Post # 61
Definitely with friends. Mainly because I’m young and they feel like I should still be able to go out with them and they really don’t know anything at all about my situation. A few friends are still by my side and are supportive. I feel like if friends get mad because of something like this then they don’t want you to do what you want to be happy, they want you to do things they think would make them happy.
Post # 62
yes! Especially with my bridesmaids. I have two girlfriends who are equally my bff. We’ve all known each other for 15+ years. When I said I wasn’t going to have a maid of honor, these two flipped out. Both of them think they should be number one, but I think all my bridesmaids are equally important! I don’t put one in front of the other. One was so upset that she wasn’t “first,” she didn’t speak to me for over a week. Talk about putting unnecessary stress on me. So now I feel bad and don’t know what to do. And I never realized how self-centered my other girlfriend really was until I started planning my wedding. Funny how their true colors are starting to show!
Post # 63
You are so right, you can set a tone here with what is to come depending on their behavior!
Thanks for your kind words 🙂 it’s always nice to hear. Oftentimes I just hear, “whoever pays has a say,” but also you’re right, it is really annoying when my mom acts that way and it is about Fiance and I! haha!
Post # 64
Oh heavens yes….most people really show their true colors during weddings….I have been soo disgusted with how certain people have been during our engagement….and more so as the wedding approaches…and how many people are willing to do things that hurt us (mainly emotionally) to push their own personal agendas making us miserable all in the interest of “being involved in our day”and “showing their support for our day”… and these same people are never around never involved with us unless it involves making it a show about them….its sad…but yes it certainly does….
Post # 65
OMG YES. One of my best friends (who was a bridesmaid in my wedding) is veryyyy well off and incredibly spoiled (after my wedding, I will say selfish). My other friends were wary of her being a bridesmaid because of this, but I wanted her to be in the wedding because we are so close.
Fast forward to the wedding. My mom arranged a spa-day for all of us girls the day before the wedding (spent about $400 per girl on mani/pedi/facial/massage) and this bridesmaid showed up an hour late for her appointments because she was spending time with her boyfriend. We had to pay for the appt despite her missing it.
She then left my bachelorette party early (which actually is OK with me, because she’s not a big drinker and we were getting after it that night…)
But THEN – she left the wedding with her boyfriend immediately after photos (like 5pm!!!) because she was “tired” and wanted to go to bed. She didn’t even stay for cake.
….seriously?! I’m really rethinking her friendship. I also haven’t heard a peep from her since the wedding. No calls, texts…nothing.
Post # 66
- Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle
I voted Yes, Weddings do bring out peoples true colours.. it has brought my sister and I closer and ive lost my best friend. She is insecure about me aparently disliking her BF and I think also that I am Happy and never really have issues with Fiance.. her BF has been pretty shit in the past.. But i am unforgiveable for saying two things that i ment nothing by and is therefor unforgivable?! I dont understand?!.. So now ive lost a whole group of my friends..
Post # 67
Absolutely… I have some folks really come through for me, and others not so much… My Fiance and I have ended our relationship with his sister, who was to be my bridesmaid. She and her secretly bisexual, lying, and cheating pervert husband is half the reason (he has tried to hit on her sister, mom-in-law, and me but I shut his scummy a*s down. The other half is her. She is a self-centered, rude, hateful b*tch and we want no part of it. She was never happy for us. She had a ceremony overseas with relatives that she hates so that she could bring him to the US. She has blown through her retirement and credit cards trying to keep up appearances. She is pathetic. This moron works in finance, by the way. Explain to me how she ended up owing thousands on her taxes?! She is trying hard to pretend to be happy, but we can all tell the difference. She was much happier with her ex-husband (who she cheated on with her now husband). For her, any husband will do.
They both lie so much about everything it is insane. We lived together and that is when sh*t hit the fans, and I had to cuss her out like the dog that she is. There is no fixing that situation, and I am not interested in doing so EVER. I am sure that one day very soon I will hear about the judge making her pay that loser alimony and child support (they just spawned a demon) since she allowed him to live off of her for years.
I have been a bit irritated by loved ones here and there (clothing choices) but I never confronted anyone about any of it, because it is not worth losing thier friendships over. I KNOW that they would not intentionally hurt me, and that is what makes the difference. My sister has been so annoying that I have stepped back from her and we are not speaking (FI says that he will deal with her for me, and he seems to hope that we will get along again) it just became clear that I was always giving and never receiving. Yes, people show who they are when you are doing really well, or at least they think you are.
On a brighter note, OP, we are date twins ….
