- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
Ok, bees. My partner and I are disagreeing on something and I’m looking for second opinions. This isn’t an all our argument we’re having, just something we are disagreeing on. If I’m wrong then I’ll hold my hands up and let it go, but I can’t shake the feeling she is about to do something that might be percieved as a little odd.
My partner grew up in another part of the country. I grew up in another country altogether. So we both have friends from back home but who we have lost touch with. When I go home, there are probably about 2-3 people that I still see (plus family obviously) and have kept in touch with. By kept in touch I mean actively chatted to not just occasionally commented on their facebook status. I see them for drinks, we send Christmas cards, we message eachother back and forth. I maintain those friendships and although only see those people maybe once (twice sometimes) a year, we are still friends. My partner also has friends from back home but hasn’t kept in touch in the same way I have and so they have drifted apart. She freely admits this.
We’ve been clearing stuff out last few months etc and she’s gotten back in to cross stitching as a hobbie – she used to do this ages ago. Anyway, she’s found this large cross stitch pattern that was half finished and set about finishing it . It’s a giant wall chart for measuring and marking a childs height. I’ve never asked her why she was doing the pattern even though it’s not something either of us would ever like. Truth be told, the chart is proper ugmo and has an ugly clown on it. So last night I asked what she was going to do with it once it was done and it transpired she is sending it to a friend back home.
Apparently the friend paid for it 5 years ago and she just never got around to finishing it. Last time her and this friend spoke was 2 years ago. Sometimes after that the friend unfriended her on facebook. So my partner tried messaging her a few times and never got a response. They haven’t spoken since. This ex-friend is also a friend of her ex wife who she was officially divorced from last year. The divorce got ugly with the ex wife playing mind games all the way through – even though the relationship had ended because her ex wife had decided she now liked men and at the time of the divorce was in a relationship with a man and pregnant. This ex friend is apparently close to the ex wife. Despite all this, my partner is hellbent on sending the completed cross stitch to her on the ground she has already paid for it. We’re talking £30.
I can’t help but feel this will be percieved borderline creepy and that the ex-friend is going to think her weird. 5 years ago she bought the pattern from her!!! They haven’t spoken in two years and the girl all but gave her the cyber “f*ck off” by unfriending on facebook around the time of the divorce and then ignoring messages from my partner that followed.
I can’t help but feel sometimes my partner clings to the past and the friendships she never maintained and I’m worried she is setting herself up for a humiliation. She says it isnt about rekindling the friendship, simply about giving to the woman what she paid for. But if you hadn’t spoken to someone in two years, kicked them off your facebook, ignored their messages etc; how would you feel is a cross stitch you paid for 5 years ago just turned up on your doorstep?
Really, just looking for second opinions. As I said, this isn’t an argument but I”m worried my gf is about to make a massive fool of herself.
Am I just being overly protective of her?