Post # 1
I see a lot of threads about bees who have so much input on their proposals, and it makes me wonder if there’s such a thing as being too planned out. Like discussing the act of getting engaged (which is different than discussing the prospect of being married), picking out your own ring beforehand, ordering it for him, setting timelines, knowing exactly where the ring is in your house, etc…
I understand that every couple is different and spontaneity isn’t everyone’s idea of a perfect proposal. But does anyone regret not having that element of surprise?
Post # 3
@Aquaria: There is way too much pressure about proposals and entirely unrealistic expectations. It makes me sad to read about people who focus more on, “OMG he wasn’t on one knee” or “OMG no doves were released and we weren’t in Paris” rather than what actually matters – the fact that another human being who you love has asked you to spend your life with him. For me, nothing else mattered except for that.
Our proposal was true to us as a couple and true to our relationship – what more could I ask for or expect? Maybe I should have asked him to write in the sky or something 😛
Post # 4
@Aquaria: I knew it was coming but I didn’t know when. I liked being caught off guard!
Post # 5
@MrsPanda99: was yours a surprise or planned?
Post # 6
@Aquaria: I had no idea it was coming. In fact, I told him I never wanted to get married 😛 I do know him very well so I knew that something was up but I didn’t know what. I can’t imagine planning an engagement with a guy. Kind of defeats the purpose of him asking when he’s ready and wants to.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
@Aquaria: I was so very very caught off-guard that I swore at him first I was so surprised. But I wouldn’t have it any other way – he did it perfectly for both of us, and I think if I’d been more involved me neuroses would have messed it up!
Post # 8
My FI got down on one knee and asked me to marry him after we had already agreed to be engaged. No ring or anything. It was more of a formality. It could’ve been more exciting but I’m really just excited to be marrying him.
Post # 9
I got less of a proposal and more of a “sudden job transfer so we have to figure this shit out RIGHT NOW.” I don’t regret it, and it will even be a funny story in a few more weeks when the long distance is over for real. I definitely could have done without the “surprise! Ten more months of long distance!” part. I think he was disappointed though. He had started planning a surprise, and then his job messed it up.
Post # 10
My husband was originally going to propose where we work (at a restaurant), but I’m glad he didn’t, because that’s where so many of our co-workers have propsed/been proposed to.
There are some times when we’re watching a movie and this elaborate proposal takes place and I say something like “I didn’t get that!” and then we have a good laugh. Other people tell me that the propsal wasn’t exciting, but they weren’t there, so I really don’t care what they think. I wouldn’t change it!
Post # 11
The location wasn’t great. My husband proposed in his kitchen after a day out to a theme park. He did it in a nice way though. He always used to joke he was going to get me a jelly ring for my engagement ring (you know those sweeties shaped like rings). He gave me bear from The Bear Factory and in the box was a bowl full of jelly rings and underneath the sweets was the real ring. That was cute, location was naff
Post # 12
Well I’m glad I picked out my own ring because I’d die if I had ring regret. There are a lot of ladies on here that I give credit to for being happy with what ever ring their SO purchased.
I knew my husbands’s reasonings for getting engaged at his apartment at the time; however I think I would have really enjoyed a more exciting proposal, like on a trip somewhere, or after a romantic dinner on a walk through a park.
I sort of wish that we either got engaged a few months earlier or a few months later. We had a long engagement and although it worked out completely perfect with timing, it gave me too much time to shop around for vendors. That gave me such anxiety.
Post # 13
@Aquaria: yes and no. While it would be great if FI could have pulled off a big huge suprise, I think the proposal fit us and the situation. It was during Hurricane Sandy- 1 week prior to FI having sugery to remove a bone tumor. He knew how important it was for me to be engaged prior to the surgery. After 5.5 years together I did not want to be “just the girlfriend” at the hospital. I know he was trying to surprise me and had it planned out, then Sandy happened.. and the Jewelery store (and our entire area) lost power for 2.5 weeks. He told me we may not be engaged before his surgery and he felt awful.
So I did want any waiting Bee would do… (not really) I messaged him as soon as the Jewelry store opened.. and 5 hours after that- we were engaged 🙂 haha
((( I should add that he had picked out and bought the ring prior to the storm and all- it was being sized right before the storm hit)))
What was really-really-really nice- was that after we were engaged. I had 7 weeks with FI home and all to myself while he was recovering
Post # 14
@londonchick: that’s a very nice proposal. Mine was while we were sitting on the couch in a rare moment when the TV wasn’t on. 6 months married, still no ring lol. But i’d much rather have it the way it happened than to say “ok, you’re going to ask me to marry you by such and such date. We’re going to be engaged for such and such length of time. This is the ring I want you to propose to me with. Give me your credit card so I can go and buy it. Keep it out on the table so I can put it on for a few minutes everyday just for fun.”
Post # 15
Mine was perfect. It definitely could have been more “more exciting,” but “exciting” wasn’t something either of us were looking for in our proposal moment. I was hoping for something meaningful. And meaningful it was. From the poignant, extended delay as he worked up his nerve, to us both awkwardly, shyly, stumbling over our roles, to his carefully considered words (which he wrote down for me after, because of course I was too nervous for my memory to kick in), it was very full of meaning.
It would have made a slow paced reality show for spectators, but it certainly wasn’t meant to be one. Excitement or lots of things going on would have distracted from the emotional depth of the situation… would have relieved the tension…would have made the whole thing more of a show we’d act out than something that we really felt the weight of. It wouldn’t have had the same meaning. The way he did it was perfect.
Post # 16
Meh. I didn’t have anything against my proposal. Actually, the truth is, he was so nervous that he almost let me leave the country without it happening and I pretty much had to help him along which was a bit on the unromantic side. It was pretty…run of the mill…but it was still very moving and immediately made me cry. Because OMG I get to marry the man of my dreams! Who wouldn’t be excited about that? Duh. I only really started to think about it when people started being all “Omg, how’d he propose? How’d he do it? I bet it was at sunset on the beach right? Did he hire a photographer and a guitarist? Lemme see pics, oooh ooooh I bet it was totes amaaazing.” No, it wasn’t. He asked me to marry him. I said yes. And he proposed with earrings, not a ring. Then I boarded my flight. It was special (for us), but not out of the ordinary. When I read the story he put on our website, I saw that he apparently has a much more romantic view of what went on that night so I’m glad I never acted disappointed.