Post # 1
To not bring up marriage and engagements? I’m constantly thinking of it! and find it hard not to bring it up! For awhile my boyfriend said he didn’t want me to mention it(because it wasn’t what he wanted at the moment) to okay with me bringing it up sometimes!
Post # 2
Sandy0607: It gets hard when I’m on break from school.. When I’m busy then it’s easier to avoid the conversation. We’re on the same page now so I don’t have to worry about coming up so much.
If you’re having trouble with it then perhaps you don’t have enough going on to distract you haha. Join a club, find a hobby or have a serious conversation about your expectations and maybe that will give you more patience when you start to bring up the topic in the future?
Post # 3
Oh yeah I totally agree! I should have mentioned more! It took over a year for him to finally be okay with marriage talk (he is divorced and had a bad first marriage!) we are on the same page, but I still try not to bring it up as often!
im pretty busy, we have a 2.5 year old together and I have two older children 7/8. Their father passed away and he realy has stepped up to the plate with them! so while I can keep busy, I find myself super excited for the future! Lol
Post # 4
lol! my now fiance told me the same thing “stop talking to me about it your ruining my moment”…im sure he was just buying time but im glad I waited cuz he’s excited opposed to nervous….It took him 6 years though!
Post # 5
I definitely find it hard. Makes me feel like a crazy person lol.. I suppose that’s what waiting bee is for :p
Post # 6
Is it weird, I never wanted to get married as much as I do, with anyone in the past? Lol. I actually vowed to everyone I’d never get married. And here I am. Almost 4 years later wanting to get married! And dreaming of it!
Post # 7
I think guys are lucky, they can turn off their thoughts. Dreams about weddings and engagements drive me up a wall. Occasionally I’ll bring it up to my SO to find he hasn’t thought of any of it at all during the last week or so! At first it hurt, because I thought he was ignoring something important to me. I think he just gets busy and so “turns off” the wedding thoughts. I can’t do that. My brain runs 100mph 24/7. I wish I could filter my thoughts better!
Post # 8
Sandy0607: I’m sorry but no- you have a child together?! that is a LIFE-LONG commitment! He can make that commitment to you but he can’t handle talk about marriage?! Girl, I would not be putting up with that. You can bring it up all you want! You deserve marriage! You birthed his baby for crying outloud, the least he could do is make the family legal!
Post # 9
I find it hard not to bring it up without being 100% transparent since there’s no opportune time to bring it up, apparently. He doesn’t seem to take it seriously and I don’t want to spook him so I avoid bringing it up. But it’s all I want to talk about on some days!!!
Post # 10
We’re engaged now, but I never brought up an engagement beforehand. We would talk about marriage, like “When we’re married…” so on and so forth. It felt like I would be pressuring him if I ever said the word “engagement,” so I never did. No talk about rings, nothing. We did that after we became engaged. We always thought a “proposal” with a ring was too in-your-face. Then, we’re not very traditional either.
Post # 11
I was really lucky & never had to go through waiting agony. Dh was all in a lot earlier on than I. That said, I had my moments. I remember telling him now that he’d brought it up, he was pretty much stuck with it–you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
Once that fuse is lit, I think it’s normal to spend a lot of time dwelling on it.