Post # 68
I never imagined I would encounter any family drama when I started planning my wedding, but I was wrong. My fiance and I decided that we did not want to invite any small children to our wedding. My cousin has a baby and a three year old. I specifically addressed his invitation to him and his wife. He wrote that he, his wife, and his two kids would be coming on his RSVP reply card. I was nervous about confronting him about it (because I hate confrontation and I was afraid of upsetting him) but eventually I wrote him a message and told him that we decided not to have children at our wedding and we still hoped that he and his wife could make it. He told me they would see if they could find a babysitter. Not even 24 hours go by and he tells me that they can’t come. That’s totally fine. But then he gets his dad to call my dad to ask my dad to talk with me because he’s really disappointed that they can’t come because “some members of the family haven’t met the baby yet”. That really rubbed me the wrong way. I’m not throwing a $10000 party for him and his baby. I want him there to celebrate with me but I don’t want to feel like I’m being used. Anyway, my fiance and I do not want kids there and we don’t want to offend the members of his family that were told their children were not invited. My dad relayed this information, making sure to let him know that it was not personal at all. A few weeks go by. Then my dad gets a call from my grandfather. My grandfather said that if my cousin’s kids were not invited, then none of my dad’s family would attend the wedding! I’m so hurt and upset. My own grandfather threatened to not come to my wedding over something so petty. I called up my cousin because I’m so tired of everything being done behind my back. I told him that our decision was nothing personal and I was sorry if I upset him, and I let him know that I was very hurt by the way he handled things. He claimed that he had nothing to do with any of it and it was just “other people voicing their opinions” and they weren’t mad. I also called my grandfather to let him know that I was hurt and didn’t understand why they wouldn’t come to my wedding. He made up some story about how there was miscommunication and how he thought that my cousin’s kids weren’t allowed to come because there were too many people at the wedding so he wanted to give up his spot because “young people should go to weddings”. It was a whole line of bs to make it seem like nobody did anything wrong. I’m heartbroken, but I’m trying to let it go because I’m not going to let other people’s negativity ruin our day. It’s sad how childish some adults can be.
Post # 69
Shit, that’s a lot of ridiculousness to deal with! Good for you for calling them out on it though! I think you probably really shut them down and made them realize (hopefully) how ridiculous and hurtful they were being. DH and I did not have children at our wedding either. If people can’t come because of this, they can’t come. Do not let anyone guilt/manipulate/bully you into changing your mind!
Post # 70
Yes! My friend of over 20 yrs was my Maid/Matron of Honor and didn’t even show up to my engagement party, when I was suppose to pick her up. The time my party started she txtd, not called, txtd that she got drunk and was drinking since 3pm. My party started at 9pm. I decided not to have a Maid/Matron of Honor after that and we stopped talking. Then we meet up and she apologized for being selfish. OK, I accepted and let it go.
Husband and I eloped and only invited a few friends including her. The day of my wedding, of course, car was acting up and was stressed out that we were going to miss our own ceremony. I was stressed and crying to her. She then txtd me to let her know for sure if we were still getting married since we didn’t have a ride so they don’t drive over there for nothing. I txtd her back saying, “OK, we are just going on the motorcycle.”
She never showed up. We didn’t have reception since we got married in the canyons and once I had reception I received a texts message from her what was going on. I text her saying we got married! What happened to you? She pretty much told me that I should’ve called her and told her specifically that I was leaving to reassure her. I told her we were leaving on the motorcycle and I never said it was canceled. She went off on me saying that I’m probably bs’ing and didn’t even get married and she got ready for nothing… I apologized for the miscommunication and explained that she said to text her if it was canceled.
I’m sorry that I had to worry about her and making sure she was aware that my ceremony wasn’t canceled and made sure she didn’t get ready for nothing. Instead of worrying that I got to my own ceremony on time and being nervous and happy at the same time that I was getting married! Well, she ended up deleting me from FB and we haven’t talked since. I always knew she was selfish and only looks out for her, but this just really showed me that she was more worried about her getting ready for nothing, instead of missing my ceremony.
Post # 71
How annoying and frustrating that is. It’s funny how people can’t just come straight out and say what they been saying when confronted, but instead talk all the crap they want behind your back. I just don’t get it. Why say something then lie when confronted. You did the right thing to call them and tell them exactly how you felt. And you’re right! It’s not their day to show off, meet and greet their new baby. They should do that on their own time. I hope everything works out and they stop with the childish talking behind your back and accept its a childless wedding.
Post # 72
oh wow. that is just completely uncalled for. you did handle it correctly by going directly to the people causing the issue. stay strong and true to your decision! i am sure you will have an amazing wedding day!
i didn’t imagine that this post would get this get so many responses! i am very happy that we have a place to vent 🙂
Post # 73
Yes! I’m having a destination wedding, and we just wanted a small group of people to come my parents his parents, and his family just flipped out on me!! They said they were coming no matter what!! And when I say his family it’s mostly his aunt’s.What to do Idk!