Post # 1
My hubby and I are feeling discouraged. We make sacrfices constantly for each other, bc we love each other. We tend to run around in circles sometimes…
He gets depressed. I try to help, but I am not enough. I will never fully be enough bc he needs to heal. And it goes both ways.
What do you do when you love each other ‘too much?’
We’re hurting bad. =[
Post # 3
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. I noticed this is posted on the Christian board. Have you talked with your pastor?
Post # 4
It’s a harsh reality realizing that we are “never enough” for our spouses, vice versa & that’s a good thing and definitely a “Higher Power” thing. Thank goodness we don’t have to fill in those shoes of being “Enough” for the person we love the most! Because after all, it’s not in our hands per say! Definitley in the hands of the man upstairs! After being together for 10.5 years we finally realized that we can’t heal each other and that we didn’t cause their problems, we can’t cure their problems, & we definitely can’t control their problems. They will have to heal on their own just like you said and vice versa! You didn’t fail as a spouse and neither did he! Shit happens : )
Post # 5
I’m sorry, I don’t fully understand your question. I think you need to raise your self-esteem. Of course you’re enough for him! Have you considered marriage counseling? Or, since this was posted in the Christian section, have you talked to your priest? Church really helps.
Post # 6
Well I think that you need to be able to stand on your own two feet before leaning on someone else. It’s nice to try to depend and rely on each other but it sounds like you’re both doing that on an emotional level. I recommend counciling to talk about your relationship. You can quit at any time and it may be a well placed investment. It’s okay and extremely healthy to place limitations on sacrifices. You need to care for and love yourselves (and know when to take a break!) in order to be in a happy healthy relationship. A councilor will help you find that balance.
Edit: A priest is a councilor. There are also non-religious councilors. There are good and bad ones in both bunches. You may need to try a few before you find someone you both feel comfortable and positive about.
Post # 7
Could you maybe give us an example of an issue with which you are struggling? It is difficult to answer your question based on the information you have provided us with.
Post # 8
Could you two go to counseling at your church? Or perhaps individual therapy? It seems there may be underlying issues.