Do you find the bee helpful? What ideas/advice have you taken and used IRL?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

slomotion :  Is that a bottle of lighter fluid in your hands? 

anonbee123123 :  I actually changed the entire plan for my wedding based on a post I saw on the Bee. We were thinking about Mexico, and as the difficulties of that were presenting themselves I saw someone post about an elopment in Banff. That was game over for me.

I tend to be more of the advice giver than the advice taker, but I have been called out on a thing or two. I was legitimately chastened about a topic I felt pretty settled in my opinion. I appreciate that this place isn’t just an echo chamber. Other perspectives are good for me. And everybody.

Plus I made a friend who transitioned into being one of my IRL besties. So the Bee has been very good to me.

Post # 17
2477 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I have and I’ve also read other bees posts about the most random shit and then talked to hubby about some of the topics. The bees do help put you in your place and it’s been done to me, however the down side is there can be a lot of snark and I’ve also been guilty of that. I find that some opinions here are so one sided sometimes especially the pile on posts where a lot of bees disagree about something that people I know in real life totally agree or disagree and have the same perspective that I do. And I don’t think it’s because I’m surrounded by people who think exactly like me. It’s more that this is the internet and I think people are more brave saying things behind the computer screen. I love the drama though and I laugh everytime someone brings up the Santa post I made that made me a horrible person that isn’t introspective at all and needs therapy. Nobody has gotten over that. The amount of financially “rich” bees here is quite extraordinary as well. I love it here though. 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

Post # 18
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

bridetobe2018 :  

“There are some repeat offenders on here that are horrifically mean gas lighters and excellent at manipulating and gas lighting other Bees as a cover, with clear followers.”

What ???? !! Are you sure you are talking about WB and not some other  site? WB is clearly and carefully moderated and would never allow   ‘horrifically mean‘  posts , let alone such a thing as ‘gaslighting’  In fact , I wonder if you know what it actually means –  how on earth could these posts be culpable in manipulating  other posters  into doubting their own  sanity ? 

ETA, I see you have started something  like 40 threads over the last two years and are still making new ones asking for  advice , which seems a bit odd given your views ……

Post # 19
1560 posts
Bumble bee

in terms on non-wedding related advice, absolutely it has been bang on everytime. to be honest for my wedding the tips on here were a bit over the top, I definitely think due to geographical location of most of the bees, that majority of advice was a bit out of context for where I live. 

Post # 20
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

Yes reading alot has helped me learn alot of ettiquite, and also what ettiquite is dated and flexible. There’s also been so many messy situations (coz family and situations are never perfect) and seeing the perspectives and how they were handled has been very helpful.  Mostly information gathering at this point 

Post # 21
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

elderbee :  

I’ve seen it. I’ve started to flag now. 

Post # 22
1244 posts
Bumble bee

I stumbled upon this site when I was searching for an engagement ring upgrade. I was not remotely looking for wedding advice. Actually, tomorrow is our 15th wedding anniversary. I find that there are interesting points of view here. Overall, the community is supportive and helpful. Sure there are some weird outliers at times, but that keeps balance. 

And I really love ooglng the rings board. 😉

Post # 23
10664 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I have picked up a few interesting things from the Bee here and there.

I give out much more advice than I get. That’s based on being very old and having spent my young adulthood acting out.  If there is one thing upon which I will stake my claim to expertise, it is how to have bad relationships.

Mine were horrible. Debasing, humiliating, dishonest, abusive, unfaithful, whatever you can think of that is self destructive.

Eventually, I shook off enough of my childhood to start taking better care of myself. That was in my 30s. But, I was still doing a lot of sexual acting out, just with much better guys.

The amazing thing, in retrospect, is that I made it through college and grad school during all of this.

There probably not too many relationship dynamics I haven’t experienced or observed at least once.  I was in the mental health profession myself, which helped me turn things around. Being in a doctoral program changed how I saw myself also.

And lots of good therapy.

When I see other women in pain, or on a self-destruct trajectory, it is nearly impossible for me to keep quiet about it. It would be like driving past someone injured in a terrible accident without even trying to stop and help.

Post # 24
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I’m currently planning my wedding and have found this site to be helpful so far. I’ve started a few threads, and it’s good to get some different opinions that aren’t mine or my fiance’s. It helps us to figure out what the majority of our guests might think or want. And when I asked about wedding websites, a couple of people here mentioned appycouple, which I had never heard of before, and we ended up using that site for our wedding website! So overall, it’s been useful so far, and I expect that in the 9 months until my wedding I’ll probably end up asking about a few other things here.

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