(Closed) Do you follow up with guests who didn’t bring a gift?

posted 12 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
683 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

oh gosh…no no no. Don’t ask about the gift

I understand. I REALLY understand. I am excited to get gifts and as tacky as it is to admit….I am going to be hurt if some people don’t give. I just had my Bparty this weekend and no one gave me a gift…and I know it sounds bad…but I totally noticed and felt a little let down.

BUT…I don’t think you can EVER ask about a gift. I think you have to jsut assume they didn’t get you anything and then just let it go. Maybe "accidently" forget to send them an xmas card this year…(passive aggressive I know   haha)….but I don’t think you can say anything.

Post # 4
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t say anything. I would wait for them. If I gave someone a gift and I did’t receive a thank you (written or otherwise) I would probably ask the receiver if they enjoyed the gift. It may make your guests feel awkward if you ask them and they did in fact not give you a gift.

Post # 5
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree.  Don’t ask about the gift.  Maybe you could just send a thank you note thanking them for taking the trip for your wedding and how much you loved having them there. 

I wouldn’t expect a gift from someone if I know they had to spend a lot of money to travel for my wedding.  Having them there with me on the day is more important than a gift.

Post # 6
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I wouldn’t say anything. Hopefully nothing got lost, but you should assume that they just didn’t give anything. If you don’t acknowledge a gift that they *did* send, it’ll get back to you.

Post # 7
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

i wouldn’t say anything about the gift. you can still send them a thank you note for coming to your wedding. if they did send a gift, they may find it odd that you did not thank them for the gift and ask you about it (if they did send one). if, after you send the thank for coming note and they don’t say anything, i think it’s safe to assume their presence was their present.

Post # 8
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

I agree, if I was a guest and you did not acknowledge the gift I gave/sent I would more than likely check in with you after some time of not receiving a thank-you…or maybe mention to someone else involved in the wedding which always gets back to you! Just hold tight, you are bound to find out if that’s the case.

Post # 9
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I wouldnt ask about the gift. it seems like you’re fishing for it.

Post # 10
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

I am also on the don’t not say anything boat… If you feel you must say something I would write them a Thank You for coming to the wedding and how much you appreciate their attending your wedding from so far away. If they got you something they may contact you and ask if you received if after that b/c you didn’t mention anything in the Thank You.

Post # 11
Member
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

No no no! Don’t do it, don’t ask about the gift.

Just send them a thank you for attending card, and if they sent a gift and you don’t mention it they will likely be curious and mention it.

We should never assume we will get gifts for anything (yes, it is customary … but a wedding is a wedding, not a gift-grab) 

Post # 12
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree that you can’t ask about the gift! That would be a BIG no-no.

I would assume that they didn’t get you anything (even a card). If they did write you a big check that got lost (seems unlikely) then eventually they will ask you why you haven’t cashed it. As hard as it is, I would just write them a thank-you card, thanking them for sharing your wedding day with you. Hopefully they will feel bad once they get the thank-you card!

 

Post # 13
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel

I agree with the other posters – just send a thank you for their coming to share the day with you.  I think if they did in fact give a gift, they would notice that you didn’t mention it in your thank you and probably ask you about it.  Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh my gosh, no!  If it’s a check, they’ll likely notice that you never cashed/deposited it, and will follow up with you.  Let it be the other way around.

Post # 15
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My first response is NO!!!! Do not follow up. Absolutely not.

 

Post # 16
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I wouldn’t say anything. Check out Emily Posts advice here.

The topic ‘Do you follow up with guests who didn’t bring a gift?’ is closed to new replies.

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