(Closed) Do you find that you stress more than your FI?

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

That’s our dynamic as well. I’m much more detail-oriented and a planner, his philosophy is “we’ll deal with it when it comes up.” Kind of irritating, but it makes us a good match. He calms me down, I help him not to forget important things, etc. 

Post # 4
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Yes, ABSOLUTELY! I stress way more than the hubs. He is definitely more laid back and usually always says, “we will work it out”. Of course, sometimes that is not enough for me. I want a plan and some structure but that is not how he sees things. I have to say that it really does help us compromise and work things out. He helps me calm down a bit ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh yes. I am definitely the Type A stressaholic, worrywart, MUST DO IT RIGHT NOW THIS VERY SECOND. He’s very more laid back than me. Sometimes i don’t get it but 99% of the time it keeps me from getting compulsive freako on stuff

Post # 6
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Most def!

Post # 8
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

haha that could have been ME writing that post, I swear, Roxy!  I’ve had many meltdowns in the past few months, and one of the things that makes it even worse is when he doesn’t seem to be worried one bit!  haha, i feel like I need to freak out enough for both of us!

Post # 9
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That was so us!! I say WAS bc that was us months ago. I was constantly tearing myself up over the money, and where it would come from!My Fiance had lost his job right after Christmas and money was tight!  meanwhile my Fiance was “don’t worry… we’ll figure it out”  drove me batty!!! Now that it’s closer to the wedding things have fallen into place and the stress level was taken way down!!  LOTS of praying!!! Don’t worry, you’re not alone in this ๐Ÿ™‚  and like the other ladies- we work well together, I’m more structed and he helps me not to stress over every little thing!  Hang in there ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

On a daily basis I stress more, but surprisingly in times of crisis: he’s the stressball & I’m calm!

Post # 11
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was wondering if this was a trick question.

 I stress alot but FH is very good at calming me or irritating me with the ‘we will be right’ but I have learnt that no one is going to care more about this wedding than I will, so of course Im going to be stressed. But it is how I choose to manage it is the make or break factor, days off from wedding stuff.. date nights, social life. Buying a stressball.. making checklists is how I deal with it.

Sometimes it gets to much, and its just solved with a hug from FH and  those annoying and iritating words ‘we will be right’ but they say if you can survive wedding planning you can survive anything.. Im starting to think thats right!


Post # 12
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are in a similar position, and I think we switch off about being stressed about life at different times.  I also think we have different ways of expressing our stress, so perhaps that is what is going on with him.  I’ll not sleep sometimes thinking about everything and not know how he can be sleeping so peacefully, and then I’ll find a spreadsheet with all of our upcoming spending and how to manage costs on building a house, and know he’s been thinking about it too.  Most of the time he’s of the “it will all work out, don’t worry about it”  if I ask though.  Maybe your Fiance is thinking about it and trying not to add to your stress by being visibly stressed in front of you.  Or maybe he’s just not the stressed out type of person in general.  Find a way to get away from the money and costs for a few days to allow yourself to destress.  Or sit down with what money you have, what you’ve spent, what you have to pay,etc.  Once you know where you really are, it might help make some decisions as you go forward.

Post # 13
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

that’s pretty much how things worked with us too. it’s definitely calmed down for me now… and i’m trying to take FI’s approach… ‘it’ll all work out, we’ll make it work” attitude…

the only thing i’m stressing now about is my dad’s growing list of guests! ๐Ÿ™

Post # 14
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

we take our turns. usually it’s me stressing out and going crazy, and crying over irrational things (thinking we’re going broke, going crazy over the wedding budget, etc.) but as we got closer to the wedding, my husband was the one stressing out and going nuts, and i was fine. i think because he was stressing out i knew he was getting things done, so i was like whatever, i know it will get done. and i could see what it was doing to him, and it was stupid, so i didn’t do it to myself.

Post # 15
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Yes! This is so us! We’re like so many other bee couples out there. I’m a major worry-wart, and he’s my rock who calms me down. I couldn’t have made it through the wedding planning process without him b/c he was my rational voice when I was completely flipping out. And I love him for it.

I do tend to worry when he gets stressed. We were having issues with our tenants recently, and he’s at the tail end of finishing school, and he was ridiculously stressed out dealing with everything. When he’s stressed, I’m the voice of reason which is such a role reversal! But we compliment each other well with that.

Post # 16
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

ugh, most definitely!! i’m the worry-wort / anxiety- ridden / nail bitter….. hes the “things-will-work-out-on-their-own-why-are-you-worried-about-anything-and-everything” type. It definitely can be annoying but, like other posters, we balance each other out. He calms my nerves and gives me perspective, i remind him that sometimes things just don’t “fall into place”.

I ‘m freaking out right now because we are moving in 5 months… we both don’t have jobs lined up, don’t know where we will live, and wedding planning on top of all that. I lose sleep and worry constantly, he says “we’ll figure it out 2 weeks before we move”!! what!??

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