- 3 years ago
Hey bees! Today at work, a coworker and I got to talking about this subject and I’m just curious to see what other people do in these situations.
Fiance and I don’t have any children, but we have plenty of friends who do. When their kids birthdays roll around, we’re almost always invited to their birthday parties. To be honest, I was very surprised when this first happened. I figured since we didn’t have any children, we wouldn’t be invited to a childrens party, but I guess that seems to be the norm – at least in our circle of friends. The thing is, we both think this is kind of weird. I mean, we don’t have children of our own and the parents are usually always so busy making sure everything runs smoothly that we usually just end up standing their awkwardly. People ask us “which ones yours?” and we have to explain that we’re just friends of the parents and they just kind of nod and smile with a look on their face that says “why are you even here?” lol. Plus, it’s super weird when we’re at parties where most parents drop their children off and leave. We’re usually the only adults there that aren’t directly related to the kids and we’re usually off in a corner by ourselves somewhere.
Now, of course things would be different if we had nieces/nephews. We’d be at those birthday parties no matter what, but we don’t have any yet. Also, if we had children of our own and we all got invited as a family, we wouldn’t feel so weird about it. Another reason to attend these parties would be if we were super close with our friends children, but that’s not really the case. Usually when we hang out, they leave the kids at home and we usually only see them here and there if we stop by their house quick. There’s 3 parties that stick out in my mind that we’ve attended in the last year, and only one of them was actually enjoyable. That’s because the party was at my friend’s house and it was a barbecue over the summer. The kids were outside swimming for the most part and the adults were inside where there were adult beverages being served and once the kids left, the adults took over the pool. The other 2 we were just awkwardly standing around while all of the festivities were taking place and people kept asking us which child was ours and once we said that we were friends of the parents, they’d ask if we were there to chaperone. One of these parties we felt like we were the chaperones because it was at a roller skating rink and the parents dropped off their kids, so anytime one of them needed something, they saw us 2 adults and came to us, asking us to fix their skates, take their skates off, tie their shoes, asked for more cake, etc. It was actually pretty exhausting lol.
So anymore, I’m kind of stuck on what to do. I don’t want my friends to get upset or feel like I don’t want to be around their kids, but at the same time, these parties are usually on a night we could be out doing something we enjoy, where we don’t end up as chaperones. The other side of it is maybe they just invite us simply because they don’t want us to feel left out, but honestly, we wouldn’t even be the tiniest bit offended if we didn’t get invited to a kids party.
I’m thinking about just politely declining the invite from here on out but still giving a gift to the child. I think that’s kind of a happy medium, but I don’t want my friends thinking I don’t like their kids or something.
What would you do in my situation? Also, if you are a parent, do you invite your friends without kids to their parties? If they decline, does it bother you?