothly and swiftly over a variety of surfaces – that is called a wheel, and that idea is common cultural property. Similarly, you can’t steal names like Mary, John, Kevin, etc. because those names already belong to everyone.
If you thought up a technology that allows vehicles to skim over surfaces like Luke Skywalker’s landspeeder, it would be a new idea. If someone else started producing vehicles that worked like yours, they would be stealing your idea. Similarly, really unique names like Moon Unit and Blue Ivy can be “stolen”, because they were thought up by individual people and were not common cultural property.
This analogy has some flaws – no one monetarily profits off a baby’s name (except Kim and Kanye, I guess), so stealing a unique name doesn’t have the same consequences as stealing a profitable idea. Also, Beyoncé and Frank Zappa are famous idols, and YOUR Blue Ivy or Moon Unit would be very unlikely to ever come into contact with THEIR Blue Ivy or Moon Unit, so naming your child one of those names could be seen as more of an homage and less of a theft.
But say you and your sister were pregnant, and you told your sister you planned to name your child something super beautiful and unique, and your sister had her baby first and named her child that beautiful unique name – I have a hard time understanding how anyone could NOT call that stealing! It’s blatant idea theft! That’s why I’m keeping my favorite names close to my heart. It’s baby season in my family right now (they’re dropping like rain!) and we’re TTC, and I don’t want to risk telling the wrong person any of the unique names I’ve get picked out.