(Closed) Do you fight fair?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who fights fair in your relationship?
    We both fight fair : (43 votes)
    51 %
    I don't fight fair but my partner does : (17 votes)
    20 %
    My partner doesn't fight fair but I do : (8 votes)
    9 %
    Neither of us fights fair : (17 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    14496 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I can honestly say that we have never had a fight.  He has gotten upset with me (usually unbeknownst to me) and gone to bed, but the next day we talk about what was bothering him, or he flat out says he’s sorry.  (Usually beer related). 

    Post # 5
    Member
    14496 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I understand that, we have been LDR from time to time because of his work, gone for months at a time. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Actually, I’m with tk. My partner and I don’t fight. We do have our small disagreements on the rare occassion but we both talk it out. We’ve never raised our voices to each other or anything like that. But I think that if it came down to it, I would definately be the one who didn’t “fight fair”. Though…. I could never see her hurting or upset so that would be really hard :/

    Post # 7
    Member
    767 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Well I’ve got to add to the board that we do sometimes fight! 

    I try to be nice, but if things get heated, I tend not to fight fair. I so regret it later, because my Fiance is much more even tempered and unlikely to fight dirty.

    Post # 8
    Member
    600 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2006

    I enjoy arguing so I separate arguing from fighting and fighting from disagreements.  I would say we’ve fought once where we were kind of yelling and a bit heated (NOT physically, and NO name-calling) during our 4th year together.  It was actually very productive because it basically ended something we had been disagreeing about for a year.  As for disagreements, we disagree very fairly but also rarely when we’re doing well.  I’d say the last time we had a disagreement was a couple months ago or more… we don’t really remember. 

    Arguing however is quite frequent and probably not at all like what you guys think when I say argue.  I guess better words would be debate and discuss.  For example, our last debate/discussion was about what color pants he should wear to an interview! 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2321 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We were arguing, fighting a lot in our first year together. I mean a LOTTTTTTTTT. It wasn’t always fair (thanks to me). But over the past couple of years, we’ve sorted out a lot of our issues and the way we argue/fight. We are fair and more often than not, we have a calm composure through it all. I guess we have realized that we will be together for the rest of our lives so might as well not waste time.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    My FH and I are exactly alike with out fighting styles and this can be really bad actually!

    Stubborn and really good at bringing other stuff into it.

    In calmer times we have made some ‘rules’ when it comes to fighting.  We are so much better now.  A little bickering disagreement stays exactly what it is, instead of turning into something bigger.

     

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Darling Husband doesn’t fight fair. He’ll say stuff like “I’m sorry I’m a failure” or “I’m sorry I’m a fu–up” because he knows it kills me when he says things like that. Makes me cry every time, then he apologizes like crazy.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    With ex boyfriends crying would work every time. With my husband, not so much. I learned pretty early that it’s not going to get me anywhere and it just gives me a headache.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We tend to have smaller disagreements than full-out fights, but we do both fight fair. Sometimes I feel like we’re on an episode of Full House, lol, because we’ll both sit down and say how we both feel about an issue, and then we try to compromise. But, that’s just the general rule, we have had a few pouty moments on both of our ends :).

    And OP, when Fiance and I were long distance for just a few months, I didn’t fight fair at all. I would definitely cry on the phone or just stay silent. I lived with a person who’s in our friend group, and I knew stuff got back to him sometimes, so when it got really bad, I spent a night just drinking a few rum and cokes and moping. We decided after that summer that we don’t do so well in a LDR, lol, and we’re trying our best to keep jobs in the area we’re at now. Kudos to you for just crying!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2872 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

     @Oneeleven: exactly like us.

    We used to argue so unfairly, bringing other things in, not backing down, etc and it would turn into a huge multi hour blow out.

    Now that we have rules we don’t fight, we may disagree but it doesn’t turn into these huge episodes it used to.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    5784 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I tend to fight more fair than Fiance. I like to keep the fight on topic whereas Fiance brings up everything about me that has ever upset him.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    We tend to bicker about little things and usually we fight fair but sometimes he’ll pretend to be upset to get his way haha, sometimes I do but barely ever. Usually I just want the last word.

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