(Closed) Do you get along with his mom?

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you get along with his mom?
    Yes - we are close friends : (77 votes)
    47 %
    No - we fight like cats and dogs : (5 votes)
    3 %
    50/50 - we get along most of the time : (49 votes)
    30 %
    Other - explain : (34 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Since we live within 15 minutes of both my parents and Fi’s parents, we visit both of our families a lot.  I love the family I am marrying into and I am so lucky to get such wonderful in-laws.  Although I haven’t "hung out" with my Future Mother-In-Law yet, I can see us doing more things together as time goes on.

    Post # 48
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

    We get along great! But she is also in another state and I see her about 2-3 times a year for a couple days at a time… however, I don’t think I would dislike her if I did see her more ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    Post # 49
    Member
    1105 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I’ve lucked out on my Future Mother-In-Law. We get along great, my mom and my Future Mother-In-Law even get along great. I was always worried about what kind of relationship I would have with my Future Mother-In-Law when it came time for me to get married. I haven’t seen many good relationships with inlaws, even in my own parents relationship. From the first time we met, we hit it off! We go shopping together and hang out when we are in town. I thank my lucky stars everyday!!

    Post # 50
    Member
    677 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    My Future Mother-In-Law is really a wonderful person… Sometimes a bit too wonderful.

    My family is not a touchy-feely, oh-I-love-you, let-me-help type of group so coming into a family that’s matriarch is so hands on is disconcerting to me. I sometimes feel like I need to step back and re-establish the fact that while I love her I really love her more if I’m not tripping over her.

    How sad is it that I wish my guy’s mother were LESS sweet. ~sigh~

    Post # 51
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    sometimes I feel that both my Future Mother-In-Law and I purposely avoid anything confrontational. Sounds weird, guess you’d have to be there. I’m very independent in thinking as well as in practice. It seems that because I do totally have my sh*t together financially, etc. she feels threatened in some way like her son doesn’t or won’t need her anymore…I sure hope I’m wrong, but my instinct tells me otherwise!

    Post # 52
    Member
    1220 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    my Future Mother-In-Law is odd.  She comes from a very conservative religious background and while I’ve been around for 6 years that doesn’t help a bit.  We lived together for 2 years awhile back…then he went and got an apt. with some of his friends for awhile.  Now we’re living together again and his mom is just very disapproving.  It’s very hard and very hurtful.

     

    He understands where she’s coming from but doesn’t have the same strict outlook on life.  Her religion really colors her actions.

     

    That and she has this voice that she uses that always sounds like she’s crying or "you’ve just hurt me".  It’s very annoying and very manipulative.

     

    She’s pushing kids.  I’m ignoring for now.  My Fiance just says to not worry about her.  We only see them for a couple hours ever few months.  And even after we’re married it’s not going to make us see any more of them.  They always want us to make the 2 hours trek out to them but they never come to us. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I feel like I hit the in-laws jackpot.  My Future Mother-In-Law and I are a LOT alike and get along really well and I’m so grateful for it.  We are really alike, it’s been joked about a lot, and she’s just a very caring, easygoing, supportive woman.  Hard not to get along with her.  It’s nice bc while I love my mom to death, it’s nice to have a mom figure who is a little bit less overbearing than my own ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 54
    Member
    700 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My Future Mother-In-Law used to come over and clean our house when we were gone.  I hated this!

    1)  We are not messy.  In fact we are pretty darn neat and tidy and clean.

    2)  We are not children. 

    3)  There’s only room for ONE woman of the house.

    This took some getting use to for her, but now we get along just fine. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    105 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010 - Amy's Manor

    I am very lucky, my Future Mother-In-Law is wonderful! She has two boys so she has always wanted a daughter, she totally spoils me and I am extremely grateful to have such a close relationship with her. Plus, she can be more of the fun, friend-mom while I have my own mom to go to for guidance/support. I have the best of both worlds. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 56
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    My Future Mother-In-Law and I get along most of the time but she can be very controlling and fixate on things that really don’t matter. My biggest pet peeve is that she has mentioned once or twice that I am taking her son away from her (he is the youngest) and its "nothing against me" she just never gets to see him anymore because he is "always with me". Le sigh.  

    Post # 57
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Since we have been together almost 7 years and I have only been allowed in the house since we got engaged. (His family is Sikh Indian and didn’t want dating in their household). It is very hard to deal with that and cultural differences between what they believe should occur with the wedding and what we want.

    Post # 58
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    My Future Mother-In-Law is lovely, but I barely know her, and am not likely ever to get to know her well, at least not in any conventional sense. Fiance grew up in a closed religious community, so I’ve met his parents only twice, once for a day and once for a weekend. His mother, though, absolutely bent over backwards to make me feel welcome and, on our second visit, when we were already engaged, to include me in the family and make sure I understood that, although I come from a different cultural background, they’re very pleased that we’re getting married. (Good grief, that was too many commas for one sentence!)

    Post # 59
    Member
    7429 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    His mom is an alcoholic who takes all kinds of pills on top of the drinking even though the bottle explicitly says "DO NOT TAKE WITH ALCOHOL!!"  She’s really sweet but the drinking has caused a rift between her and Fiance, and he’s told her more than once if she can’t control her drinking he’s out of her life.  I tell him he needs to spend more time with her, but he doesn’t want to be around.  She’s very…weird due to all the pills and drinking which is unfortunate cuz I know she’s a really great person.  His sister commented that she’s getting weirder and weirder, not making sense most of the time…Its a hard situation and I try not to tell Fiance what to do when it concerns his mom, since she is HIS mom.

    His dad’s Girlfriend on the other hand, we’re like peas in a pod sometimes.  I can talk to her about pretty much anything, and she’s willing to do pretty much anything for the wedding.  ven though her and Father-In-Law aren’t going to get married (he said once he divorced Fiance mom that he’s not getting remarried, and his Girlfriend has been married twice herself) I still consider her my other Future Mother-In-Law.

    Post # 60
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I get along most of the time with my Future Mother-In-Law, I think mostly because I am really easy going. Funny thing is, is that I will have the same Mother-In-Law as my sister (she married my FI’s brother). My sister and her DO NOT get along what so ever, my sister just moved out of state last year and they have only talked like once. Sooo I get the crap from both of them so Im pretty much the middle man. But other than that I really like her! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 61
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee

    This thread just makes me laugh ๐Ÿ™‚ My Future Mother-In-Law has always been very sweet to me. In fact, she’s a very sweet person, but she really fixates on things which translates to me as putting her nose in my business. She and Future Father-In-Law have a very difficult time acting "normal" around me; for some reason they are just nervous around me. I know that they really like me, but they just can’t seem to really get to know me or let me get to know them.

    Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law truly want the best for us, but they sometimes are very manipulative to us (I don’t think they consciously do it). Fiance agrees with all of this, but it has started to become a problem in our relationship recently. His parents are sweet people, but they are really causing stress on us!

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