(Closed) Do you fight more with your partner since becoming engaged?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: do you fight more since being engaged?
    yes, all the time : (13 votes)
    15 %
    yes, some of the time : (24 votes)
    28 %
    no.. us fight? never... we talk it out all the way ! : (24 votes)
    28 %
    occasionally : (26 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    We haven’t starting fighting more since getting engaged, but we have started bickering a bit more since he started helping out with the wedding planning.  It’s not because he’s bad at wedding planning but rather because all we do is plan for the wedding now!  We are ‘taking this weekend off’ and having date night on Saturday!  I’m excited because we really need a break from the stress of planning and finding our new home (and we need to have a romantic night out!).  Maybe you also need to set aside more non-wedding type time to remember the romance.

    Post # 4
    7152 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I agree with trying to have some non-wedding moments. They really do help.

    Post # 6
    1487 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Yes!  We had a fight last night, one of those ones that lasted until it was too late, and we were too tired to fight anymore, so we stopped because we were just tired.

    Over a cell phone.

    See, we have to leave for somewhere tonight so we can get there at 7.  It’s going to be close.  So Fiance mentions he wants to go to Verizon and get a new cell phone.

    Really?  I say?  Do you really think we have time for that?

    And we circled on and on and on until it finally comes out that what he meant was he wanted to go to Verizon, hold one specific phone and see if he likes how it feels so he can order it online.

    We made up this morning, when we fight like that, he always spends extra time in bed in the morning talking and holding each other, so that we get back to a healthy place before he leaves for the day.

    But seriously?  Over a cell phone.  And we’re normally such good communicators.

    Post # 7
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    No not really. We never fought often before and we don’t fight often now. We haven’t yet had a fight ABOUT being engaged or the wedding either. 

    Post # 8
    1250 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Yes – we fight a LOT more now that we are engaged. It mostly has come about from family drama…my in laws and my parents have not been getting along through the whole wedding planning process, and its caused a lot of tension/division for Fiance and I. Its been really stressful…I hope its a passing period instead of a sign of what is to come.

    Post # 9
    583 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We’ve fought a lot less since getting engaged, even though our jobs are both really stressful and we deal with unpleasant people. We could take that out on each other, but we don’t. Instead we use each other as a refuge and sounding board.

    I think the main reason is that we used to fight about when he would propose, and now that’s kind of been settled!

    Post # 10
    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Yeah we’ve been fighting more, mostly related to wedding things.  He feels like he’s not that involved in wedding planning and that I’m making all the decisions.  I reminded him last night after some more fighting that most grooms just show up at the weddings and that he shouldn’t feel bad that I went to pick invitations without him or that I met with the florist alone. 

    Post # 11
    5154 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    My fiance’ and I don’t usually fight but we *have* had more fights lately…mostly because my parents are paying for the wedding and are very generous/able to be so and his are also being awesome and helpful but they don’t see why we are spending “so much” etc and idk it has caused a few arguments…

    I’m lucky though because my FH is very chill and so we rarely fight and don’t have “blow ups” hardly at all

    Post # 12
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We didn’t fight very much before we were engaged, and we don’t fight a lot now. We haven’t fought about being engaged or getting married, per se, but there have been times, moreso when we first got engaged, when we (okay, I) got lost in the world of wedding planning and had to take a break. The only wedding-related tiff we’ve gotten into was because he is pretty hands off and I felt like I was doing all the work, but now we try to split the work more evenly.

    Post # 13
    18643 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    My husband and I rarely every fight.  It didn’t change after engagement or after marriage.

    Post # 14
    219 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Haha, is it pathetic that 3 months after the fact, I am still googly-eyed enough to pretty much just smile at anything he says? ๐Ÿ˜‰ But seriously, we really haven’t fought much at all since we’ve been engaged (but then, we didn’t fight very frequently before engagement either). There have definitely been times when I am under a lot of stress with planning and trying to get through midterms or finals, but it is usually just frustration on my part rather than an argument. For the most part he has been super understanding of my stress level and has offered to delegate simple wedding duties to help ease my mind ๐Ÿ™‚

    But I can definitely see why some people might argue more — it is a very stressful time! And we all know that certain family members/vendors/guests can make the whole process very frustrating. Just try to realize that you are in it together, and take some time every now and then to remember what the only REALLY important end goal is: the two of you being married ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 15
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    We got engaged so young that we really didn’t have much to fight over.

    Living together and managing a hh together has been stressful, made more complicated by parents’ contributions and college and work, but we can finally see the light at the end of this tunnel and so I don’t think the first year of MARRIAGE will be so hard as the first year of living together!

    Do we fight over wedding stuff?  Nah, not really.  But sometimes the wedding stress is a contributing factor!  Can’t wait til the honeymoon! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 16
    10 posts
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We fight more but not over wedding stuff.  In all fairness we’ve had alot of life changing events over the past year of our engagement – moving in together, getting my cat and his dog to get along, studying for and taking the bar exam and taking in and caring for a terminally ill parent.  The wedding is the one thing we look forward to planning and hardly ever disagree about!

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