Post # 1
Hi bees, just kind of curious- do you find the advice you get on here helpful? Have you actually taken advice you’ve been given/seen someone else recieve and used it in real life?
There are SO many different opinions to pretty much most of the posts on here, which duh that’s what an online forum is all about but with so many different suggestions/opinions it almost seems overwhelming and difficult to take anything away and apply it to real life scenarios.
I definitely questioned almost everything I was doing throughout my wedding planning after reading different comments on here, the one thing I actually ended up doing was ordering more food after getting backlash about doing apps only and it ended up being uneccesary.
SO, just kind of curious as to what other people’s experience on here has been, do you come to read and give your two cents and ultimately rely on advice from your family/friends or do you really take to heart what the bees have to say?
Post # 2
I came for some wedding things but I’ve found sooooooo much more, I’m not really here for weddings anymore.
I’ve been dealt an interesting hand in life and this site has shown me that I’m not alone. Like, not even close. I like being someone on the outside of all of the hurt so that I can give someone advice who is right in the thick of it.
I’m mostly here for the emotional and family drama boards. I like to see the rings too though 😊
Post # 3
Yes. I landed on the Bee when I was trying to decide upon a ring. I’ve learned a great deal about traditions and expectations in other cultures not just about weddings but other things as well. I’ve stayed for support and to support others.
Post # 4
I didn’t know about Moissanite before the bee and now I’m converted!
Post # 5
Sansa85 : I’m with you on that.
My ex wasn’t ready to marry me two weeks before the wedding. He would gaslight me/ was emotionaly abusive. The bees helped me realize that I deserve better. Now I am dating a wonderful man and did not realize how easy a relationship can be.
Now I just gotta wait to get engaged.
Post # 6
It’s helpful in that it’s entertaining. I posted two threads here when I was planning my wedding to solicit opinions when I was making a decision. I wound up not following the advice but I did like hearing the opposing views.
Post # 7
I joined for my wedding and to get some insight on things I’ve never dealt with before. Sometimes the overwhelming opposition can drive my anxiety up a wall (I have to change everything and spend more money!!!), but I also like the variety of perspective and creativity.
Post # 8
So for me I’ve gotten two types of advice from the bee, both useful. 1. Mother-In-Law advice. 2. TTC advice.
My Mother-In-Law advice-seeking has mostly been anon. My threads have all been about MIL’s antics and the responses have mostly been helpful, actually. The ones when I was anon were very helpful at basically slapping some sense in to me. It turns out, sometimes you shouldn’t be the bigger person and turn the other cheek.. who knew.
The bee is the reason I realized it was not ok to let my MIL boundary stomp, emotionally abuse of my husband and verbally abuse me… the bee is a big part of the reason I ultimately decided to go to couples counseling with my husband, which is really doing wonders with helping him see how twisted her love is and how important enforcing boundaries are (to protect not just him, but me/our marriage and our unborn child’s wellbeing). I’m happy not just for me, but for him… He’s learning that if she is doing or saying something that makes him uncomfortable, he’s allowed to tell her to stop and not accept “no” as an answer. It’s so sad she had convinced him he didn’t have that right, before.
The bee also helps me feel not alone in all this, which is nice.
In the TTC front the bee was great at helping me learn more about my cycles and meet a group of women who are really my close friends now. So yeah, it was useful in that way too.
Post # 9
anonbee123123 : I found the bee after my wedding. Thank freaking God I didn’t find it sooner – I’d have been told to dump my husband for certain because I waited way the heck too long for my proposal. They’d have absolutely told me he never wanted to marry me and to move on.
Anyway as far as usefulness, and this will sound contradictory, I think the bees are generally good at pointing out when someone is dating a loser and needs to get the heck out of there. Or even when they, themselves are the problem. People don’t always listen, but I think a lot of women need that outside perspective from LOTS of people to really see the state they are in.
I think where the bee falls apart is that women constantly forget that the “right” way varies excessively based on location and local/family traditions. Sometimes they agree that culture makes it okay (say red envelopes if you’re Chinese), other times you’re just a terrible person (jeans at a casual wedding? Cash bar? que horror!). And heaven forfend you don’t agree on politics. I’ve very recently learned to just not click those, sigh.
The kind of advice I take for myself is recommendations about baby stuff, or looking at inspirational photos of remodels and the like.
Post # 10
anonbee123123 : I received a lot of basic planning help here when I first got engaged – timelines, types of vendors, dress and wedding ring ideas. After a month though I got sucked into the drama. There are some repeat offenders on here that are horrifically mean gas lighters and excellent at manipulating and gas lighting other Bees as a cover, with clear followers. That turned me off, so much so that I dropped out of here 6 months prior to my wedding as I noticed that I was reacting poorly to it myself! I just got married so I’m back on from the excitement, but I expect to taper back off again once I get tired of the show again.
Post # 11
I discovered this forum because I was a total newbie in engagement rings and wanted to learn more, and then stayed here for the wedding planning. I’ll probably continue to come here after the wedding because I have very few female friends in real life, and the opinions of other women can be very useful, even if sometimes I find the forum a bit US-centric. 🙂
Post # 12
Came for the weddings, stayed for the drama….LOL
Post # 13
I’m just here to watch it all burn down.
Post # 14
Honestly the Bee wasn’t that helpful during wedding planning. However the people I’ve met on here while ttc/going through infertility have been amazing. I’m not sure where I would be without them tbh. So I’d say the most helpful thing I’ve gotten from the bee are the ladies from the ttc boards.
Post # 15
This place is much better than Facebook! I got advice on several topics mostly about living with fiancé. I do find bees here appear to be richer than avg. like their income and savings appear to be much higher than national average, that could be try but I don’t know why.