Do you find the bee helpful? What ideas/advice have you taken and used IRL?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
5462 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

anonbee123123 :  

I came for some wedding things but I’ve found sooooooo much more, I’m not really here for weddings anymore.

I’ve been dealt an interesting hand in life and this site has shown me that I’m not alone. Like, not even close. I like being someone on the outside of all of the hurt so that I can give someone advice who is right in the thick of it.

I’m mostly here for the emotional and family drama boards. I like to see the rings too though 😊

Post # 3
Member
6540 posts
Bee Keeper

Yes. I landed on the Bee when I was trying to decide upon a ring. I’ve learned a great deal about traditions and expectations in other cultures not just about weddings but other things as well. I’ve stayed for support and to support others. 

Post # 4
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I didn’t know about Moissanite before the bee and now I’m converted! 

Post # 5
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

Sansa85 :  I’m with you on that. 

My ex wasn’t ready to marry me two weeks before the wedding. He would gaslight me/ was emotionaly abusive. The bees helped me realize that I deserve better. Now I am dating a wonderful man and did not realize how easy a relationship can be. 

Now I just gotta wait to get engaged.  

  • This reply was modified 1 year ago by  ksks9876. Reason: Added a line
Post # 6
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

It’s helpful in that it’s entertaining.  I posted two threads here when I was planning my wedding to solicit opinions when I was making a decision.  I wound up not following the advice but I did like hearing the opposing views.

Post # 7
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I joined for my wedding and to get some insight on things I’ve never dealt with before. Sometimes the overwhelming opposition can drive my anxiety up a wall (I have to change everything and spend more money!!!), but I also like the variety of perspective and creativity.

Post # 8
Member
9606 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

So for me I’ve gotten two types of advice from the bee, both useful.  1. Mother-In-Law advice.  2. TTC advice.

My Mother-In-Law advice-seeking has mostly been anon.  My threads have all been about MIL’s antics and the responses have mostly been helpful, actually.  The ones when I was anon were very helpful at basically slapping some sense in to me.  It turns out, sometimes you shouldn’t be the bigger person and turn the other cheek.. who knew.

The bee is the reason I realized it was not ok to let my MIL boundary stomp, emotionally abuse of my husband and verbally abuse me… the bee is a big part of the reason I ultimately decided to go to couples counseling with my husband, which is really doing wonders with helping him see how twisted her love is and how important enforcing boundaries are (to protect not just him, but me/our marriage and our unborn child’s wellbeing).  I’m happy not just for me, but for him… He’s learning that if she is doing or saying something that makes him uncomfortable, he’s allowed to tell her to stop and not accept “no” as an answer.  It’s so sad she had convinced him he didn’t have that right, before.  

The bee also helps me feel not alone in all this, which is nice.

In the TTC front the bee was great at helping me learn more about my cycles and meet a group of women who are really my close friends now.  So yeah, it was useful in that way too.

Post # 9
Member
6536 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

anonbee123123 :  I found the bee after my wedding.  Thank freaking God I didn’t find it sooner – I’d have been told to dump my husband for certain because I waited way the heck too long for my proposal.  They’d have absolutely told me he never wanted to marry me and to move on.  

Anyway as far as usefulness, and this will sound contradictory, I think the bees are generally good at pointing out when someone is dating a loser and needs to get the heck out of there.  Or even when they, themselves are the problem. People don’t always listen, but I think a lot of women need that outside perspective from LOTS of people to really see the state they are in.

I think where the bee falls apart is that women constantly forget that the “right” way varies excessively based on location and local/family traditions.  Sometimes they agree that culture makes it okay (say red envelopes if you’re Chinese), other times you’re just a terrible person (jeans at a casual wedding? Cash bar? que horror!).  And heaven forfend you don’t agree on politics.  I’ve very recently learned to just not click those, sigh.

The kind of advice I take for myself is recommendations about baby stuff, or looking at inspirational photos of remodels and the like.

Post # 10
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

anonbee123123 :  I received a lot of basic planning help here when I first got engaged – timelines, types of vendors, dress and wedding ring ideas.  After a month though I got sucked into the drama.  There are some repeat offenders on here that are horrifically mean gas lighters and excellent at manipulating and gas lighting other Bees as a cover, with clear followers.  That turned me off, so much so that I dropped out of here 6 months prior to my wedding as I noticed that I was reacting poorly to it myself!  I just got married so I’m back on from the excitement, but I expect to taper back off again once I get tired of the show again. 

Post # 11
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I discovered this forum because I was a total newbie in engagement rings and wanted to learn more, and then stayed here for the wedding planning. I’ll probably continue to come here after the wedding because I have very few female friends in real life, and the opinions of other women can be very useful, even if sometimes I find the forum a bit US-centric. 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Came for the weddings, stayed for the drama….LOL

Post # 13
Member
9732 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m just here to watch it all burn down. 

Post # 14
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Honestly the Bee wasn’t that helpful during wedding planning. However the people I’ve met on here while ttc/going through infertility have been amazing. I’m not sure where I would be without them tbh. So I’d say the most helpful thing I’ve gotten from the bee are the ladies from the ttc boards.

Post # 15
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

This place is much better than Facebook! I got advice on several topics mostly about living with fiancé. I do find bees here appear to be richer than avg. like their income and savings appear to be much higher than national average, that could be try but I don’t know why.

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